The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker

The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker

golemandjinniThis is the story of a golem and a jinni, how they discover who they are, their strengths, their weaknesses, and how, even though they’re composed of completely different elements, they may just be the best friend for each other in a human world where they will never truly belong.

As I was reading The Golem and the Jinni, enjoying their adventures and waiting to see how they would discover their origins, I didn’t consider for a moment the idea that the tale could be a metaphor for something else.

When I read the Q&A with the author at the end of the book, I was really kicking myself. Of course, it made total sense as a metaphor for cultural differences. And, when I thought about it that way, I liked the story even more.

On the other hand, this tale can be completely enjoyed and interpreted as a historical fiction/fairytale and, if you’re not in the mood to think any deeper than that, it doesn’t matter, because it’s still awesome. So, it’s a win/win book for the deep thinkers and the no-thinkers.

The Golem and the Jinni is not a fast read. Wecker really builds the characters and gives the back story for everybody who comes across the page.

At first I was like, “Do we really need to know the ice cream guy’s life story?” and I was getting frustrated with the pacing of it. But, as her characters came together and their lives began to intertwine, I began to appreciate the true artistry of the novel.

It is like an orchestral fugue in which the instruments play their themes one by one at the beginning, which is beautiful, but when the tones combine, it lifts the piece to a whole other place. That is The Golem and the Jinni. Give it the time and space to build the characters and you will be blown away by the ending. At least, I was.

Wecker has a talent for creating multi-layered characters. Though the golem is only a few hours old, the author manages to instill in her a childlike curiosity mixed with the timelessness of a magical creature.

In this passage, the golem is seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time: “The deck was crowded with people, and at first the Golem didn’t see what they were waving at. But then, there she was: a gray-green woman standing in the middle of the water, holding a tablet and bearing aloft a torch. Her gaze was unblinking, and she stood so still: was it another golem? … And those on deck were waving and shouting at her with jubilation, crying even as they smiled. This, too, the Golem thought, was a constructed woman. Whatever she meant to the others, she was loved and respected for it. For the first time… the Golem felt something like hope. pg 17 ebook.

She also describes scenes just beautifully. In this passage, the Jinni sees New York harbor: “The Jinni leaned against the railing, transfixed by the view. He was a creature of the desert, and never in his life had he come so close to this much water. It lapped at the stone below his feet, reaching now higher, now lower. Muted colors floated on its surface, and afternoon sunlight reflecting in the ever-changing dips of the waves. Still it was hard to believe that this was not some expert illusion, intended to befuddle him. At any moment he expected the city and water to dissolve, to be replaced by the familiar steppes and plateaus of the Syrian Desert, his home for close to two hundred years.” pg 23 ebook

I loved the little, let’s call them “wisdom nuggets,” that Wecker sprinkled throughout the story. Like: “A man might desire something for a moment, while a larger part of him rejects it. You’ll need to learn to judge people by their actions, not their thoughts.” pg 40 ebook. Or: “Men need no reason to cause mischief, only an excuse!” pg 172 ebook.

I also connected with this passage where the Jinni is thinking about the power of names: “To him the new name suggested that the changes he’d undergone were so drastic, so pervasive, that he was no longer the same being at all. He tried not to dwell on such dark thoughts, and instead concentrated on speaking politely, and maintaining his story- but every so often, as he listened to the chatter of yet more visitors, he spoke his true name to himself in the back of his mind, and took comfort in the sound.” pg 68 ebook.

I recommend The Golem and the Jinni for folks who enjoy historical fiction blended with fantasy, folks who love deep characters, and for anyone who loves to read beautiful prose. This book has all of that.

Thanks for reading!

The History Major by Michael Phillip Cash

The History Major by Michael Phillip Cash

Something strange happened last night, but Amanda can’t remember what it was. She’s terribly hung over and she knows that she fought with her boyfriend, but that doesn’t explain why her roommate isn’t the person she remembers or why she can’t see out the window. Why does she feel like something is watching her and why does the university campus not look like it did yesterday? And, so starts The History Major.

Discovering what is going on is part of the fun of this short story, so I’d suggest stopping here if you have any intention of reading this yourself. Thank you to NetGalley for a free copy of this short story for review purposes.  ***Please do not read beyond this point to avoid spoilers!!  Warning… Warning!!***

For those that either have read it or are not going to read it… let’s discuss!

So, I feel as if this story, like life some would say, is all about consciousness. How aware are you of your internal worlds? Does our history define us or do we decide what has meaning? Is there such thing as the collective unconscious? And, the biggest question of all, what happens to consciousness after death?

The author begins with Amanda feeling paranoid and it sets the stage for the whole thing: “Her skin prickled again; she felt the sensation of being watched. Amanda turned around and walked backward, looking across the vast estate for the intrusive eyes. The wind ruffled the leaves. Amanda paused, searching for the discordant thing that pulled at her, but there was nothing out of place. She searched but couldn’t find the cause of her uneasiness.” loc 206, ebook. There’s a general feeling of creepiness that never goes away. I didn’t really like that part of The History Major but readers of horror might really love it. Self discovery and self knowledge shouldn’t be scary. The various dream books that I’ve read say that the way to end nightmares is to stop running and face the monster. I feel like Amanda spends far too much time running, but then, I suppose, it wouldn’t make a very good story if she didn’t, would it? Amanda discovers monster, faces monster, and is ok after all.

Amanda is a sympathetic character. I think we’ve all been there: the day after having one too many and waking up to an “uh oh” feeling. She, fairly bravely, faces the first day of college even though she knows something is not right. She even takes her messed up schedule to the secretaries and tries to get them to change her classes. But, I didn’t like how reliant she is on her boyfriend. Given her childhood history (warning, if you are triggered by childhood molestation do not read this book), I can see how she turned out that way, but I wanted her to take the reigns of her life and go for it- not fret about if walking down the sidewalk with another man will make her boyfriend jealous.

I also did not like Death being personified as a monster or the fate of Nick. I don’t believe that Death is evil or comes at us with choking hands. I prefer to view it as a doorway to another reality. As for the “hell” vision for Nick, I think that hell is a state of mind and something that we create on earth, but, this is just my opinion.

“People are trapped in history, and history is trapped in them.” Loc 611, ebook. I thought that The History Major did a good job of using historical figures to help Amanda remember her present circumstances, but I thought that the “history” itself was given too much credit. For example, Amanda could have been watching the tv and been triggered into remembering her past by what came on the screen. Or, she could have taken an art class and been triggered by the works of art in the classroom… there are many topics that could have led to her epiphany.

So, that was my beef with this book: the frightening aspect of searching the subconscious mind, the co-dependent heroine, the nasty personification of Death and the hellish afterlife, and the reliance on historical figures who, when you consider it more closely, have very little to do with what actually happened to Amanda. But, even saying all those things, I read this short story in one sitting and was really interested to see where the author was taking it. Pick up The History Major if you’re interested in a short, metaphysical read. If you’re looking for more in-depth books about any of the history that appears in this story try: Blood & Beauty: the Borgias by Sarah Dunant or Joan of Arc: a History by Helen Castor.

Thanks for reading!

The Guild by Felicia Day

The Guild by Felicia Day

The Guild is a graphic novel prequel for the internet series of the same name.  I think it is a must-read for fans of Day’s show and gamers who haven’t seen the show may enjoy it too. Other readers may want to give this a pass as it deals almost exclusively with gaming or RL relationships through gaming.

As much as I enjoyed this book, I felt like Day missed a golden opportunity to present the show in a completely different way. Day could have written this as characters in “The Game” with only brief moments of RL intruding into it. It would have flipped the show on its head and, in graphic novel form, she wouldn’t have faced any production limitations. Can you imagine it? I absolutely could. Maybe that’s what she did in the next book? Here’s hoping.

The glimpses that we had of the backstories of the Guild’s characters was awesome and I couldn’t get enough of “The Game” itself. Pretty much any scene where they were in the digital world was amazing. I also loved how their avatars had their real life faces.

The “one camera confessional” scenes worked so well in show, but didn’t translate as fluidly in the book. I think the reason why it works in real life is the expressiveness of Day’s face as she talks her way through her problems. The panels in the book didn’t have that aliveness and sort of fell flat.

But, that small gripe aside, I really enjoyed this one and highly recommend it. Some other graphic novels that readers may enjoy: Nimona by Noelle Stevenson (fantasy world), Fray by Joss Whedon (fantasy world), or The Order of the Stick series by Rich Burlew (for board gamers and fans of DnD).

Thanks for reading!

Forest of Memory by Mary Robinette Kowal

Forest of Memory by Mary Robinette Kowal

Katya lives in a futuristic world where everyone and everything is linked to the web. Her AI speaks in her ear and fills her vision telling her about the people around her, their histories, past business deals, and anything that could be of interest to her in her job as an “Authenticities” (basically antiques) dealer. One day, on her way back from a purchase, she sees a man shoot a deer (very illegal) and realizes that her connection to the web has crashed, leaving her marooned in the real world with a potential maniac. What’s he doing and is she going to survive?

I see where Kowal was trying to take this novella, but it didn’t really work for me. She wrote as her narrator, trying to recount a story without the use of computers, which, in this world is particularly difficult as everyone in the future uses computers to remember anything, and shows her discomfort at her disconnected state by inserting misspellings and typos. But, she didn’t do this consistently… it was just random enough for me to forget that she was using this device and say to myself, “Typo!” and then remember that it was supposed to be there. So, it turned into this annoying distraction.

I was most interested in Katya’s job as an Authenticities dealer, but, when Kowal moved the story off the grid, that essentially removed that element. In this passage, Katya’s analyzing a typewriter: “It looked to be from the mid-twentieth century, though without picking it up or using my loupe, I couldn’t confirm that. The fine dust caked into the grooves around the base seemed real enough, though. Most people who print fakes know enough to add dust to make it seem older, but they usually put it on too thickly and without regard for the use patterns of everyday objects.” pg 7, ebook. The parts that I loved the most read like a futuristic Antiques Road Show, which would have been awesome if the story had continued along that vein.

The novella reached for depths that it never really explored, but this passage caught my attention: “It feels like he wanted me there to bear witness, but maybe it was just an opportunity that presented itself because I stopped. If I hadn’t, if I had biked on through, would I have known that this was a cusp point in my life? Probably not. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it, how many other cusp points you sail through in life without any awareness.” pg 11 ebook. I do wonder about that. Life seems to be a series of stumblings and fortunate events but is it really as random as it seems? If you take one road, instead of another, does it even matter? Aware or not, life unfolds… I don’t know. What do you think?

What ruined this short read for me was that I didn’t get the ending at all. I essentially had to go back and read it all again, but then I still had a moment of “Huh?” Katya describes my over-arching feelings well: “There were so few things that made sense about the whole experience; I’m not sure why I expected events to suddenly appear orderly and rational now.” pg 25, ebook

I do not recommend Forest of Memory unless you’re looking for a puzzling sci fi read that raises the question of reliance on AI at the expense of everything else. And, if you find deeper meaning in it than I did, please do explain it to me. Thanks for reading!

Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking entered my life at a particularly low moment.

Allow me to set the scene: I had been on vacation for a week and a half. We were in Colorado, visiting my husband’s family, some of whom I had met before, others whom I had not. I knew I wasn’t going to be entirely comfortable being around people the whole trip- I’m a huge introvert and I’m self aware enough to know that I need downtime, and quite a bit of it, to feel as if I’m functioning normally.

But I didn’t realize that my husband, who is just as introverted as I am and who I was counting on to help me through all of the introductions, dinners, conversations, etc, was going to immerse himself in Pokemon Go a majority of the time and essentially leave me to my own devices.

As Susan Cain would say, he found a “restorative niche” for himself in a digital world. It was hard on me as I didn’t have that escape.

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels.com

So, here we are, visiting a friend’s home and my daughter, who strangely enough is a huge extrovert (the exact opposite of her parents), is struggling. She’s tired, out-of-sorts, and throwing a sulk every ten minutes.

I’m meeting yet more people, trying to hold trite conversations, and steer my child, all the while just wanting to retreat into a cave and not talk to anyone for a very long time. Honestly, I felt that way before we reached the party, but things seemed to get much, much worse the moment we arrived.

It had been building over the course of the vacation, but that day, my internal clamor reached a boiling point. My husband was oblivious to my growing discomfort as he’s catching Pokemon, again. (I don’t mean to sound bitter here, but I suppose that I am.)

I had forced myself for ten days to be social, keep the smile on my face, keep everything flowing smoothly. To my horror, I realize that I am about to have a panic attack in the middle of this crowd of people, more than half of whom I don’t even know. I grab my keys and leave.

I drive a couple blocks away, castigating myself for not being able to handle it and just pissed because, once again, like many times in my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, I feel like I’m failing at life because I’m not a social butterfly.

Photo by Ryanniel Masucol on Pexels.com

I can’t stand to be around strangers for extended periods of time. I’ve always been this way- overly sensitive to others, noise, motion, events. I really dislike groups, parties, places where I have to circulate with a bunch of people who don’t know me or care about anything that I have to say.

The tears fell down my cheeks as I opened up my tablet and began reading this book. And I discovered that about half of all people are just like me.

Thank you, Susan Cain. Your book gave me the courage to drive back to my friend’s house and face the rest of the evening. I am not a pariah. I am an introvert and perhaps I can do a better job figuring out when I’ve reached my socializing limits before I meltdown.

Many of the positive attributes of introverts which Susan describes, I have, I’ve just never considered them as worth the trade-off of the extroverted personality.

I notice small details, have a great memory for conversations and events, long past the time when others forget such things. I think carefully about problems and people, devoting time to taking apart small nuances of books and movies, that other people don’t even consider, which makes me a good reviewer of media- perfect for my job as a librarian.

Susan nailed my general feeling about myself in the introduction: “Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.” pg 34 ebook. Yes!

My role at the reference desk calls for an extroverted personality but I muddle through it, because I care about the job and helping others. Usually, I come home from work, totally worn out and in need of quiet time to unwind.

Susan helped me understand that sometimes “faking it” is worth it, if it for a cause that means something to you and that others do the exact same thing that I do.

Pull out the mask for the job, but then allow yourself the freedom to be who you really are at home: “According to Free Trait Theory, we are born and culturally endowed with certain personality traits- introversion, for example- but we can and do act out of character in the service of “core personal projects.” In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” pg 391 ebook.

My favorite parts of the book were about sensitivity and social situations. Take this passage: “…maybe we didn’t choose … social accessories at random. Maybe we’ve adopted dark glasses, relaxed body language, and alcohol as signifiers precisely because they camouflage signs of a nervous system on overdrive. Sunglasses prevent others from seeing our eyes dilate with surprise or fear; we know from Kagan’s work that a relaxed torso is a hallmark of low reactivity; and alcohol removes our inhibitions and lowers our arousal levels. When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer, says the personality psychologist Brian Little, “they’re really saying hi, have a glass of extroversion.” pg 277 ebook.

I may use that in my life. “Please hand me that glass of extroversion.”

I also really enjoyed learning the differences in thinking: “Introverts and extroverts also direct their attention differently: if you leave them to their own devices, the introverts tend to sit around wondering about things, imagining things, recalling events from their past, and making plans for the future. The extroverts are more likely to focus on what’s happening around them. It’s as if extroverts are seeing “what is” while their introverted peers are asking “what if.”pg 323 ebook. Yeah, I do that too.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It saved an evening for me, but more importantly, it changed the way that I view myself. There is power in knowing that you’re not alone. Again, thank you, Susan Cain. Some read-alikes: The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World by Sophia Dembling (for introversion) or Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson (for more instances of social anxiety).

Thank you for reading!

Railsea by China Miéville

Railsea by China Miéville

“This is the story of a bloodstained boy.” That’s the first line of this strange and fantastical tale of giant creatures that “swim” in the earth’s soil and the brave and flawed “molers” who chase them for profit and life purpose. Miéville has created a dystopian world covered in railway ties with skies poisoned by chemicals and filled with monstrous, alien creatures who feast on those who get too close. But, there may just be something beyond the rails, if the characters in this story are determined and lucky enough to see their way through to the end of the world… Though based off of the tale of Moby Dick, Railsea is an engaging adventure and coming of age story that reads like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. Miéville has blended together steampunk, dytopian, and fantasy elements to create something completely different.

Sham is a boy on the cusp of manhood who can’t quite figure out what he wants to do with his adulthood: “Sham felt sure there was something he fervently wanted to do & to which he was excellently suited. Which made the more frustrating that he could not say what it was. Too vague about his interests for further study; too cautious in company, perhaps a little bruised by less-than-stellar school days, to thrive in sales or service; too young & sluggish to excel at heavy work: Sham’s tryings-out of various candidate activities left him het up.” pg 36, ebook. Anyone who has ever been lost about what path to follow in life will be able to empathize with Sham.

Miéville’s story, like Moby Dick has layers of meaning built into it: “Edging such places is the railseaside, called the littoral zone. Those are the shorelands. Port towns, from where transport, freight & hunting trains set out. Where lighthouses light ways past rubbish reefs breaking earth. “Give me the inland or give me the open rails,” say both the railsailor & the landlubber, “only spare me the littoral-minded.” pg 51 ebook. Clever, no? A warning, if you don’t enjoy reads where the author makes up words to tell the story, you may want to skip Railsea. There’s a bunch of creative adjectives and nouns mixed up in this one.

The religions of this world were a fascinating too. I wish Miéville had explored them more: “He muttered in his head to That Apt Ohm, the great rotund boss-god, one of the few deities worshipped across the railsea, whatever the peculiarities of local pantheons. Bollons was ecumenical, granted church-licences to any deities whose worshippers could pay the fees. But the disrespectful worship of That Apt Ohm was taken more seriously there, pursued with more verve, than at most stops on the railsea. Sham had no idea quite what, if anything, he believed, but there seemed little harm in a quick silent word with one of the few gods whose name he remembered.” pg 100, ebook.

Part of the homage to Moby Dick, finding a captain’s “philosophy”: “How many of these philosophies were out there? Not every captain of the Stereggeye Lands had one, but a fair proportion grew into a close antipathy-cum-connection with one particular animal, which they came to realise or decide-to decidalise-embodied meanings, potentialities, ways of looking at the world. At a certain point, & it was hard to be exact but you knew it when you saw it, the usual cunning thinking about professional prey switched onto a new rail & became something else- a faithfulness to an animal that was now a world-view.” pg 130 ebook. What’s your white mole?

I enjoyed Railsea but I can see how this writer might not be for everyone. He uses fragmented sentences and ampersands (&) to move the story along. The chapters are incredibly short which also kept the pace rolling but it could also be viewed as making the novel choppy. Sometimes, Miéville breaks through the fourth wall and addresses the reader directly. I thought that device was charming, conjuring up images in my mind of storytellers sitting in front of the fire or at a pub. But, again, this may not work for everyone.

Some read-alikes for Railsea: Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness or Under the Empyrean Sky by Chuck Wendig.  Thanks for reading!

Princeless, Volume 4: Be Yourself by Jeremy Whitley

Princeless, Volume 4: Be Yourself by Jeremy Whitley

Dear readers, there are some spoilers in this review, but they’re necessary for a thorough discussion of the comic.  Please, if you haven’t read this one yet, go pick it up from your local library and then come back to this review.  Thank you 🙂

The Princeless series continues to deliver strong female characters, beautiful (child appropriate) artwork, and storylines with meaning. Each time Adrienne and Bedelia venture out to rescue one of Adrienne’s sisters, a facet of relationships is dissected and examined. This volume dealt with abusive relationships and gender roles in government.

Now, it’s not that cut and dry on the surface- the story itself is really fun and engaging. Adrienne and Bedelia have to survive a cannibalistic tribe of goblins in a monster infested swamp in order to reach Angoisse’s tower. On the way, they befriend unlikely allies and encounter a plant-like terror.

While this is going on, Adrienne’s brother, Devin, refuses to embrace traditional gender roles and activities, which continues to infuriate his tyrannical father. Their relationship illustrates the eternal struggle between parent and child. Parents think they know better and push their child in the direction they believe they should go, while children want to follow their natural inclinations. In the push-pull dynamic, somehow everything works out fine, but with more bad feelings on either side than there need to be.

The abusive relationship portion is tactfully presented in the interactions between Angoisse and Raphael. Sometimes people act a certain way because they want something out of you, other than your company. Kids get it. But in an era of Twilight idealization, I think the presentation of a “vampire” who acts out of self-interest rather than undying love is an important topic to discuss.

Teen relationships are just as thorny and prone to abuse as adult relationships and, because they are some of the first experiences that teens have, they have the potential to color the rest of that person’s lifetime and set the stage for the relationships to come.

Angoisse is a victim of Raphael but also her own beliefs. She’s always thought that she needed a man to complete her and she was going to do whatever it took to keep that relationship intact, even to the point of giving up her humanity or betraying her own family.

It didn’t take a very smart predator to see that she could be manipulated through her feelings. Sadly, such people actually exist. Thank you, Princeless for opening a door to the discussion of how to remain true to yourself in relationships and a powerful example of how to leave the ones that have soured.

The story is not too complex and adult readers may find it rather simplistic (unless you dig deeper into the underlying meaning), but it’s perfect for the 8 to 12 year olds. This comic will appeal to reluctant readers of either gender. I highly recommend it.

Thank you for reading!

Miss Jane by Brad Watson

Miss Jane by Brad Watson

Confession time: I picked this one up because of the cover. I do that sometimes. Who could resist that peacock? It’s an exciting method of book selection because I read novels I would have never considered otherwise and occasionally discover a gem. Miss Jane is, fortunately, one of those gems.

Miss Jane is about Jane Chisolm- an extraordinary girl born in the deep South in the early 19th century with a physical deformity so extreme that she can never have children or even control her bowels. Though Jane struggles with her handicap, it doesn’t define her and she manages to have a beautiful and meaningful life in an otherwise hardscrabble, country existence. Jane’s father is an alcoholic, brewing his own stuff during prohibition, and her mother is deeply unhappy with their relationship, her life, and the world. Jane’s sister, Grace, just wants out of her childhood home and will do anything to achieve that goal. Jane’s doctor, Dr. Thompson, delivers Jane into the world and then spends the rest of his life trying to help her improve the quality of her existence and to also educate the medical community about her condition (there was very little information on it at the time). Miss Jane is based on one of Brad Watson’s actual relatives and I found it to be a fascinating study of not only the South at the turn of the century, but also how poor farming communities handled day-to-day drudgery, poor prospects, and major differences of mind and body.

The farm and nature portions of the story read a lot like a southern, more adult version of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books, which I’ve always loved, so I guess it’s no huge surprise that I enjoyed this as well. I also loved the way that he wrote about dogs on the farm. Here’s Mr. Chisolm and his hound:“You got the face of bored sadness,” he said to the dog. The dog didn’t take umbrage. Came over beside his left foot and plopped down with a heavy sigh as if he were the one going through all the trouble on this evening.” pg 16 ebook. The peacock from the cover makes an appearance in the story as well, but that has a lot to do with Jane’s condition and I’ll let Watson tell you that detail in his own, lovely way.

Here’s Dr. Thompson, trying to understand the attitudes of the country folk he treats: “Sometimes he was astonished how often he forgot people’s cruel ignorance, people who’d never been anywhere but the little hamlets where they were born, raised, and would die. Not that he hadn’t known plenty of so-called sophisticated people with the same attitude.” pg 39 ebook. Dr. Thompson is a complicated character. He’s highly educated and open minded, but prone to indulging in vices like Mr. Chisolm’s homemade alcohol and prostitutes. Dr. Thompson sees the worst of those he treats- the abuse and neglect- but also their sacrifices and loves. At first, it seems that he only cares for Jane as a medical oddity, but as the story progresses, he comes to love her as a father figure.

In some ways, the isolated world that Jane grew up in was perfect for her. Take the description of her grade school: “It was a small school that took the community children all the way from first grade to high school graduation, and there were not many enrolled, so the environment was relatively intimate, like some great, overgrown family, in a way. The children seemed to know and understand one another like siblings, whether lovingly, or with hostility, or with the purposeful ignoring of this one or that.” pg 58 ebook. That’s the positive and negative of growing up in a small town- that everyone knows everyone else’s business.

Jane’s struggle to fit in is written very beautifully by Watson: “She’d never put a word to the sadness she could sometimes feel, especially in the last couple of years, that would linger at the edge of her thoughts like the invisible ghost of someone she thought she recognized but didn’t know who it was, some kind of familiar she couldn’t quite grasp.” pg 127 ebook

Or this: “She stayed so busy and tired that it seemed like time didn’t matter anymore. Didn’t so much pass as disappear, like memories neglected and forgotten. Years can slip away in such a manner, in such a life.” pg 156 ebook.

A read-alike for Miss Jane: Bull Mountain by Brian Panowich, a story about a family in the deep south but much more violent and with drugs.

Thanks for reading!

You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day

You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day

“You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)” is an excruciatingly honest memoir from Felicia Day about her quirky childhood, gaming addiction, cultural attitudes online, and life long struggle with anxiety and other mental health issues.

She reminded me a great deal of Jenny Lawson in her straight forward presentation of difficult topics and also in her exuberant storytelling style. And, in many other ways, she reminded me of myself.

Being a female gamer is hard. There, I’ve said it. Not only do your female friends not want to play video games with you, but your male friends never really accept you as a legitimate gamer. You’re kind of stuck in this twilight space of “this is what I love to do” but society doesn’t agree that it is appropriate for you to do.

Now, unlike the early days of MMORPGs, many more women play video games, and I’m sure that I’d make more female friends if I tried. But, back then in the fall of 2000, when I first got into EverQuest (one of the predecessors of WoW, the game that Felicia played), many more men played female avatars than actual women played. That’s just how it went.

Photo by picjumbo.com on Pexels.com

I loved that Felicia addressed this female gamer white elephant, so to speak. There are few people who really talk about it, but it’s something that I’ve been dealing with for a long time.

I loved her cheerful attitude, even when things got tough: “My story demonstrates that there’s no better time in history to have a dream and be able to reach an audience with your art. Or just be as weird as you want to be and not have to be ashamed.” pg 19 ebook. That’s a pretty powerful lesson and one which artists and dreamers everywhere should know.

Felicia admits that she has very few hands-on skills, something which I also have in common with her. In this passage, she’s joking about ordering coffee: “…I’m determined to enjoy the liquid indulgences of modern life. Might as well take advantage of it all before the zombie apocalypse. I have no practical skills; I’m fully aware that I’ll be one of the first ones “turned.” Instead of learning motorcycle repair or something else disaster-scenario useful, I’ll order the drink I want until I become a shambling corpse.” pg 17 ebook.

I’ve thought about my librarianship skills and book reviewing abilities in that same light. If something catastrophic happens, I’m kind of screwed.

I mean, yes, there have been favorable depictions of librarians after the apocalypse (Station Eleven comes to mind) but really, what good could I do for people struggling to survive or myself? While we’re on the topic of librarians, I also enjoyed that Felicia’s first “job” was working for her aunt, a librarian. She said about it: “No job since has left me feeling so well rewarded.” pg 67 ebook. Aww….

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Chapter Five: Quirky Addiction = Still an Addiction (How my obsessive personality steered me into a twelve-hour-a-day gaming addiction and an alt-life as a level 60 warlock named Codex) pg 85 ebook, was my favorite.

Gaming addiction is an actual thing. I’ve known multiple people who dropped out of college or lost their jobs because they couldn’t stop playing video games. I’ve also known people whose relationships started or ended because of it too. It seems silly for people who don’t have any interest in video games, but it can be as destructive an addiction and as real as anything else- drugs, sex, whatever.

Felicia nails the siren call of video games in this passage: “When we graduate from childhood into adulthood, we’re thrown into this confusing, Cthulhu-like miasma of life, filled with social and career problems, all with branching choices and no correct answers. Sometimes gaming feels like going back to that simple kid world. pg 93 ebook.

That’s it, really. Do the quest, get the reward, and repeat. Real life is never that simple or straight forward.

Though she felt like she wasted a lot of time, Felicia managed to break free of her addiction and channel her passion into the hugely successfully series: The Guild. I had never watched it, but after reading this book, I binge-watched every episode. She managed to take the culture, friendships, and craziness that is online gaming and turned it into a compulsively view-able series. I loved it.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch it yourself, I highly recommend it. One of the overarching points of this book, and the television show, is that not only can you overcome hurdles that held you back from the life of your dreams, but you can use the very thing that was the stumbling block to move onwards. Well done, Felicia, very well done.

One last little bit that I wanted to include in this review, because it rang so true for me, was Felicia’s thoughts about her struggles with mental illness. She says: “I couldn’t trust my own mind anymore, which was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. pg 170 ebook.

When your own internal filter, your brain, is compromised, you feel like you can’t trust yourself ever again. It’s as simple and as terrifying as that and, unless you go through it yourself, there’s not really any good way to explain what’s happened to you or why you’re so afraid.

If you’ve ever had any struggles with anxiety or mental health issues, you may really enjoy this memoir. Also, if you enjoy online gaming or want to understand one of your loved ones who does, you may like this book. Some read-alikes: Nerd Do Well by Simon Pegg, Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks: An Epic Quest for Reality Among Role Players, Online Gamers, and Other Dwellers of Imaginary Realms by Ethan Gilsdorf, or Just a Geek: Unflinchingly honest tales of the search for life, love, and fulfillment beyond the Starship Enterprise by Wil Wheaton.

Thanks for reading!