Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking entered my life at a particularly low moment.

Allow me to set the scene: I had been on vacation for a week and a half. We were in Colorado, visiting my husband’s family, some of whom I had met before, others whom I had not. I knew I wasn’t going to be entirely comfortable being around people the whole trip- I’m a huge introvert and I’m self aware enough to know that I need downtime, and quite a bit of it, to feel as if I’m functioning normally.

But I didn’t realize that my husband, who is just as introverted as I am and who I was counting on to help me through all of the introductions, dinners, conversations, etc, was going to immerse himself in Pokemon Go a majority of the time and essentially leave me to my own devices.

As Susan Cain would say, he found a “restorative niche” for himself in a digital world. It was hard on me as I didn’t have that escape.

So, here we are, visiting a friend’s home and my daughter, who strangely enough is a huge extrovert (the exact opposite of her parents), is struggling. She’s tired, out-of-sorts, and throwing a sulk every ten minutes.

I’m meeting yet more people, trying to hold trite conversations, and steer my child, all the while just wanting to retreat into a cave and not talk to anyone for a very long time. Honestly, I felt that way before we reached the party, but things seemed to get much, much worse the moment we arrived.

It had been building over the course of the vacation, but that day, my internal clamor reached a boiling point. My husband was oblivious to my growing discomfort as he’s catching Pokemon, again. (I don’t mean to sound bitter here, but I suppose that I am.)

I had forced myself for ten days to be social, keep the smile on my face, keep everything flowing smoothly. To my horror, I realize that I am about to have a panic attack in the middle of this crowd of people, more than half of whom I don’t even know. I grab my keys and leave.

I drive a couple blocks away, castigating myself for not being able to handle it and just pissed because, once again, like many times in my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, I feel like I’m failing at life because I’m not a social butterfly.

I can’t stand to be around strangers for extended periods of time. I’ve always been this way- overly sensitive to others, noise, motion, events. I really dislike groups, parties, places where I have to circulate with a bunch of people who don’t know me or care about anything that I have to say.

The tears fell down my cheeks as I opened up my tablet and began reading this book. And I discovered that about half of all people are just like me.

Thank you, Susan Cain. Your book gave me the courage to drive back to my friend’s house and face the rest of the evening. I am not a pariah. I am an introvert and perhaps I can do a better job figuring out when I’ve reached my socializing limits before I meltdown.

Many of the positive attributes of introverts which Susan describes, I have, I’ve just never considered them as worth the trade-off of the extroverted personality.

I notice small details, have a great memory for conversations and events, long past the time when others forget such things. I think carefully about problems and people, devoting time to taking apart small nuances of books and movies, that other people don’t even consider, which makes me a good reviewer of media- perfect for my job as a librarian.

Susan nailed my general feeling about myself in the introduction: “Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.” pg 34 ebook. Yes!

My role at the reference desk calls for an extroverted personality but I muddle through it, because I care about the job and helping others. Usually, I come home from work, totally worn out and in need of quiet time to unwind.

Susan helped me understand that sometimes “faking it” is worth it, if it for a cause that means something to you and that others do the exact same thing that I do.

Pull out the mask for the job, but then allow yourself the freedom to be who you really are at home: “According to Free Trait Theory, we are born and culturally endowed with certain personality traits- introversion, for example- but we can and do act out of character in the service of “core personal projects.” In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” pg 391 ebook.

My favorite parts of the book were about sensitivity and social situations. Take this passage: “…maybe we didn’t choose … social accessories at random. Maybe we’ve adopted dark glasses, relaxed body language, and alcohol as signifiers precisely because they camouflage signs of a nervous system on overdrive. Sunglasses prevent others from seeing our eyes dilate with surprise or fear; we know from Kagan’s work that a relaxed torso is a hallmark of low reactivity; and alcohol removes our inhibitions and lowers our arousal levels. When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer, says the personality psychologist Brian Little, “they’re really saying hi, have a glass of extroversion.” pg 277 ebook.

I may use that in my life. “Please hand me that glass of extroversion.”

I also really enjoyed learning the differences in thinking: “Introverts and extroverts also direct their attention differently: if you leave them to their own devices, the introverts tend to sit around wondering about things, imagining things, recalling events from their past, and making plans for the future. The extroverts are more likely to focus on what’s happening around them. It’s as if extroverts are seeing “what is” while their introverted peers are asking “what if.”pg 323 ebook. Yeah, I do that too.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It saved an evening for me, but more importantly, it changed the way that I view myself. There is power in knowing that you’re not alone. Again, thank you, Susan Cain. Some read-alikes: The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World by Sophia Dembling (for introversion) or Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson (for more instances of social anxiety).

Thank you for reading!

Railsea by China Miéville

“This is the story of a bloodstained boy.” That’s the first line of this strange and fantastical tale of giant creatures that “swim” in the earth’s soil and the brave and flawed “molers” who chase them for profit and life purpose. Miéville has created a dystopian world covered in railway ties with skies poisoned by chemicals and filled with monstrous, alien creatures who feast on those who get too close. But, there may just be something beyond the rails, if the characters in this story are determined and lucky enough to see their way through to the end of the world… Though based off of the tale of Moby Dick, Railsea is an engaging adventure and coming of age story that reads like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. Miéville has blended together steampunk, dytopian, and fantasy elements to create something completely different.

Sham is a boy on the cusp of manhood who can’t quite figure out what he wants to do with his adulthood: “Sham felt sure there was something he fervently wanted to do & to which he was excellently suited. Which made the more frustrating that he could not say what it was. Too vague about his interests for further study; too cautious in company, perhaps a little bruised by less-than-stellar school days, to thrive in sales or service; too young & sluggish to excel at heavy work: Sham’s tryings-out of various candidate activities left him het up.” pg 36, ebook. Anyone who has ever been lost about what path to follow in life will be able to empathize with Sham.

Miéville’s story, like Moby Dick has layers of meaning built into it: “Edging such places is the railseaside, called the littoral zone. Those are the shorelands. Port towns, from where transport, freight & hunting trains set out. Where lighthouses light ways past rubbish reefs breaking earth. “Give me the inland or give me the open rails,” say both the railsailor & the landlubber, “only spare me the littoral-minded.” pg 51 ebook. Clever, no? A warning, if you don’t enjoy reads where the author makes up words to tell the story, you may want to skip Railsea. There’s a bunch of creative adjectives and nouns mixed up in this one.

The religions of this world were a fascinating too. I wish Miéville had explored them more: “He muttered in his head to That Apt Ohm, the great rotund boss-god, one of the few deities worshipped across the railsea, whatever the peculiarities of local pantheons. Bollons was ecumenical, granted church-licences to any deities whose worshippers could pay the fees. But the disrespectful worship of That Apt Ohm was taken more seriously there, pursued with more verve, than at most stops on the railsea. Sham had no idea quite what, if anything, he believed, but there seemed little harm in a quick silent word with one of the few gods whose name he remembered.” pg 100, ebook.

Part of the homage to Moby Dick, finding a captain’s “philosophy”: “How many of these philosophies were out there? Not every captain of the Stereggeye Lands had one, but a fair proportion grew into a close antipathy-cum-connection with one particular animal, which they came to realise or decide-to decidalise-embodied meanings, potentialities, ways of looking at the world. At a certain point, & it was hard to be exact but you knew it when you saw it, the usual cunning thinking about professional prey switched onto a new rail & became something else- a faithfulness to an animal that was now a world-view.” pg 130 ebook. What’s your white mole?

I enjoyed Railsea but I can see how this writer might not be for everyone. He uses fragmented sentences and ampersands (&) to move the story along. The chapters are incredibly short which also kept the pace rolling but it could also be viewed as making the novel choppy. Sometimes, Miéville breaks through the fourth wall and addresses the reader directly. I thought that device was charming, conjuring up images in my mind of storytellers sitting in front of the fire or at a pub. But, again, this may not work for everyone.

Some read-alikes for Railsea: Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness or Under the Empyrean Sky by Chuck Wendig. Thanks for reading!

Princeless, Volume 4: Be Yourself by Jeremy Whitley

Dear readers, there are some spoilers in this review, but they’re necessary for a thorough discussion of the comic. Please, if you haven’t read this one yet, go pick it up from your local library and then come back to this review. Thank you 🙂

The Princeless series continues to deliver strong female characters, beautiful (child appropriate) artwork, and storylines with meaning. Each time Adrienne and Bedelia venture out to rescue one of Adrienne’s sisters, a facet of relationships is dissected and examined. This volume dealt with abusive relationships and gender roles in government.

Now, it’s not that cut and dry on the surface- the story itself is really fun and engaging. Adrienne and Bedelia have to survive a cannibalistic tribe of goblins in a monster infested swamp in order to reach Angoisse’s tower. On the way, they befriend unlikely allies and encounter a plant-like terror.

While this is going on, Adrienne’s brother, Devin, refuses to embrace traditional gender roles and activities, which continues to infuriate his tyrannical father. Their relationship illustrates the eternal struggle between parent and child. Parents think they know better and push their child in the direction they believe they should go, while children want to follow their natural inclinations. In the push-pull dynamic, somehow everything works out fine, but with more bad feelings on either side than there need to be.

The abusive relationship portion is tactfully presented in the interactions between Angoisse and Raphael. Sometimes people act a certain way because they want something out of you, other than your company. Kids get it. But in an era of Twilight idealization, I think the presentation of a “vampire” who acts out of self-interest rather than undying love is an important topic to discuss.

Teen relationships are just as thorny and prone to abuse as adult relationships and, because they are some of the first experiences that teens have, they have the potential to color the rest of that person’s lifetime and set the stage for the relationships to come.

Angoisse is a victim of Raphael but also her own beliefs. She’s always thought that she needed a man to complete her and she was going to do whatever it took to keep that relationship intact, even to the point of giving up her humanity or betraying her own family.

It didn’t take a very smart predator to see that she could be manipulated through her feelings. Sadly, such people actually exist. Thank you, Princeless for opening a door to the discussion of how to remain true to yourself in relationships and a powerful example of how to leave the ones that have soured.

The story is not too complex and adult readers may find it rather simplistic (unless you dig deeper into the underlying meaning), but it’s perfect for the 8 to 12 year olds. This comic will appeal to reluctant readers of either gender. I highly recommend it.

Thank you for reading!

Miss Jane by Brad Watson

Confession time: I picked this one up because of the cover. I do that sometimes. Who could resist that peacock? It’s an exciting method of book selection because I read novels I would have never considered otherwise and occasionally discover a gem. Miss Jane is, fortunately, one of those gems.

Miss Jane is about Jane Chisolm- an extraordinary girl born in the deep South in the early 19th century with a physical deformity so extreme that she can never have children or even control her bowels. Though Jane struggles with her handicap, it doesn’t define her and she manages to have a beautiful and meaningful life in an otherwise hardscrabble, country existence. Jane’s father is an alcoholic, brewing his own stuff during prohibition, and her mother is deeply unhappy with their relationship, her life, and the world. Jane’s sister, Grace, just wants out of her childhood home and will do anything to achieve that goal. Jane’s doctor, Dr. Thompson, delivers Jane into the world and then spends the rest of his life trying to help her improve the quality of her existence and to also educate the medical community about her condition (there was very little information on it at the time). Miss Jane is based on one of Brad Watson’s actual relatives and I found it to be a fascinating study of not only the South at the turn of the century, but also how poor farming communities handled day-to-day drudgery, poor prospects, and major differences of mind and body.

The farm and nature portions of the story read a lot like a southern, more adult version of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books, which I’ve always loved, so I guess it’s no huge surprise that I enjoyed this as well. I also loved the way that he wrote about dogs on the farm. Here’s Mr. Chisolm and his hound:“You got the face of bored sadness,” he said to the dog. The dog didn’t take umbrage. Came over beside his left foot and plopped down with a heavy sigh as if he were the one going through all the trouble on this evening.” pg 16 ebook. The peacock from the cover makes an appearance in the story as well, but that has a lot to do with Jane’s condition and I’ll let Watson tell you that detail in his own, lovely way.

Here’s Dr. Thompson, trying to understand the attitudes of the country folk he treats: “Sometimes he was astonished how often he forgot people’s cruel ignorance, people who’d never been anywhere but the little hamlets where they were born, raised, and would die. Not that he hadn’t known plenty of so-called sophisticated people with the same attitude.” pg 39 ebook. Dr. Thompson is a complicated character. He’s highly educated and open minded, but prone to indulging in vices like Mr. Chisolm’s homemade alcohol and prostitutes. Dr. Thompson sees the worst of those he treats- the abuse and neglect- but also their sacrifices and loves. At first, it seems that he only cares for Jane as a medical oddity, but as the story progresses, he comes to love her as a father figure.

In some ways, the isolated world that Jane grew up in was perfect for her. Take the description of her grade school: “It was a small school that took the community children all the way from first grade to high school graduation, and there were not many enrolled, so the environment was relatively intimate, like some great, overgrown family, in a way. The children seemed to know and understand one another like siblings, whether lovingly, or with hostility, or with the purposeful ignoring of this one or that.” pg 58 ebook. That’s the positive and negative of growing up in a small town- that everyone knows everyone else’s business.

Jane’s struggle to fit in is written very beautifully by Watson: “She’d never put a word to the sadness she could sometimes feel, especially in the last couple of years, that would linger at the edge of her thoughts like the invisible ghost of someone she thought she recognized but didn’t know who it was, some kind of familiar she couldn’t quite grasp.” pg 127 ebook

Or this: “She stayed so busy and tired that it seemed like time didn’t matter anymore. Didn’t so much pass as disappear, like memories neglected and forgotten. Years can slip away in such a manner, in such a life.” pg 156 ebook.

A read-alike for Miss Jane: Bull Mountain by Brian Panowich, a story about a family in the deep south but much more violent and with drugs.

Thanks for reading!

You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day

“You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)” is an excruciatingly honest memoir from Felicia Day about her quirky childhood, gaming addiction, cultural attitudes online, and life long struggle with anxiety and other mental health issues.

She reminded me a great deal of Jenny Lawson in her straight forward presentation of difficult topics and also in her exuberant storytelling style. And, in many other ways, she reminded me of myself.

Being a female gamer is hard. There, I’ve said it. Not only do your female friends not want to play video games with you, but your male friends never really accept you as a legitimate gamer. You’re kind of stuck in this twilight space of “this is what I love to do” but society doesn’t agree that it is appropriate for you to do.

Now, unlike the early days of MMORPGs, many more women play video games, and I’m sure that I’d make more female friends if I tried. But, back then in the fall of 2000, when I first got into EverQuest (one of the predecessors of WoW, the game that Felicia played), many more men played female avatars than actual women played. That’s just how it went.

I loved that Felicia addressed this female gamer white elephant, so to speak. There are few people who really talk about it, but it’s something that I’ve been dealing with for a long time.

I loved her cheerful attitude, even when things got tough: “My story demonstrates that there’s no better time in history to have a dream and be able to reach an audience with your art. Or just be as weird as you want to be and not have to be ashamed.” pg 19 ebook. That’s a pretty powerful lesson and one which artists and dreamers everywhere should know.

Felicia admits that she has very few hands-on skills, something which I also have in common with her. In this passage, she’s joking about ordering coffee: “…I’m determined to enjoy the liquid indulgences of modern life. Might as well take advantage of it all before the zombie apocalypse. I have no practical skills; I’m fully aware that I’ll be one of the first ones “turned.” Instead of learning motorcycle repair or something else disaster-scenario useful, I’ll order the drink I want until I become a shambling corpse.” pg 17 ebook.

I’ve thought about my librarianship skills and book reviewing abilities in that same light. If something catastrophic happens, I’m kind of screwed.

I mean, yes, there have been favorable depictions of librarians after the apocalypse (Station Eleven comes to mind) but really, what good could I do for people struggling to survive or myself? While we’re on the topic of librarians, I also enjoyed that Felicia’s first “job” was working for her aunt, a librarian. She said about it: “No job since has left me feeling so well rewarded.” pg 67 ebook. Aww….

Chapter Five: Quirky Addiction = Still an Addiction (How my obsessive personality steered me into a twelve-hour-a-day gaming addiction and an alt-life as a level 60 warlock named Codex) pg 85 ebook, was my favorite.

Gaming addiction is an actual thing. I’ve known multiple people who dropped out of college or lost their jobs because they couldn’t stop playing video games. I’ve also known people whose relationships started or ended because of it too. It seems silly for people who don’t have any interest in video games, but it can be as destructive an addiction and as real as anything else- drugs, sex, whatever.

Felicia nails the siren call of video games in this passage: “When we graduate from childhood into adulthood, we’re thrown into this confusing, Cthulhu-like miasma of life, filled with social and career problems, all with branching choices and no correct answers. Sometimes gaming feels like going back to that simple kid world. pg 93 ebook.

That’s it, really. Do the quest, get the reward, and repeat. Real life is never that simple or straight forward.

Though she felt like she wasted a lot of time, Felicia managed to break free of her addiction and channel her passion into the hugely successfully series: The Guild. I had never watched it, but after reading this book, I binge-watched every episode. She managed to take the culture, friendships, and craziness that is online gaming and turned it into a compulsively view-able series. I loved it.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch it yourself, I highly recommend it. One of the overarching points of this book, and the television show, is that not only can you overcome hurdles that held you back from the life of your dreams, but you can use the very thing that was the stumbling block to move onwards. Well done, Felicia, very well done.

One last little bit that I wanted to include in this review, because it rang so true for me, was Felicia’s thoughts about her struggles with mental illness. She says: “I couldn’t trust my own mind anymore, which was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. pg 170 ebook.

When your own internal filter, your brain, is compromised, you feel like you can’t trust yourself ever again. It’s as simple and as terrifying as that and, unless you go through it yourself, there’s not really any good way to explain what’s happened to you or why you’re so afraid.

If you’ve ever had any struggles with anxiety or mental health issues, you may really enjoy this memoir. Also, if you enjoy online gaming or want to understand one of your loved ones who does, you may like this book. Some read-alikes: Nerd Do Well by Simon Pegg, Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks: An Epic Quest for Reality Among Role Players, Online Gamers, and Other Dwellers of Imaginary Realms by Ethan Gilsdorf, or Just a Geek: Unflinchingly honest tales of the search for life, love, and fulfillment beyond the Starship Enterprise by Wil Wheaton.

Thanks for reading!

Women Who Read Are Dangerous by Stefan Bollmann, Foreword by Karen Joy Fowler

Part art appreciation and part homage to the female reader, Women Who Read Are Dangerous is probably the the most aptly titled book that I’ve ever read.

In addition to the beautiful images (my favorites pages 73 & 89), this book educates the reader about the politics, historical trends, and gender inequality tied to reading. Who knew that simply picking up a book could be such a subversive act?

Women Who Read are Dangerous sums up years of strange thinking about women and books with a dose of humor that I appreciated.

Take these historical opinions for example: “Women are too literal-minded for reading. Women are too sentimental, too empathetic, too distractable for reading. Women are passive, practically somnolent, consumers of popular culture, never realizing how, with the very books they choose, they participate in their own subordination.” pg 16

Or this: “The lack of all physical movement while reading, combined with the forcible alternation of imagination and emotion,” said the teacher Karl G. Bauer in 1791, would lead to “slackness, mucous congestion, flatulence, and constipation of the inner organs, which, as is well known, particularly in the female sex, actually affects the sexual parts”- so anyone who read a great deal and whose powers of imagination were stimulated by reading would also be inclined to masturbation, as indeed we can already observe in Baudouin’s painting. But such moralizing could not hold up the triumphal march of reading, including- and specifically- female reading.” pg 23

Can’t hold us back, right readers? I’m actually feeling pretty well for all the reading that I do.

Reading is power, I’ve always known that: “With the ability to read, however, there developed new patterns of private behavior that were to threaten the legitimacy of both the Church and secular authorities on a permanent basis. Women who learned to read at that time were considered dangerous. For the woman who reads acquires a space to which she and no one else has access, and together with this she develops an independent sense of self-esteem; furthermore, she creates her own view of the world that does not necessarily correspond with that conveyed by tradition, or with that of men.” pg 26

An introvert’s paradise, the keys to your freedom, the way to stick it to the “man”… as if I needed more reasons to read.

I also liked this description of reading: “Reading is an act of friendly isolation. When we are reading, we make ourselves unapproachable in a tactful way.” pg 34 I never really considered it that way before, but it is a method in which you remove yourself from the world for a time, even from those sitting in the same room.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Seems obvious, when I consider it, but I had never taken the time to do so.

Finally, I learned about how “silent reading” is a recent trend. Did you know?: “An illiterate today is not only someone who cannot read (or write), but also anyone who cannot understand a text unless he or she reads it aloud. Yet there must have been a time when the opposite was the case- when reading aloud was the norm, as silent reading is today. … Until well into the Middle Ages and in some cases well into modern times, reading consisted of both thinking and speaking, and was above all an act that took place not in separation from the outside world, but at its center, within the social group and under its surveillance.” pg 25

Ugh. “Under its surveillance”?

That brings to mind the quotation, “Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.” -Ovid.

Highly recommended for art enthusiasts and anyone who loves to read, Women Who Read are Dangerous is a lot of fun and a walk on the wild side… if one believes in such things.

If you’re looking for more non-fiction information about reading, try “Wild Things! Acts of Mischief in Children’s Literature” by Betsy Bird. It doesn’t have the beautiful artwork of this book, but it does contain a lot of information about the history and, sometimes scandalous, back story of children’s books and authors.

A big thank you to the Goodreads First Reads Program for a finished copy of this book for review purposes. And, thank you for reading!

Tin Star by Cecil Castellucci

Tin Star is the story of Tula Bane, a teenager who joined a space colonizing cult from Earth. She is abandoned on a way station near the edge of the known universe on the way to her new home.

How will Tula Bane survive among aliens who think human beings are the worst? Will she ever be able to go home to Earth or the colony’s planet? How will she manage to put bread on the table?

I love a good space opera and I thought that I would enjoy Tin Star more than I did.

The promise of books set in space, in my opinion, is the opportunity for unique interstellar exploration and worlds created entirely from the author’s imagination. Because of Tula’s unique plight- being stuck in what is essentially a space gas station- the author left herself very little room to write a creative story.

Mainly, Tin Star deals with character development and social struggles, not adventuring in new places.

The villain of the tale was charismatic and creepy. Take this description: “He had his hand on my shoulder in a way that he had a million times before. Only before it was comforting, encouraging, affectionate. Now it was menacing. He was looking at me and his face was smiling. To anyone looking from afar, he seemed to be pleased with me, but it was just a mask. His attitude shifted from concerned leader to unknowable monster.” pg 4

Tula manages to befriend a shady, insect-like alien named Heckleck. He’s my favorite character.

In this passage, Heckleck explains the problems Tula will face in trying to leave the station: “I know about you,” Heckleck said. “Everyone does. And you will never get off this station. You are nobody. And worse, you’re a Human. Even if you did not get on a ship that would take one of your kind, you’d have nowhere to go but to roam like the others of your kind do.” pg 35.

Keeping it real: with Heckleck.

I thought Cecil Castellucci could have done more with the cultural differences between Tula and the others on the station.

One of the most interesting exchanges in the book was between Tula and Tournour, the head of the outpost. She’s trying to figure out how old he is and, because they’re from different planets/species, it’s a surreal conversation. More of that would have been nice.

But Castellucci wrote cultural and language barriers out of the story by introducing nanites into Tula’s bloodstream to translate alien languages for her.

Something that Castellucci did well was writing profound silences between characters into her story. For much of this story, Tula finds herself standing around with Heckleck and Tournour and having nothing to say. But, somehow, it works.

I liked how Castellucci wrote the thoughts spinning through Tula’s mind at these moments. It reminded me of myself when I can’t think of anything to say: “It was a silent agreement between us that if we spoke too much then we would have to talk about the practical things. … If we ever spoke of the things that truly pressed up against us, our very real worries, our seemingly impossibly plans for escape, our divergent hopes for the future, our bubble would blow apart.” pg 184

This book in three lines: “In the end, good must win over evil. The trouble is trying to figure out which is which. Sometimes they look so much alike.” pg 204

Read this book if you enjoy light, young adult drama in space. If you’re looking for a meaty, space adventure, you’ll need to find another title.

Some read-alikes are: The Knife of Never Letting Go (teen trying to survive on an alien planet) or Gated (teen trying to leave a cult).

Thank you to Roaring Brook Press for sending an advance reader copy of this book. And, thank you for reading!

Following Your Path by Alexandra Collins Dickerman

Following Your Path is about using tarot cards and meditation in order to communicate with your psyche. I was particularly excited about this book because that’s the method that I use for my own meditations and writings. This book is a treasure trove of mythological symbolism and fairy tales. I enjoyed much of it. But, I felt as if Alexandra guides the reader almost too well.

She breaks down the cards into their various pieces and encourages reflection on each piece of the Tarot artwork in a sort of automatic writing process (write down the first thing that comes to mind when you look at “blank”).

I felt like she was depriving the reader of the richer experience of pathwalking into the cards themselves.

If I were to write a manual, perhaps someday, I would leave the meditations themselves as completely open ended with plenty of blank pages for writing. So, more like: “Here is the card. Walk through it as if it is a doorway. What do you see?”

It may be difficult to believe, but the mind fills the space with “something”. The endless writing prompts for the small details really aren’t needed. But, I could see this book being very useful for true beginners who are unsure of the way or don’t yet trust or know their own inner worlds.

Another small criticism, Alexandra has the reader starting their journey into the major Trumps (the minor cards aren’t even presented) and she starts her study with the Fool rather than the Universe. But, I suppose it doesn’t really matter the order in which you explore the cards. The fact that you’re doing it at all is what is important.

I loved this explanation of the psyche in the introduction by Jean Houston: “The psyche is not unlike an archaeological dig in which different civilizations, stories, and interpretations may be revealed at each level. Unlike the field archaeologist, however, we have living access to the cultures and knowings of the various strata within ourselves and therefore can learn on site how to tap our hidden dimensions for the benefit of our existential lives. It is also possible, with the help of those primordial patterns of meaning and relationship known as archetypes, to build sustaining bridges to, and networks among, these strata, thereby encouraging an ongoing communication and exchange of content- a kind of commerce of the psyche.” introduction, pg vii

There are quotations scattered throughout the text that I found very enlightening, such as: “Myth is the secret opening through which the inexhaustible energies of the cosmos pour into human cultural manifestation. Religions, philosophies, arts, the social forms of primitive and historic man, prime discoveries in science and technology, the very dreams that blister sleep, boil up from the basic, magic ring of myth.” -Joseph Campbell, pg 17 Makes you want to start meditating right now!

This book is extremely positive and affirming. I liked that in addition to the meditation prompts, Alexandra provides further exercises and questions to help heal and creatively examine the mind. She says: “It is only when we learn to evaluate ourselves in terms of our own inner values that we can exist in a positive emotional state, aware of the continual opportunities for growth and for feelings of satisfaction.” pg 138

She also provides hope for those who may be going through the darkness of depression or despair:“Often when we find ourselves in a state of stupor, hopelessness, pain, loneliness, depression, and even madness, we may be on the verge of great vision and inspiration. Our condition of desperation is often only a stopping place on the road to greater self-development. By looking inward, we can find a way past destruction, to salvation and to a new life.” pg 244 So, if you’re going through hell, keep going.

If you enjoyed this book, you may want to look at The Creative Tarot: A Modern Guide to an Inspired Life by Jessa Crispin. If you want numerous examples of tarot card pathwalkings, take a look at my book, The Light Congress: thelightcongress.com

Happy meditating and thanks for reading!

Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson

Second read-through August 2021: I have a few thoughts to add on my second read-through of Gardens of the Moon. Unlike my first foray into Malazan, I came out of this reading with a better appreciation of the female characters of the story.

Instead of being focused on what the characters were not, I looked at what the characters were. Powerful leaders, most of them, who imposed their will on the world around them through violence. It is an unexpected role for women, but still feels somewhat one dimensional. I wish some of the characters were more fleshed out, but I have the feeling that this development will happen before the end of the series.

Also, this go-round, I had a better grasp on the complexities of Gardens of the Moon and was prepared to be dropped into the middle of the action. Steven Erikson doesn’t hold the reader’s hand. He pushes her through the door into another world. Some readers hate/love this strategy. I fall mainly on the side of hate, but if it’s a good story, I’ll put up with it.

My favorite part is still the new tarot card deck that Erikson created.

Unlike last time, I’m going to keep pushing forward with this series. On to the next book!

Review from first read-through June 2016: Gardens of the Moon is an extraordinarily complex fantasy. The over-arching story: the Malazan Empire (a militaristic conglomeration of nations) is invading everywhere and trashing cities as it goes. The Empress of Malazan, her High Fist Dujek (like a top general), Adjunct Lorn (a magic-hating fixer), Whiskeyjack and the Bridgeburners (like the A-team for Malazan, they go in and cause chaos before the main army arrives), Tattersail (a Malazan mage), Ganoes Paran (a soldier), and more are on the side of the Empire.

There’s about a dozen other main characters that I won’t list here for brevity’s sake.

One of the many heroes of this tale is Paran. The story begins with Paran as a child, gazing down from the walls of his city, towards destruction being wreaked by Malazan mages. He dreams of being a warrior and tells this dream to the aged soldier with him.

Their conversation: “Every decision you make can change the world. The best life is the one the gods don’t notice. You want to live free, boy, live quietly.” “I want to be a soldier. A hero.” “You’ll grow out of it.” pg 5

And so the story begins. Paran gets his desire, of course, but so much more than he bargained for… kind of like the reader who picks up this book.

At first, I thought that the story was going to go like The Game of Thrones. We were going to have a bunch of different characters all fighting for the same thing. I was so wrong. The only similarities between the two tales are that 1. they’re fantasies, 2. they have a bunch of characters, and 3. there is a power struggle, but otherwise, they’re very different.

Gardens of the Moon contains direct interventions between gods and humanity as well as magical creatures from the past and other realms of existence.

As for the magic system, the magically-inclined in this story take their power from different dimensions called “warrens“. There are half a dozen different ones, with further warrens hinted at as the story progresses.

Taken as a whole- it is a many layered cake of fantasy awesomeness. I was overwhelmed by it all at times.

Perhaps because of the sheer scope of the story, the characterizations suffered. The author could only build so much detail into each person.

For example, Erikson tried to make Paran more than just a simple hero, but it didn’t always work: “When he thought of himself, of that young noble-born man with the overblown faith in honesty and integrity, the vision that came to him now was of something cold, hard, and dark. It hid in the deepest shadows of his mind, and it watched. No contemplation, no judgment, just icy, clinical observation.” pg 110

I was unimpressed with the role of the females in this story. With as many characters that we had, I thought we’d have at least one or two amazing, strong, female heroes. I know that fantasies are not known for their gender equality but in a world with magic, gods, and other surprising things, I would count a strong female character as one of the greatest miracles of all.

Erikson’s world building was so complete that he even created a new set of Tarot cards, just for his world. It’s one of my favorite parts of the story.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Here’s a passage that I really liked: “Those whom the gods choose, ’tis said, they first separate from other mortals- by treachery, by stripping from you your spirit’s lifeblood. The gods will take all your loved ones, one by one, to their death. And, as you harden, as you become what they seek, the gods smile and nod. Each company you shun brings you closer to them. ‘Tis the shaping of a tool, son, the prod and pull, and the final succour they offer you is to end your loneliness- the very isolation they helped you create.” Never get noticed, boy. pg 510 Bleak, but beautiful.

Or this part, the explanation of the story’s title, which is so brief, if you blink, you’ll miss it: (On the moon) The Lord of the Deep waters living there is named Grallin. He tends vast, beautiful underwater gardens. Grallin will come down to us, one day, to our world. And he’ll gather his chosen and take them to his world. And we’ll live in those gardens, warmed by the deep fires, and our children will swim like dolphins, and we’ll be happy since there won’t be anymore wars, and no empires, and no swords and shields.” pg 531-532

That’s the dream of all of the characters in this story- to live in peace. But, because of the Malazan Empire, they can’t.

Recommended for true fans of fantasy. There’s so much to sink your teeth into that, unless you really love the genre, you’ll probably just put it aside for simpler fare.

Thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Category: Reviews

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Following Your Path by Alexandra Collins Dickerman

Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson

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