I Hate Everyone, Except You by Clinton Kelly

I Hate Everyone, Except You entered my life at the perfect time. I listened to a David Sedaris book last week and was unimpressed with some of his more edgy material. Clinton Kelly has the snark and sass of Sedaris, but, in my opinion, more heart and empathy.

Let’s just say, if Sedaris’ book was a hard drug, the Kelly book equivalent would be “a little fresca on a panty shield” loc 1784, ebook. Perhaps uncensored, he’s more honest and vulgar than what his fans usually see, but he’s real.

I really enjoyed this one, but don’t go into it expecting Kelly to parade himself around as the fashionista from What Not to Wear the whole time. It is definitely not that.

Kelly’s dialogue (inner and outer) is hilarious. Take this moment, he’s psyched himself up and gone on an interview for an editorial position at a fashion mag and he’s asked to wait: “I’ll hang out here in the lobby,” I said. Yep, I’ll just sit in that plastic chair facing the door, watching my dreams rot like a bowl of fruit on time-lapse video. Thanks so much. Employees began to arrive, coffees in hand, and quite frankly, I had expected them to be better looking. … Sure, some of them were so skinny you could see through them, but they didn’t look happy about it. I had been expecting to work among anorexic women who radiated inner strength, not soul-crushing hunger. And what was with all the joyless denim? loc 375, ebook.

It makes me wonder what he would say if he saw my office crowd. Maybe I wouldn’t want to know.

Kelly isn’t religious but he seems to be spiritual in that he believes people should live authentically every moment for as long as they can.

Here’s what he has to say about it: “… the older I get…, the less Destiny and Fate-and their cousin, Faith, for that matter-concern me. For some, the opposite is true. Men and women on their deathbeds, old as the Appalachaians, wondering what it was “all about”. So foolish. I must admit, perhaps to the detriment of your esteem for me, that my sympathy for such wonderers is minimal. Imagine being given a life and not understanding until its ugly end that the point was to live it.” loc 494, ebook.

I can see how that attitude could offend some people, so, here’s your warning. He’s not anti-religion necessarily. He’s pro- figuring out what works for you.

How he found his way onto “What Not to Wear” was New Age in the extreme and I’m so glad he recorded it here for us.

He didn’t like his current job and wasn’t sure what to do, so he talked to his friend: “She suggested that I ask the Universe for guidance. I wasn’t quite sure how to do that until I read a couple of books by Caroline Myss, in which she explained that if you ask the Universe for help, it will provide help.” loc 512.

Not to spoil the story, but guess what he did? I’ve read a bunch of New Age stuff and, honestly, Caroline Myss is hard core, sometimes angry even, and unapologetic about it. If I was asked to recommend a Law of Attraction author to a complete new comer to the topic, I’d pick Abraham Hicks, but whatever works.

Kelly found what he needed when he needed it and he didn’t even know it was missing- the very essence of New Age teachings.

My favorite part of the whole book: “When What Not to Wear ended a few years ago, many reporters asked me about my favorite and least favorite makeovers and the worst fashion faux pas I had ever witnessed. But not a single one asked me what I had learned about women over ten years of listening to their concerns about their bodies and their clothes. … Women want to feel beautiful. I’ve never met one who said she didn’t, and believe me, I’ve asked around.” loc 602, ebook.

Yes! And why would women want to feel beautiful? Because they would think they were worthy of love then. So, at the end of the day, what does every woman, man, child on earth want? Love.

Kelly talks about his failed and successful relationships in an honest manner, never denying that his own foibles could be why things tanked:“What probably kept us together was Rick’s ability to produce a level of rage in me so profound it actually inspired out-of-body experiences.” loc 2097, ebook. Funny, no?

Highly recommended for people who liked, but didn’t love David Sedaris or readers who enjoy humorous/tell-all memoirs. Some similar books: I’m Just a Person, The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year, or Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery books for a free digital advance reader’s copy of this book. And, thank you for reading.

Set Your Voice Free: How to Get the Singing or Speaking Voice You Want by Roger Love

Set Your Voice Free was page after page of life changing revelations to me. I picked this book up because I was trying to address a specific problem.

When I speak in front of groups, nerves take over and I subconsciously close my throat, cutting off my air, making my voice weak, and losing my message in my process. I didn’t know that was what I was doing until I read this book. I just thought that my voice changed, but I didn’t know how or why.

Roger has changed all that for me and I’m so excited to put his suggestions into practice.

A world class speech and singing coach, Roger has helped many famous and every day people find their voices. “The most profound discovery I’ve made in the past fifteen years is this: If you know how to control the pitch, pace, tone, volume, and melody of your voice- the elements that form the core of this book- you can consciously use them to guide the emotions of your listeners and magnify the impact of every communication you have.” loc 85-109, ebook.

He goes on to list countless exercises and examples of just that. A consummate teacher, Roger includes almost every vocal problem imaginable in Set Your Voice Free as well as situations in which one would need to put her best voice forward.

Like visual impact, Roger tells us that audiences form their opinions about speakers and singers quickly, taking only one second of vocalizing to come to their conclusions. So, he says, you want to utilize that fleeting moment to make the best impression that you can.

It all starts with the breath: “The magic that I work with voices is built on a fundamental rhythm: the movements of the body as you inhale and exhale. Breathing smoothly and deeply works wonders for the body in general. … Once you learn to breathe as calmly and steadily as a child does, you are on your way to fabulous vocal reaches.” loc 808, ebook.

Intellectually, I knew how breathing worked and, demonstrably, I’ve been breathing my whole life, but Roger gave me a complete education about what deep breathing FEELS and SOUNDS like. I can see how this book could be life changing for readers as it has been for me.

In addition to vocal exercises, Roger includes stage and bodily movement, mixing them with the voice to create the total package. “All stage movement can be reduced to a simple pattern, and when you know how to use it, you can simply and effectively maneuver in front of any audience anywhere.” loc 3270, ebook.

Performers and speakers all types will find information worth knowing in this book. “When you begin to put yourself and your ideas clearly and thoughtfully into the world, with all the energy you feel, people will notice. Their new attention and interest may make you feel self-conscious, but keep using the techniques you’ve learned. You’ll be a more active, influential player in your life, instead of being pushed to the sidelines.” loc 4406, ebook. Everyone wants that.

Very highly recommended for anyone who speaks, sings, or wants to more mindfully express their message. Set Your Voice Free will help anyone who reads it turn his or her voice into a finely tuned instrument of communication.

Perfect for beginners to well seasoned artists and speakers- it contains something for everyone. Some similar reads to help you put your best self forward: Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds, or The Art of Exceptional Living.

Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for a free advance reader’s copy of this book! And, thank you for reading!

Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris

David Sedaris is a unique American humorist. Sometimes I love his essays and other times I hate them, so ranking a collection of his work fairly is difficult.

I listened to the audiobook of Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls on my daily commute and he’s a wonderful narrator.

Actually, having read a handful of his other books, I’d recommend listening to him read his essays. His timing and inflections are perfection. He’s one of the few humorists who has literally made me laugh out loud.

The high points of this collection are Understanding Understanding Owls, Laugh Kookaburra, and A Guy Walks into a Bar Car. They’re unbelievably funny and have a lot of heart.

The low points were: Health-Care Freedoms and Why I want my Country Back, If I Ruled the World, and Dog Days. It’s as if he ran out of material and tacked the worst of it on the end.

Dog Days was awful and reminded me of Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary which I couldn’t stand. Vulgar prose just isn’t my thing, I guess.

Recommended for adult readers who are looking for a laugh and don’t mind some profanity and general silliness. More humorous books that I’ve enjoyed: Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, Dad Is Fat, and It’s All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays, and 50 Boxes of Wine.

Creativity: The Perfect Crime by Philippe Petit

In Creativity, Philippe invites the reader into his mind and attempts to dissect his creative process. For this to make any sense, you sort of have to let go of reality as you know it and step into his pipe dream world for the duration of the read.

Sometimes I was able to do this and followed his twisting train of thought to some fascinating conclusions, but other times I couldn’t. So, if you pick this one up, prepare yourself. It’s not for everyone.

I marked a couple of his ideas that resonated with me:“If you are an artist, you want to create a giant wall around yourself and, inside that wall, to follow your honesty and your intuition. What the audience will see is a man or woman who is a prisoner of his or her passion, and that is the most inspiring performance in the world.” pg 16 “To be a prisoner of passion”- I’ve never heard an artist described that way before.

In pages 20 to 26, Philippe essentially describes his brainstorming process as a paper version of Pinterest (my comparison, not his). He takes all of these words and pictures and files them according to some associations that his mind makes, then reassembles the results into art… somehow.

Read these pages if you want to explore how difficult it is for a creative type to write down his process in a manner that makes sense to anyone other than him or herself. It’s interesting but baffling.

“Another theory of mine: turning in circles and getting lost is important! You find yourself when you get lost.” pg 28 I embrace that theory as well.

“Go to school if you want to learn. Go to life if you want to feel.” pg 85 Loved that.

“Use your creative paranoia to be on the lookout for negativity; observe with a positive spirit: “What a beautiful disaster!” uttered the French architect Le Corbusier when he visited Manhattan for the first time.” pg 100

“Even if you are not a performer, even if you don’t have an act, do not think that you have nothing to rehearse! The art of living makes a performing artist out of you.” pg 122 We are all creators, painting our lives in wide strokes around us, even those of us who can’t draw a stick figure or walk on a rope between skyscrapers.

“Look in the mirror of fear and focus beyond it. What appears in the background is your path, awaiting.” pg 149 Something to keep in mind when life’s anxieties and impossibilities assail you.

Creativity: The Perfect Crime is one of a kind but if you liked it, I’d recommend reading PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives by Frank Warren (hundreds of people around the country decorate plain postcards with a secret that they’ve never revealed to another person- it shows the heights and depths of creativity and artistic catharsis) or How to Fly a Horse: The Secret History of Creation, Invention, and Discovery by Kevin Ashton (a more logical than emotional book about the creative process, how it works, and how everybody can create).

Speaking of Philippe Petit, did anybody else watch The Walk with Joseph Gordon-Levitt which was about his famous tight rope walk between the Twin Towers?

If you read this book first, it makes so much more sense.

Thanks for reading!

Iron Soul: The Ritual of Passage by Tony Floyd

ironsoul An ambitious book with complex world building, I nearly gave up on Iron Soul because I felt like it was too much for one story. But, I stuck with it and really enjoyed the ending. Here’s just a taste of this book: there’s multiple worlds in which the dead spend their after lives that all have their own sets of immortal (sort of) warriors each with their own unique magic system, the struggles of the dead stuck on Earth, the plight of the dead who don’t know that they’re dead, the living who have no faith and no where to go after they die, the spaces between the worlds that are filled with monsters, a sophisticated system of hierarchy and trade among souls, a process of augmentation of powers among the dead, souls trapped in dolls, animal spirits and soul bonding…

That’s all in addition to the basic story line- Aldus fights spectres and saves lost souls, he is called a Ferryman. While out on duty, he finds a powerful soul bound to Earth, whose name is Robert. Together, with a Jewish warrior named Benjamin, an ancient animal spirit, and an unlikely wandering soul who is bound in an unexpected container, Aldus and Robert will face one of the greatest threats that the living and immortal worlds have ever known- a mad man who will stop at nothing to allow spectres (monstrous spirits) to enter the world and prey on the living. Like I said, this is very ambitious and well-conceived novel but I felt that the book, like Robert in his earth bound chains, struggles under the huge weight of so many story elements.

The characterizations were awesome though:
“Aldus Vorkis was an old soul. To an elder Ferryman of his caliber there were ways, there were means, there were paths, and therein lay the answers for every question worth answering if people could only be bothered to take the time and look.” loc 78, ebook. Aldus makes an excellent mentor figure.

Robert was my favorite character: “Being an Iron Soul is not just about raw power, Robert. You were isolated from any true, intelligent contact whatsoever for two hundred years, boy, and yet I have no doubt that you are psychologically the same now as when you still lived. An Iron Soul has the power to not only face mighty forces on the same footing, but to also endure trials that would break a normal man’s spirit.” loc 1600, ebook.

This story may not appeal to atheists as atheists are written as clueless wanderers who don’t belong in any after life and are gathered up and shunted to the Christian world out of pity. Liberal readers may also take exception as an abortion clinic is depicted as the spawn point for countless spectres and the greatest of all evils on Earth. Granted, Floyd never uses the world “abortion” but it is clear what he’s talking about. But, on the other hand, this book may appeal to readers because of those very reasons. So, my friends, choose whatever option is appropriate for you. As I said, I was tripping over the sheer amount of information contained in this book and am rarely offended by anything that I read, but I noted it because it could potentially trigger people with strong opinions about these topics one way or another.

Also, I noticed that the Christian and Jewish after lives are shown but no Buddhist, Muslim, or Hindu worlds… yet. They’re hinted at certainly and this is the first book in a series, so maybe Floyd is saving them for later.

This all sounds far more negative than I was intending this review to be. As I said, the ending packs quite a punch (in more ways than one) and if you can wind your way through this book, there are rewards to be found. I very much enjoyed the character development, the relationships between the characters, and Robert’s awesome ride (which I will not detail here as it is one of the best parts of Iron Soul in my opinion). Recommended for readers who enjoy complex science fiction/fantasy and truly unique concepts.

Thank you to NetGalley and North Loop Books for a digital advance reader’s copy of this book! And, thank you for reading!

Your Inner Critic Is a Big Jerk: And Other Truths About Being Creative by Danielle Krysa

A quirky little book about how to inspire your own creativity and how to use your inner negative voice to its best advantage. Martha Rich’s art elevates what is actually rather simple text, but, on a more positive note, it is a quick read for those who may be short on time.

I couldn’t help but draw similarities between this book and Unmistakable: Why Only Is Better Than Best, which I read last week. Your Inner Critic is a Big Jerk deals with the sensitive parts of the creative process and breaking through your fears about how your art will be received.

Unmistakable is more about why you need to create the art that only you can create and how a bunch of different artists have managed to do just that. But, if you’re looking to jump start your creativity this year, pick up both of these because they actually complement each other fairly well.

One of my take-aways from Your Inner Critic is that it is never too late to start doing what you do: “Far too often, people tell me, “I wish I hadn’t given up on art [or dancing, acting, writing, music], but it’s too late now.” What! Why? I don’t believe that for a second. Many amazingly talented people didn’t hit their stride until their thirties, forties, or later.” pg 20

And Krysa goes on to list such luminaries as van Gogh, Money, and Julia Child. Can you believe that!

Even if you didn’t go to school to learn whatever art you feel compelled to create, you are still an artist. I’ve been pricked by that negative inner whisper once or twice and it was cathartic to learn that I’m not alone in that struggle and to finally put it to rest: “If you want to learn something new, go learn something new. Set yourself up to get this new skill in whichever way suits you best. You are what you know, regardless of when and where you did the learning.” pg 45

Some further reading: Unmistakable: Why Only Is Better Than Best or Creativity: The Perfect Crime

Thanks for reading!

I’m Just a Person by Tig Notaro

Tig Notaro is a survivor. Her dry humor shines through these pages as she tells her life story: multiple brushes with death, romantic relationships, and snapshots of her childhood, parents, and thought processes.

She shows us that she’s “just a person”, yes, but also how extraordinary an ordinary person can be when presented with nearly insurmountable difficulties like dropping out of school at an early age, having a biological father who was never present and a stepfather who was never available emotionally, a mother who was so immature that Tig practically raised herself, not to mention all of the health problems that came later.

I picked up this book because I was enamored of Tig’s stand-up routines. This book has their flavor but far more detail than her act- if you’ve enjoyed her comedy, you’ll probably like this too.

I loved reading about how Tig found her calling and her people: “I began to refer to the comedy scene as “the land of misfit toys.” It was comforting to be surrounded by people who didn’t fit into the confines of society, and it was the first time in my life that I wasn’t met with the boring conversation stopper: “Oh my God, you’re so weird.” pg 47

This part cracked me up- Tig’s discovered lumps in her breasts but she doesn’t think they’re anything to be concerned about. Her girlfriend disagreed: “Instead of making a doctor’s appointment, I spent the next couple months teasing Brooke by removing my shirt and saying, “Hey, wanna touch my cancer?” It was really fun to walk past her holding my chest and blurting out, “Ow! My cancer!” pg 109-110.

I thought that the chapter in which Tig talks about her biological father, Pat, was particularly well-written. She takes complex emotional pain and makes it into something beautiful: “He was obviously still in pain over the loss of my mother and the news of my health, but I knew that this grief could not kindle any real kind of familial bond between us. I guess I believed there was something inherently broken in Pat’s relationship with me and my brother. Maybe we had all missed some ambiguous window of time when we could have salvaged some hope for a real connection. I am certain, however, that we have the same feelings: I want everything to be okay for him and he wants everything to be okay for me.” pg 205

That is Tig’s strength- her ability to take the worst in life and wring not just humor but meaning out of it. Some similar reads: Sleepwalk With Me and Other Painfully True Stories, Shrinkage: Manhood, Marriage, and the Tumor That Tried to Kill Me, or A Girl Named Zippy.

Thanks for reading!

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

Halfway through reading this one, it occurred to me that I read Interview with a Vampire in high school, but it left so little impression that I promptly forgot about it until 16 or so years later when, as I was reading it again, I began to recall some of it as I went along. This is a cerebral treatment of the vampire genre, an examination of good vs evil, what immortality really means, the first of its kind in “vampire books” and an allegory of the soul itself. It is all of those things, but it’s not very fun to read. The pace drags along and, for being a horror novel, it’s not horrific, mainly dull.

Now, as back in high school, I wanted more information about what happened to Louis’s brother at the very start. Rice hints at paranormal interference on the stairs and in the brother’s religious vision, but the truth is never revealed. Maybe I have to dig through subsequent novels to find out what happened. That is the start of Louis’ troubles, the lynch pin of the whole book and Rice just glosses over it.

I also was unimpressed by Louis’s self professed “sensitivity” to life. It all combined to make him into an unending complainer. “People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don’t know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult.” pg 14, ebook. He monologues like that a lot as the book is set up as an interview, which I didn’t mind too much, but I could have done without for the last third. I mean, at that point, we know the kid with the tape recorder is there. I wanted to get lost in the story but we’re never really allowed to because we’re always flashing back and forth.

It’s difficult to enjoy a book when you don’t really like the main character.“I lived like a man who wanted to die but who had no courage to do it himself. I walked black streets and alleys alone; I passed out in cabarets. … And then I was attacked. It might have been anyone- and my invitation was open to sailors, thieves, maniacs, anyone. But it was a vampire.” pg 13, ebook. Interview with the Maniac just doesn’t have the same ring, does it. And yet, I might read it. 🙂

Rice’s vampires are emotionless, except for Louis who is seemingly exploding with sensitivity and angst: “By morning, I realized that I was his complete superior and I had been sadly cheated in having him for a teacher. … I felt cold towards him. I had no contempt in superiority. Only a hunger for new experience … Lestat was of no use.” pg 29, ebook. Or later with Claudia: “I even conceived a savage jealousy of the dollmaker to whom she’d confided her request for that tinkling diminutive lady, because that dollmaker had for a moment given her something which she held close to herself in my presence as if I were not there at all.” pg 176, ebook. On and on it goes. Lestat doesn’t understand him. Lestat’s a boor. Lestat this, Lestat that. Claudia’s out of control. Claudia too much like Lestat, Claudia’s too much like him…. Louis has eternity to explore the world and everything in it, and he chooses to hang out with the two people who makes him nuts. But, I hear you say, Lestat created him so he had control over him and he couldn’t leave Claudia because she was like an eternal child, wasn’t she? As the story unfolds, we discover that separation was possible. Louis was simply too “sensitive” to do what was necessary.

Anyway, between the whining, the incomplete background information, and black/white view of good and evil, I did not enjoy Interview with the Vampire nearly as much as I had hoped I would. Perhaps I will revise my view if I read the rest of the series, but just thinking about digging into it makes me feel tired so I’m not sure that I’ll ever get that. Maybe I was ruined on this book by reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels, which I surprisingly loved (until the painfully awful final ones, skip those). Jump into Charlaine Harris’ novels for some vampire brain candy, save Anne Rice for the more serious, contemplative mood as it is considered a classic and beloved by many- just not me.

I plan to watch the film now and do a comparative review with the book. I watched it a long time ago too and can’t really recall it at all, but my Goodreads friends seem to think that it was better than the novel. We’ll see. 🙂 Thanks for reading!

Farewell, 2016!

What a year! Thank you to everyone on Goodreads (and WordPress!) for sharing their reads and giving me a safe space to write my thoughts. I look forward to seeing what everyone gets up in 2017!

Speaking of next year, I have some big news. After almost five years as a public librarian, I am starting a new job as a news assistant at a major local newspaper. It is an incredibly bittersweet move because I absolutely loved being a librarian, but I find myself ready for new challenges and, honestly, a full time position, which was not available at the library. I will continue to read and review as much as I am able, but you may not see me on here as much as 2016.

And that’s ok. I also may change my online name to Heidi the Hippie or I may just leave the librarian moniker because, in my heart, I will always be a librarian. Now, I’ll have a slightly different Help Desk and new duties, but, it will always be a part of who I am. That’s just how it is.

May your holidays and New Year be filled with awesome new books to read. Peace and love to you all!

Heidi’s Best of 2016 (not necessarily published in 2016, but read by me this year)
Overall favorite: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Best Self Help: Every Breath You Take: How to Breathe Your Way to a Mindful Life

Funniest: How to Be Dull: Standing Out Next to Genius

Best Non-Fiction: Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners or Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen

Non-Fiction I Thought I Wouldn’t Like but Did: Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis

Most Overrated: Me & Earl & the Dying Girl

Favorite Book Club Pick: The Sound of Gravel

Best Fantasy: The Golem and the Jinni or A Monster Calls

Most Disconcerting: Marie Antoinette’s Darkest Days: Prisoner No. 280 in the Conciergerie

Most Polarizing: Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis

Most Inspirational: Thank & Grow Rich: A 30-Day Experiment in Shameless Gratitude and Unabashed Joy

Best Graphic Novel: Descender, Volume 1: Tin Stars

Strong Female Role Model: Running with a Police Escort: Tales from the Back of the Pack