/ˌnänˈfikSH(ə)n/ noun. prose writing that is based on facts, real events, and real people, such as biography or history. “high on the bestseller lists of nonfiction”
The Last Lecture is Randy Pausch’s last hurrah- a final note to the world and his family about how to live, love and let go. It is beautiful.
I think that we’re all here for a reason and have stories to tell. How fortunate for us all that Randy had the time and ability to tell his particular story.
I recommend this book for fans of memoirs, computer engineering and heart-felt narratives. I listened to the audiobook and it was excellent.
Then, once I finished the book, I looked up Randy’s actual last lecture on YouTube. Bring your kleenexes, friends.
I’d recommend The Keys to the Temple for mid-level to advanced students of the Qabalah. As simple as the authors have made it, they still assume that you know the worlds, paths and general theory. If you haven’t studied The Mystical Qabalah, this won’t make any sense at all.
If you have the background and the interest, The Keys to the Temple may be of great interest to you. This book contains one of the clearest explanations of the path of the spiritual journey that I have ever read.
Let’s start from the top. What is the Qabalah? “The Qabalah is a spiritual system that has been practiced secretly in Europe since at least the 12th century though it draws on deep roots within Judeo Christian tradition. loc 3117.
I have read criticisms of the books, that they’re too cerebral or dry theory. “However when most people encounter the book they are confronted by a dense-seeming text with long lists of apparently unrelated facts: the idea that this is linked with the vivid imagery and dynamism of the novels can be difficult to understand.” loc 172. I agree that it is “dense” but since it was my introduction to the stuff, I didn’t know any better.
Dion Fortune went a step further and wrote fictional novels to put Qabalistic theory into the real world. The Keys to the Temple takes these books apart by plot, character, theory and then gives practical exercises for personal meditation on the works.
That last part, the practical exercises, is the most important in my mind. It’s like learning to ride a bike. You can read books about it and watch other people riding bikes or talk about riding bikes. But, it’s not until you ride yourself that you get the experience and thrill of it.
With this book, the authors have handed you a bike and shown you the door of the garage. It’s just up to you to ride out there. “Anyone can read this book, but only those who do the work will gain anything from it. The secret of magic is that it is experiential.” loc 2374.
Fortune was also deep into Jungian psychology. “She came to significant conclusions when contrasting psychological and magical approaches in prompting change. Fortune was a forward thinker, and the first to acknowledge that ideas and theories could develop for the better. Her stories seem almost to anticipate the direction psychology would travel, into area that might now be described as spiritual psychology.” loc 3117. And this was in the early part of the 19th century. She truly was a woman ahead of her time.
I’m excited about this book and its potential. The Western Mystery tradition never gets its own shelf in the book stores. The new textbooks, what few there are, are mixed in with the New Age/New Thought works. But, that’s not quite right. It’s truly a category all of its own.
I think the time has come for these practices to be re-introduced to the world. The Keys to the Temple is a step in the right direction.
Thank you to NetGalley and Llewellyn Publications for a free digital copy of this book.
Weird, wild and wonderful. This is a collection of the best in science fiction and fantasy art from 2004. From giant robots in apocalyptic landscapes to hooded figures seated on thrones of skulls, to a normal looking boy encountering a monster in the forest and an ice skating rabbit watching pixies fly away with treasures- the art is beyond description in most cases.
My favorites were the pages in which Dave DeVries took a child’s drawing and brought it to life through his mastery. See “Old Scratch and the Fish,” by Dave DeVries and Kimberly (age 7) on pg 119 or “Big Fat Footie,” by Dave Devries and Chelsea (age 7) on page 158. It makes me want to take some of my child’s drawings and hire an artist to do the same.
There is fear and love in these pages, beauty and grotesqueness. Some of the images are scary, others are compellingly beautiful.
I loved trying to find the reason for the title of each piece. Some weren’t readily apparent. For example, I thought at first that “The Trophy” by Charles Keegan on page 178 was referring to the beautiful naked woman in the light but then I looked closer and discovered… a surprise 🙂 No spoilers. Go find out for yourself.
Because of the nudity and disturbing nature of some of these images, parental discretion is advised. Personally, I think that this collection would be acceptable for +18, maybe as young as 16 if the teen is mature.
The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting is one of the best books about parenthood I’ve ever read. It is an honesty, funny and poignant look at the un-glamorous side of parenting. I loved the pictures. I loved the stories. I wish that this book had been around when I had my baby. Between this read and How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, mothers-to-be have all their bases covered.
Ilana warns mothers about the perils of choosing rare names: “… if you want to name your child something odd, I support you. I like odd names. I think odd names make the world a more interesting place. But you should be prepared to hear some criticism when you are at your most vulnerable.” pg 19. I didn’t even pick something that weird for my child (Willow) but I still faced criticism. When I told my grandpa the name I picked for his first female great-grandkid, he told me that it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. And there I was, heavily pregnant. Yeah, I cried. Wish someone had warned me.
I empathized with the idea that parents have no clue what they’re doing and we’re all secretly terrified that we’re going to screw up our kids in some irreparable way. Over a decade later and I still feel that: “In hindsight, the newborn phase wouldn’t be that hard if new parents weren’t so worried about messing up in such a way that it would ruin their newborn’s life forever.” pg 33.
The page entitled, My two-year-old’s rules for eating a banana pg 76, had me in stitches. Kids are so weird about food. My daughter is currently on a mac-n-cheese, ramen and ice cream kick. This time last year, all she would eat was homemade pancakes and grilled cheese with the crusts cut off. I’m sure that in another year, we’ll be somewhere else. And it’s not just about the “what”, there’s also the “how.” If you cut the crusts off the grilled cheese, but then don’t cut it diagonally, then no dice. You may as well throw it out because my kid won’t eat it. It’s absurd, but true. Poor Ilana suffers through the same thing but with bananas.
The other funniest mini-chapter is: “Totally Butchered Words: Even if you do stop cursing and shield your kids’ ears from swearwords outside the home, your kids will probably still end up saying a few unfortunate things anyway. This is because toddlers might be trying to say one thing, but then it comes out sounding like another word entirely.” pg 116. I can’t even quote what she prints on the next pages because it is too filthy but, in my opinion, it is absolutely hilarious.
Ilana’s parenting philosophy is fantastic: “It’s not a matter of high or low expectations- it’s a matter of no expectations. Discover who your kid is as you go. Your kids will not be who you expect, but the things that amaze us most in life are never the things we expect.” pg 215 Mine amazes me all the time.
Highly recommended to own or give as a gift, The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting is a cut-above average.
I picked up The Alchemy of Freedom because I was looking for an accessible book about alchemy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t actually about alchemy nor was it accessible in my opinion.
But, everybody is ready at different times for different manners of spiritual teachings. Don’t let my incomprehension deter you if you find the description intriguing.
I’m neither a genius nor a guru, just someone who studies religions and spirituality in a comparative, curious, meandering way. This could be the book that opens a door for you.
It simply wasn’t that for me.
There are some gems hidden in these pages but I found it mainly to be a labyrinth of words. I’ve had a similar feeling when listening or reading the works of Eckhart Tolle.
I feel like what Almaas is saying is worthwhile, so I made my way through it. But I just didn’t get the majority of it. Puzzling my way through this book was like grasping a cloud.
I had finished this book last week in preparation for writing a review the day it came out, but when I sat down to write yesterday, the words wouldn’t come. Rarely does reading a book leave me speechless.
I’ll pull some highlights to give you a feel for it. Reminder: this was a digital advance reader’s copy so the final published version could be slightly different.
I was able to comprehend Almaas’ thoughts about our “true nature” and most of the passages I highlighted talk about it: “Whether we recognize it as presence or awareness or emptiness, true nature is crucial to the process of awakening, realization, enlightenment, and liberation. It is the source of all spiritual experiences, insights, and transformations.” loc 116-133.
The bits of alchemy that Almaas did discuss were illuminating: “When we are experiencing ourselves as true nature, we realize that a human being is really the alchemical laboratory. The human being, the human consciousness, the human mind, the human heart are the instruments through which the magician works.” loc 186.
Most books that discuss alchemy are symbols heaped upon symbols. Perhaps it’s just the nature of the topic, but it’s frustrating.
About the philosophers’ stone: “The alchemists spent millennia trying to find it. They considered it the final result of the magnum opus, the great work of spiritual and material transmutation. Some alchemists thought they could make it, others believed it had to be discovered. … I am not teaching anything about alchemy here; I am borrowing the idea because it fits with what I am trying to say about true nature. … We can only experience true nature in the manifold ways it presents itself, and yet it is always one thing.” loc 666
I felt like this next quotation encompassed my experience of this book: “Sometimes we can rapidly absorb a teaching, and other times we can’t get very far with it for a long time. But we don’t need to get into a mental struggle with the ideas and the notions. Although understanding is an important part of awakening, it need not happen immediately.” loc 922.
So, that’s a relief. Perhaps my awakening is still on its way. Until then, I’ll just chill where I am.
Jenny Lawson may not appeal to all readers, but I love her stuff. Her books are like open diaries and sometimes you just have to look away, but I always find myself looking back. I loved her first book and this one was even better.
In addition to being, in my opinion, uproariously funny, Jenny is a poster child for the millions who suffer silently from mental illness and the social stigma that goes along with that. She has more than embraced her condition, she’s transcended it into a weird alternate reality with grinning, taxidermied raccoons and brown (not white) Pegasuses with back herpes.
Though she obviously has her dark moments, Jenny’s world seems a lot more fun than the ordinary world. That in itself is miraculous when you consider the sheer amount of mental anguish that she’s lived through. I think Jenny gives people with debilitating mental illnesses hope- that they too can live a life filled with laughter, quirkiness and fun despite any obstacles.
It’s weird but my favorite part was the bit about Japanese toilets. I googled it and found out that Japanese toilets are a for-real “thing”- those buttons, squirting water and all. So, in addition to being entertaining and inspiring, this book could also be considered educational. 🙂
This book gave me so many “ah-ha” moments that after a hundred pages I started to feel like an idiot. Why did I assume that so many of these little “life after baby” marital frustrations had only ever happened to me?
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids made me feel like I was part of a larger group called ‘mothers who try to do it all and feel secretly guilty that they can’t and wonder how everybody else does it.’ What a relief to know it wasn’t just me.
Dunn weaves her personal stories in with interviews from experts in fields as diverse as couples’ counseling to organizational gurus on a quest to save her sanity and her marriage from the hole that it had fallen into post-baby.
She is largely successful and gives plenty of tips that readers can incorporate immediately into their lives.
But, I was bothered by the, what I interpreted as, straight-up manipulation of her husband. Yes, Dunn is simply following expert advice, but reading about her self-satisfied crowing as she changes some of his more irritating behaviors felt disrespectful.
I mean, husband Tom is going to read this book.
I would feel devastated if my spouse wrote those sorts of things about me for millions of people to read and dissect. Granted, he was clued in that things were being recorded in a tell-all book, but still.
“When I was six months pregnant with my daughter, I had lunch with a group of friends, all of whom were eager to pass along their hard-won scraps of parental wisdom. … ” … get ready to hate your husband,” said my friend Lauren. … Wrong, I told her calmly… But my friend Lauren was right.” locs 115-140 ebook.
We joke about how babies change lives but it’s not really funny, is it. It is a legit problem that marital happiness decreases because of less sleep, less money, less time, less sex… no need to go on.
Dunn begins her efforts to change her situation when she realizes that she’s reached a breaking point.
“Our daughter is now six, and Tom and I still have endless, draining fights. Why do I have the world’s tiniest fuse when it comes to the division of childcare and household labor? I am baffled that things have turned out this way.” loc 158.
In cringe-inducing honesty, Dunn admits to being verbally abusive to her spouse. My stomach actually churned when I read the sorts of things that she’d call him during fights.
That part of the memoir made me very glad that she decided she didn’t want to live like that because I know that I wouldn’t have wanted that either.
I learned a lot about “maternal gatekeeping,” a pernicious practice where a mother discourages fathers from interacting with their children because of an internal belief that she knows better how to do EVERYTHING. And also, I learned about the importance of blocking time on weekends for personal rejuvenation and rest.
“And must we be compulsively busy every second of the day, briskly doing something “useful”? Nonstop activity can be addictive, but it’s a mistake, warns the University of Houston’s Brene Brown, a mom of two.” loc 1697.
Word. Everybody needs to chill out, calm down and unwind.
We also need to appreciate each other more.
At the end of the day and on the other side of all of the experts, Dunn comes to a dozen important realizations. One of which, appreciation, seems to be the magic bullet for most of her formerly-insurmountable marriage woes. It isn’t a new message but it is one that is worth repeating.
Recommended for parents of all ages, How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids contains wisdom for just about every troublesome situation that one may find themselves in after children. Let’s hope the book can live up to its title.
Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for a free digital copy of this book. And thank you for reading!
The Zen of You and Me takes on conflict mediation through zen philosophy. I learned a lot about managing conflict but more about myself and why, perhaps, I tend to avoid it. Hamilton is never preachy, but gently guides the reader through the dark woods of differences into the clear fields of appreciation and inclusion.
“It is a very freeing experience to suddenly realize that a difference between us is not only OK- it is stimulating and worthwhile. This realization heights our confidence to bring them out directly and openly.” loc 180.
Hamilton talks about leading classes through difficult discussions about race and privilege. The group only manages to make their way through it when one of the members expresses his desire to be heard and the others in the group allow themselves to listen.
But it isn’t easy to listen. You might be angry or otherwise triggered by what you’re listening to. Hamilton addresses that: “Threat provokes such intense sensations in our body and mind that sitting still seems wildly counter intuitive and impossible. But the first step is to learn to sit still and simply pay attention.” loc 310. Mindfulness provides the way out.
I also learned that I’m not as good a listener as I could potentially be. Hamilton provides some excellent advice for improving your skills: “Listening has a lot in common with meditation. Both involve a clear intention of bringing attention to this moment, receiving input, and letting go of the preoccupations of the self. … My first impulse was to tell her it was OK; everything would be all right. Then it occurred to me that she didn’t want to hear that. … I distinctly remember the warm sensation of letting go move through me.” loc 377.
I’ve started practicing not listening to answer but listening to listen. I surprised myself with how often my mind was racing away somewhere else as soon as another person opened her mouth. But, now that I know I do that, I can focus on changing that behavior. Thanks Diane Musho Hamilton!
I expect that now I’ll experience my loved ones in wholly new ways. “Anytime we express our real thoughts and feelings, it creates more truth and reveals a bigger perspective. And anytime someone else shares their truth with us, we should be grateful that we are given the opportunity to see and feel more than we did before. It is a privilege to feel.” loc 511. It is a privilege, isn’t it.
Hamilton talks about one of her students who set an intention to not lose her temper but was then hijacked by her emotions: “Her conditioned patterns are her suffering, like mine are mine, and yours are yours. I invited her to include them, to love them, because this practice is love.” loc 1331. So, it’s not about banging yourself into shape or forcing yourself to become something you’re not. It is more like becoming who you naturally are- which is freedom, joy, love and boundlessness.
Recommended for those who struggle with conflict within themselves or between themselves and others. The Zen of You and Me is helpful, succinct, beautiful and very zen.
Thank you to NetGalley and Shambhala Publishing for a free digital copy of this book. And thank you for reading!
Anthony R. Palumbi’s memoir is about video games, relationships and play/life balance.
Blood Plagues and Endless Raids took a chapter for me to warm up to it. Palumbi begins his homage to World of Warcraft with an icky story about driving to meet his guild mates for the first time. But once I got past that part, I enjoyed this gaming memoir quite a lot.
I’ve mentioned in previous reviews that I am, or used to be, a very dedicated player of Everquest, both one and two. Though it never had the mammoth popularity of WoW, Everquest had quite a few things in common with the mega-hit including some game dynamics and gamer-speak. So, I found myself nodding along most of the time.
You don’t have to be a gamer to appreciate this memoir. Palumbi explains every slang term and technique that pops up. He also delves deeply into game morality, relationships in MMORPGs (massive multiplayer online role playing games), addictions, game burnout, the notable players and even how WoW entered popular culture. It is an informative and, for readers like me, a nostalgic treat.
Even though, in-game, Palumbi and I would have moved in entirely different circles. He’s a raider, you see. This means he’s into end-game content which in the old days took 40 or so players coordinating, in sometimes very complex ways, to master. I, on the other hand, prefer to wander around and see what there is to see. I like to fish and chat and have fun. Palumbi likes to PvP, strut his stuff in his rare gear and order the main tank around.
Beneath these differences though, there runs a love for gaming and the social-ness of it. He, and I, don’t have that anymore. People have moved on, had families and gone to different games. When I log onto EQ2, there’s not a single person on that I know anymore. It is very sad in some ways.
“Those who match up through games have come to know each other very well long before meeting in person. … WoW romance served, ironically, as a kind of return to romantic tradition, with separation or impossibility as a core component.” loc 467. Have I mentioned that I met my spouse in-game? Let me tell you the tale.
So, I was wandering beneath the trees of Kelethin (a newbie zone for wood elves) and I was stuck in a perpetual corpse run loop. This was back when death had a cost- you’d die and lose every piece of equipment on your body unless you could go back to the scene and click your corpse. My friend had made me a nice leather piece of armor and I didn’t want to admit to him that I died and lost it, so I was looking for myself, literally. But, I was near Orc Hill and, well, I had died maybe half a dozen times looking for that tunic.
In the midst of this bloodbath, I get this ‘tell’ out of the blue (in WoW they’re called ‘whispers’) by this guy who goes “Hey, do you need some help?” And I experienced a moment of utter panic because I had always been told that people online were dangerous. But I threw caution, and my pride really, to the wind and said, “Yeah, I do.”
So these random guys helped me find most of my corpses and, as I logged on over the next couple of weeks, I met the rest of their friends. One of whom is the man I ended up marrying.
As many people as the games brought together, they also drove people apart. “Choosing a game over another person’s feelings felt strange enough on its own; to have one of my best real-life friends applauding this decision was disconcerting. At the same time, it was rewarding to hear that kind of praise from someone who’d always been so much better at games.” loc 661. I knew people who dropped out of college because of MMORPGs, lost their jobs or their relationships. Another sad reality, but true.
Palumbi also delves briefly into the gender divide on video games and how females are treated differently than their male counterparts. I honestly think that most people assumed I was a guy playing because it was more common. The last thing my future husband said before he flew out to meet me was “You are really a girl, right?” and I had to laugh. Because, REALLY, I am. So, I dealt with some harassment and discrimination because of my gender, but not a horrific amount. Sometimes it seems like I was in the lucky minority.
Weird, wild and wonderful. This is a collection of the best in science fiction and fantasy art from 2004. From giant robots in apocalyptic landscapes to hooded figures seated on thrones of skulls, to a normal looking boy encountering a monster in the forest and an ice skating rabbit watching pixies fly away with treasures- the art is beyond description in most cases.
The Help Desk Book Blog 