Slutever: Dispatches from a Sexually Autonomous Woman in a Post-Shame World by Karley Sciortino

“Without question, if I weren’t a slutty as I am, my life thus far would have been far less interesting. … But my sluttiness has also been the cause of many existential bathroom-mirror moments.” pg 8, ebook

Karley Sciortino, sex blogger and author, has led a self-described colorful life. It certainly comes through in this tell-all memoir.

Through her experiences, Sciortino has proudly embraced her sexuality and her place in society as a woman who knows what she wants in the bedroom, and takes it. This hasn’t been a simple path.

Part of her struggles are society’s views and programming about “slutty” women.

“It’s a no-brainer that we’re influenced by the people and stories that make up the culture around us. And it’s difficult to cite an example, either real or fictional, of a happy, healthy, promiscuous person – let alone a woman.” pg 8, ebook

The rest of her difficulties seem to stem from a lack of self knowledge or awareness. Sciortino isn’t afraid to tackle any and all issues head on in her own unique way.

“…my goal isn’t to be good or normal or accepted. My goal is to be free. (And maybe also to troll society a bit in the process, for good measure.)” pg 12, ebook

Photo by Nina Uhlu00edkovu00e1 on Pexels.com

It took me a couple chapters to get into this memoir. Sciortino’s writing style is frank to the point it sometimes feels abrasive, but it maintains an honest delivery throughout.

“My biggest revelation of the saga was that group sex is amazing for when you’re drunk, because you can just take a time-out whenever you’re bored or tired and someone else will literally take over for you. Genius.” pg 24, ebook

The early part of the book is fixated on sexual experiences and experimentation. As she delves deeper into her underlying motivations and psychology, Sciortino begins to get to the heart of matters. That’s when I felt this book became worth the read.

She had me asking myself some difficult questions: Why is sexuality such a complex issue? Why should people, in the privacy of their own homes and with proper consent, care what others think?

Why are there different standards for men and women?

And why is sexuality, which can play such a large part of the happiness in our lives, so difficult to talk about? (For some, not Sciortino, obviously.)

Recommended for mature readers who don’t mind a nearly stream-of-consciousness style of writing as well as a thick skin to push through Sciortino’s delivery to get to the meaning behind the words – because there is meaning to be found.

Thanks for reading!

The Dragon Behind the Glass: A True Story of Power, Obsession, and the World’s Most Coveted Fish by Emily Voigt

The Dragon Behind the Glass documents journalist Emily Voigt‘s descent down the rabbit hole of fish collecting, money, power, and scientific exploration in some of the most remote locations in the world.

“A pair of whiskers juts from its lower lip, and two gauzy pectoral fins extend from its sides, suggesting a dragon in flight. This resemblance has led to the belief that the fish brings prosperity and good fortune, acting as a protective talisman to ward off evil and harm.”

(Fish pictured below is not an arowana.)

Photo by Chevanon Photography on Pexels.com

Though it starts off with a major hook, Voigt takes the reader to a crime scene where a pet store owner appears to have been killed for his shelf of rare fish, the book begins to meander after that and never gets back to the compelling pace of the opening.

That is not to say there aren’t some fascinating history and fish-related trivia tidbits. In fact, the majority of the book consists of that.

“… the keeping of pets reflects our hunger for status symbols, for what the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called the ‘carnal, clinging, humble, organic, milky taste of the creature,’ which underlies all luxury goods. The modern pet shop first appeared in American cities in the 1890s; and with it began the mass importation of exotic animals from Asia and South America.” pg 21, ebook.

Voigt explores the history of aquariums, pet-crazes throughout history, and the ascendance of the arowana as the pet fish of choice in the East. Complicating matters, the arowana has become incredibly rare in the wild, partially due to its desirability among collectors, but also because of the destruction of its native habitat.

“The most highly coveted – or at least the traditional favorite – is the legendary Super Red, native to a single remote lake system in the heart of Borneo. … As late as 2008, researchers with Conservation International reported that rural Cambodians were still eating greens, even as wild populations plummeted due to over-harvesting for the aquarium trade.” pg 30, ebook

Like other rare and precious commodities, the interest and money surrounding the arowana has led to some shady dealings. I wasn’t too surprised by the alleged criminal activity Voigt describes among collectors. But I was flabbergasted by the fierce competition among some scientists in the rush to catalog and name the increasingly rare fish.

Perhaps that’s naive of me. Scholars jockey for prestige as much as anyone else. I suppose I’ve never stopped to think about it.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I was also surprised by how many species are out there that science has not studied yet.

“When I first set out to report on the Asian arowana, I figured I would start by finding the researcher studying the species in the wild- only to realize no such person exists. The popular illusion that modern science has the entire living world covered, that there is an expert analyzing every crevice, is far from true.” pg 205, ebook

Recommended for readers who are interested in a detailed study of fish, travel and history. It’s a slow-paced adventure, and not for everyone, but there are some treasures to be found if you stick with it.

Thanks for reading!

Pogue’s Basics: Life: Essential Tips and Shortcuts (That No One Bothers to Tell You) for Simplifying Your Day by David Pogue

David Pogue and his team tested every suggestion in this book to verify that each works the way it is supposed to.

The result is a gem.

“… the morsels in this book describe features hidden right under our noses, features that lots of people don’t know about. As well as ‘Everyone’s been using it wrong’ insights. Plus tips that are clever, unexpected, and useful.” pgs 5-6

I knew some of the tips in these pages, but certainly not all of them.

When I’m done with this book, I’m going to gift it to my pre-teen, who thinks she knows everything but obviously doesn’t. I think she’ll find this incredibly handy in a few years.

“A pot of water doesn’t boil over if you lay a wooden spoon across the top of the pot.” pg 81

Who knew? I didn’t. That’s one of the tips I’ve already used to make my life easier.

I’ve also utilized the tip for how to get ketchup out of the bottom of the bottle. And no, it’s not leaving it upside down and leaning against something for two hours though that does work. It is a much more immediate solution.

Some of the technology tips may be outdated, only because this book was printed in 2015. But I haven’t tested them all yet, so don’t hold me to it. It’s one small section in a stellar lineup of life “basics” that cover topics including the car, travel, food, clothes, your body, animals, house and home, and more.

Highly recommended for anybody who’s looking to make their lives a little bit simpler. Let’s be honest then, that’s everybody.

Thanks for reading!

The Seep by Chana Porter

Warning: minor spoilers ahead that are listed in the book’s description on Goodreads. Do not read this review if you don’t want to know anything about the book’s plot before beginning it.

“They would soon realize that The Seep had already infiltrated their city’s water supply. They were already compromised, already bodily hosts to their new alien friends. It was through that connection they could hear one another’s thoughts, feel the same emotions, overlaid with the all-consuming adage that Everything Will Be All Right, No Matter What.” pg 10, ebook

The Seep by Chana Porter asks many questions like: what would humanity and society look like if thoughts could actually create reality, if physical material was permeated with the spiritual, if enlightenment was only a sip or two of alien-filled water away?

How would people live, work and raise their children? What would relationships look like? And how would it feel to adults who grew up with a whole other version of reality only to spend the last half of their lives in a world, that to them, feels turned upside-down?

Would they embrace it, fight against it or choose another as-yet unknown path?

Trina, a trans-woman from the time before alien technology, when humanity changed genders with surgery and hormone therapy, is in a happy and fulfilling marriage with her wife, Deeba, until the day when Deeba decides she wants to become a child and live her life again. She asks Trina to be her mother in this second life, still sharing her reality but in an entirely different way than as a lover. This desire is something that is within the realm of the possible now thanks to the alien invasion called, “The Seep”.

Trina does not take this revelation well.

“It felt akin to coming home one day to find that your wife had become a hawk, with dusty talons and a great golden eye. Your hawk-wife can’t live with you anymore. She wants to live in the sky and eat smaller birds, not drink coffee and read the newspaper in bed with you.” pg 26, ebook

The majority of this book reveals how Trina adjusts to her new reality.

“The main message I have for you today is that we don’t yet know what to call ourselves, as both human beings and symbionts of The Seep.” pg 46, ebook

I think this book does a good job, like other science fiction novels, of holding up a mirror to reality and saying, what if. It also makes a great metaphor for how older generations might feel out of touch with the generations who come after them.

Prior to the alien invasion, Trina was on the leading edge of society in both her self actualization and lifestyle. After, she feels abandoned in a landscape that no longer makes sense and unloved by the people in her life she valued the most.

There’s a palpable sense of isolation and ever-increasing paranoia in this story. If the aliens exist on a level of conscious thought, they know what you want before you even voice it. It’s disturbing, but with technology increasing the pace of life and guessing consumers’ wants and needs before they even know, how far off the mark are we from that sort of interaction, really.

Highly recommended for readers who enjoy short science fiction that makes you think.

Making Sense of Nonsense: The Logical Bridge Between Science & Spirituality by Raymond Moody

“A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.” ― Anonymous

Raymond Moody, renown researcher of near death experiences (NDEs), has spent decades codifying and categorizing nonsense, proving it has a structure. Through his endeavors, Moody hopes nonsense, spoken by those who experience NDEs or upon their death beds, may be analyzed in order to provide another avenue of exploration into humanity’s experience after death.

It may sound like a load of nonsense, but I promise it is anything but. 🙂

Photo by Produtora Midtrack on Pexels.com

“Nonsense itself affects people positively, but the word ‘nonsense’ affects people negatively. That is, people like nonsense itself, but they dislike the word ‘nonsense.’ … they associate the word ‘nonsense’ with one common negative effect of involuntary nonsense: specifically, errors.” pg 13

It is not the accuracy of the utterance that researchers are examining, instead, it is the structure of the language itself.

In a class on this topic, Moody says his students learned to identify and write seventy different types of nonsense. (Who knew there were so many!) Once you know the forms, you’ll be able to do the same.

Why is this useful if you’re not a NDE researcher? Not only is nonsense regularly utilized in poetry, plays, television shows and other forms of entertainment, Moody shows examples of nonsense in religious texts, alchemical writings, advertising and more.

“My sense of nonsense has been an indispensable asset during my career as a medical doctor and psychiatrist, for it often helps me make sense of someone’s unique inner experience.” pg 105

And he’s right. Since finishing this book, I’ve become aware of how often nonsense is bandied about in both daily conversations I have with friends and family as well as in the Netflix shows I watch.

It’s not only used for communication and art. Moody claims nonsense goes a step further, providing a link to other mystical states of mind.

“Talking nonsense to people makes them experience a curious, hard-to-describe alternate state of consciousness. In sum, nonsense is an alternate state of language that can induce an alternate state of consciousness.” pg 125

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So, babble away, my friends. If anybody says anything negative about it, tell them you’re conducting a science experiment and you won’t just be talking nonsense. 🙂

“It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense.” ― Mark Twain

Thanks for reading!

The Spiritual Gift of Madness: The Failure of Psychiatry and the Rise of the Mad Pride Movement by Seth Farber

In The Spiritual Gift of Madness, Seth Farber interviews half a dozen people who have had negative experiences with western psychology as well as experts in mental health. His thesis is the mental health system as it is values medication over other types of therapy and, because of this misguided focus, harms the very people it is attempting to help.

He is a champion of the Mad Pride movement, a group that seeks to celebrate and assist those suffering from mental health issues to embrace who they are rather than medicating it away.

“… helping the mad does not mean drugging or coaxing them into a state of “adjustment,” but rather appreciating the state of madness for what it is: an existential clearing in the jungle of our insane modern society that potentially leads into the realm of true sanity, which, in the world today, means a state of creative maladjustment.” pg 124

I should mention that Farber doesn’t use “mad” in a negative way, rather he uses it to highlight how individuals with different viewpoints from the rest of society are marginalized and sedated into silence. He puts forward the idea that insanity is believing everyone must view the world in the same manner or be ostracized for it. He holds up society’s repeated failures to handle issues like global warming to racial and gender equality as evidence of the insanity of the world.

“Now one of the things that’s so detrimental about the hospitalization is the power impact of being treated like a patient – people end up believing they’re chronically mentally ill.” pg 44

Farber believes mental illness is a transition to a new, potentially powerful state of being that, as a modern society, we quash before it’s completed. He points out that many of the great prophets and visionaries from history had, what we would now call, complete breakdowns before their epic breakthroughs.

“… a few weeks of mania could give one access to a sense of understanding that it could take ‘years of meditation’ to achieve, access to visions of ‘the wholeness’ of the universe and ‘the interconnected nature of love, access to a sense of time and space that allows one to discern what is and what is not important.'” pg 21

Instead of medication and psychiatric facilities, Farber would like to see the creation of safe havens for people going through this process so they could assimilate whatever is going on in their minds before going back to the rest of society. That would be for the experiencer’s protection as well as the public.

I think Farber brings up important issues in this book. As someone who has struggled with mental illness, I’ve viewed the system from the inside and recognize some of the problems he points out. There’s the stigma of the diagnosis and the embarrassment of feeling separated from “normal”. There’s the expectation you will take your meds from the day you’re labeled until you die, no matter the side effects.

But, worst of all, is feeling like you can’t trust what’s going on in your head because it went so spectacularly wrong before and what’s to prevent it from going sideways again.

I agree some changes need to be made to the system and, as a society, perhaps we can do a better job minimizing stigma, maximizing communication, and helping people live in a happy and healthy manner that they choose.

However, I feel like Farber goes too far in his insistence that the “mad” are the future. That somehow they hold the keys to a paradise on earth if only we’d let them share their messages unfettered.

In the midst of my psychosis in 2009, I wouldn’t have wanted any of the nightmares in my head to permanently affect my future or my family. If there are lessons to be learned from it, maybe it’s an individual message for the people undergoing the change rather than expecting it to be universal lessons, applicable for everyone.

But, that’s my two cents. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but The Spiritual Gift of Madness asks some interesting questions.

Recommended for seekers who are interested in a different way to both approach and treat those with mental illnesses or for those who have gone “through the looking glass” and are now viewing the world from the other side, like me and the people in this book and many, many others.

Thanks for reading!

To Me, He Was Just Dad: Stories of Growing Up with Famous Fathers by Joshua David Stein

To Me, He Was Just Dad is a collection of essays written by the grown children of famous or otherwise notable men. From scientists to musicians, actors to drug lords, the vocations of the featured fathers runs the gamut. There’s even one Catholic priest.

“How wide, we wondered, is the gap between what the public thinks of notable men and what the sons or daughters of those men experience? Do great men make for great fathers?” pg 6

The essays themselves are intimate portraits into the private lives of all of these people who, because of their success at whatever they chose to do, the world acts like we already “know.” The fascinating part of this book is how little we know them at all.

We venerate famous people. This book is a great reminder that, at the end of the day, they’re just people and put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us.

Though, admittedly, some are much more talented at cooking eggs, like Claudine Pepin’s dad, the famed chef, Jacques Pepin: “I feel like Papa taught half of America how to make an omelet. He taught me how to make an omelet, too, and also how to walk, ski, and drive (that one was a touch stressful). But one of the most important things he taught me was how to be part of a deep and enduring friendship.” pg 35

Fame is such a strange lens. Through it, some qualities are magnified while others are lost in the glare.

The same is true for infamy. The two who stuck out to me in that particular category were “My Father the Cult Leader, Saul B. Newton” and “My Father the Drug Lord, Pablo Escobar“.

Here’s Newton’s daughter, Esther: “My dad was an amazing, complicated, brilliant individual. It was important to me that he wasn’t remembered only as a nutjob with a cult.” pg 52

Escobar’s son remembers how his father, the drug lord, implored him not to do drugs. He also recalled living much of his early life on the run.

I think the small details add such dimension to these famous lives.

Take, for example, the fact that Evel Knievel, of daredevil fame, didn’t want any of his children to follow in his footsteps because he thought it was going to get them killed. It was fine for him to risk his life, but not ok for his beloved children.

Makes you view him just a little bit differently, doesn’t it? He seems like a multi-dimensional individual to me now and not just a fearless dude on a motorcycle.

Highly recommended for non-fiction readers. This book is a treat.

Thanks for reading!

Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything by Lydia Kang

Quackery taught me that people have been desperately seeking cures for ailments, real and perceived, for ages. Sometimes that search takes them into disgusting or deadly treatments peddled by others who are taking advantage of that desperation for their own gain.

These human vultures have been called “quacks,” among other things.

“But quackery isn’t always about pure deception. Though the term is usually defined as the practice and promotion of intentionally fraudulent medical treatments, it also includes situations when people are touting what they truly believe works.” pg 1

Unfortunately, even those selling the “remedies” with the best of intentions still managed to kill people.

There seemed to be no end to the creative ways we’ve poisoned each other with various metals or concocted deadly and addicting brews in the name of health. We’ve burnt and blistered suffering unfortunates, taken pieces of their skull out to let the evil spirits out of their brains, or ground up human bone and ingested it.

The most disturbing chapter of this book, and there were some serious contenders, was the part about the development of anesthesia.

“Several chapters in the annals of anesthesia were written by some hard-partying, borderline sociopathic characters. So the next time you blissfully awaken from a surgery, remember to thank the child-stranglers, sponge-huffers, and ether frolickers of the past.”

Yeah, there have been some awful things done to both animals and people in the name of medicinal research.

The most amusing anecdote in Quackery goes to a section about creative uses of tobacco.

Photo by Aphiwat chuangchoem on Pexels.com

“You know the phrase ‘blowing smoke up your ass’? Well, you can disgust your next blind date with the true life medical origin of that phrase. Because literally blowing smoke up someone’s ass was a sanctioned resuscitation method in the eighteenth century.”

And now you know.

Recommended for readers with a strong stomach who are interested in strange and forgotten medical history.

My book club read this for our June pick but I missed the meeting. I expect an extraordinary conversation was had by all because this book is full of fascinating and disturbing topics of all sorts.

Thanks for reading!

Eight Skilled Gentlemen (The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox, #3) by Barry Hughart

“My experience with the old man has taught me to keep my mouth shut when the wrinkles around his eyes squeeze up in tight concentric circles, so I waited until his mind relaxed along with the wrinkles, and then he shook himself and turned toward me.” “Ox, have you ever visited the Forbidden City?”

Eight Skilled Gentlemen is the final book of The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox series. I feel it missed the mark somewhat.

Like the previous two books, it has some beautiful imagery and fantastical magic sequences based in an ancient fictional China of Barry Hughart, the author’s, own creation. As usual, I liked the interactions between our two heroes. I also liked riding along while Master Li and Ox attempt to solve the murder mystery.

“All we can do now is go down that list of involved mandarins and find the weak link. You may have you break a few of the bastard’s bones, my boy, but one way or another he’s going to enable us to toss the rest of them in jail,” the sage said grimly.”

Unlike the rest of the series, the overarching story for this entry felt scattered, so much so, that the ending felt almost tacked on. Which seems like a harsh criticism, except those final scenes were my favorite of the book.

If only it had felt more connected to the rest of the tale…

Like some of the other readers of this series, I noticed some repetition in Hughart’s storytelling by the third book. Formulaic can still be brilliant, but I’m not certain this book reached that bar.

There was also Hughart’s unfortunate tendency to have his characters launch into song or prose within the story. This should have added to the immersive feeling of the reading experience, but I found myself skimming when I reached those sections. Again, it felt more repetitive this time around than magical.

Adding to my disappointment, Eight Skilled Gentlemen was clearly supposed to be part of a longer series. The final few lines of the book offer no satisfying conclusion for characters whom I have come to love during the 850 pages I spent with them.

The little bit I have researched about the author seems to indicate Hughart had a disagreement with his publisher and then tired of writing it. He passed away in August of last year.

It is incredibly sad because the books are so lovely and Hughart deserved the chance to finish them in a manner he saw fit. I think it’s a loss not just for the author’s family but for the entire fantasy-reading world.

In conclusion, if you haven’t read this series and like fantasy, you must give it a try. Just be aware it is a work of art with an abrupt end.

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: book blog

Slutever: Dispatches from a Sexually Autonomous Woman in a Post-Shame World by Karley Sciortino

The Dragon Behind the Glass: A True Story of Power, Obsession, and the World’s Most Coveted Fish by Emily Voigt

Pogue’s Basics: Life: Essential Tips and Shortcuts (That No One Bothers to Tell You) for Simplifying Your Day by David Pogue

The Seep by Chana Porter

Making Sense of Nonsense: The Logical Bridge Between Science & Spirituality by Raymond Moody

The Spiritual Gift of Madness: The Failure of Psychiatry and the Rise of the Mad Pride Movement by Seth Farber

To Me, He Was Just Dad: Stories of Growing Up with Famous Fathers by Joshua David Stein

Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything by Lydia Kang

Eight Skilled Gentlemen (The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox, #3) by Barry Hughart

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