How to Be Dull: Standing Out Next to Genius by Basil Morley, Esq.

How to Be Dull: Standing Out Next to Genius is one of the funniest books I’ve read this year.

I read a lot of self help, self improvement, self actualization books and How to Be Dull shines a hilariously dark spotlight on the myriad benefits of staying just as you are. The humor is dry and the delivery is completely serious and matter-of-fact, rather like a Monty Python classroom sketch.

It is also surprisingly educational.

Do you know why we remember Chaucer’s name but so very few of his contemporaries? : “…Chaucer succeeded by adapting Italian masters, appropriating a wide range of old folk tales, mixing them with Greek myth, writing in the vernacular rather than hoity-toity Latin or snooty French, and adding a wide range of characters to represent the whole of modern 14th century life from the top to the bottom… He was a true original, though one must admit his originality was made of things familiar mixed up, changed, innovated and slapped together in wholly unexpected ways.” loc 68, ebook.

It’s so true! People don’t want new stuff- they want old stuff repackaged to look new. How dull is that. Chaucer knew what was up.

This whole dull thing is very appealing to introverts: “Be dull. Be boring. Make no splash. Make no waves. Put your head down and do the work you wish to do and present such a bland face to the world that they leave you in peace to get on with it. Do not make the mistake of seeing this as some kind of capitulation. You are not defeated if you are dull. You merely refuse, wisely, to spend your precious time convincing others of your originality.” loc 105.

Being left in peace to do what I want to do- now there’s a philosophy I can get behind.

If you were curious as to the enduring popularity of socialites who don’t seem to contribute in any meaningful way to society, Morley suggests that it is because of dull people just like you and me.

Imagine our importance! : “Be below notice. For you will find it easy to make your way unseen into important places, for the truth is the appeal of these ‘personalities’ is their true blandness. They are screens upon which we project our home movies of illusion. And they need dull people to make them sparkle.” loc 168, ebook.

I do enjoy an author who isn’t afraid to put in a good word for themselves: “How to explain this conundrum without falling into dullness myself and losing your attention? I do wish to teach you to be dull, but you must attend to my brief lesson long enough to say, ‘Yes I read that book and I rather liked it’ so you can recommend it on ReadGood or whatever those places are before you go back to sipping your own martini and forget all about my delicious tome.” loc 796, ebook.

Ah, self promotion, the height of dullness. Now, back to my martini…

Let’s end with Morley’s exhortation to be a “shining example” to those who try to stand out from the crowd: “It helps one to know that whilst one appears to be useless and idle, one can congratulate him or herself on being a shining example to those who would wish to be extraordinary. It is the normal thing, or should I say the usual thing.” loc 923, ebook.

Know anybody who forgets to laugh about the silliness that is the self improvement rat-race? I have just found the perfect Christmas present for them. You’re welcome. 🙂

Some more humorous books about popular culture: The Joy of Leaving Your Sh*t All Over the Place: The Art of Being Messy or The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do. But, How to Be Dull is superior to either of those books because the author never wavers from his/her beautifully worded, high brow observations or resorts to vulgarity to make a point.

Thank you to NetGalley and Women’s League of Ale Drinkers Publishing for a free digital copy of this book. (What a great name for a publishing firm, by the way.) And, thank you for reading!

Some Kind of Fairy Tale by Graham Joyce

Some Kind of Fairy Tale is a fantasy set in modern times. Peter is a farrier (shoes horses and fixes small, metallic things). He has a lovely wife and four beautiful children. He also has a sister whom he hasn’t seen for nearly twenty years, presumed dead. Imagine his surprise, when she shows up at their parent’s home on Christmas Day. Where has she been? Where indeed…

The magic in this book isn’t in your face, it’s hidden in the shadows and rocks of the woods and glens- very much like I imagine magic really is: “The Outwoods was one of the last remaining pockets of ancient forest… It was an eerie place, swinging between sunlight and damp, flaring light and shadow; a venue of twisted trees, its volcanic slopes of ash and granite ruptured by mysterious outcropping crags of the very oldest rocks in Britain.” pg 14, ebook.

I loved the twists and turns of the story and it had me questioning myself the entire time. Is Tara bonkers, injured in some way, or did something outside of her power actually spirit her away? “There is a veil to this world, thin as smoke, and it draws back occasionally and when it does we can see incredible things.” pg 142, ebook.

I also loved how Joyce used quotations from poetry, books, and an actual trial where a man was convicted of killing his wife because he thought she was a changeling (can you imagine?!) to introduce a few of the chapters. It was chilling- the deadly combination of superstition and violence and the trial in question happened, not in the dark ages, but 1895. Here’s Joseph Campbell’s thoughts that preface Chapter Twenty-Six: “Nevertheless- and here is a great key to the understanding of myth and symbol- the two kingdoms are actually one. The realm of the gods is a forgotten dimension of the world we know.” pg 169, ebook.

I did not like the surprising vulgarity of this tale, the few violent moments it contains, or when something terrible happens to a neighborhood cat but, if such things don’t bother you, you really must give Some Kind of Fairy Talea try. If you don’t already, it makes you believe in the possibility of other worlds and every day magic.

Some books with similar themes: Meeting the Other Crowd (non-fiction, but reads like fiction), Fairies: Real Encounters With Little People (non-fiction, again, reads like fiction) or Passport to Magonia: On UFOs, Folklore, and Parallel Worlds (classic work on real people and actual encounters with other worlds).

Thanks for reading!

Happiness and Other Small Things of Absolute Importance by Haim Shapira

Happiness and Other Small Things of Absolute Importance does not resemble a self help book as much as it does a long, meandering lecture by your favorite professor.

Shapira talks about happiness, the passage of time, love, death, money, and so much more by tying it to classic literature and his own musings. I loved it.

There is little that Shapira doesn’t cover in these pages and, when you’re done, you feel as if you’ve just had a long discussion with a very dear friend.

“This little book is meant to change your perspective on almost everything in your life- and primarily the concept of happiness. … As serious and life-changing as the voyage to the land of the Things That Matter may be, it’s no less important to enjoy the ride.” loc 27, ebook. Shapira succeeds with flying colors.

His humor shines through his words. There aren’t any laugh-out-loud moments, but I found myself grinning throughout: “There’s empirical proof that How-To-Be-Happy Books are useless. If just a shred of the promises made in many of those books came true, the world would be knee-deep in incomprehensible quantities of bliss. We all know that this is not the case.” loc 73, ebook. True story.

My favorite parts were about the importance of a positive mind-set and love.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

This passage is about being positive: “Anyone who has lived on this planet long enough knows that pessimism is the natural way to think. It requires no effort, like a rock rolling downhill. It’s much harder to push the rock up the hill, to think positively. Just see the effort it takes to think like (Winnie the) Pooh, to find a bit of magic and grace in everything. That is a mission worthy of the wise.” loc 387 I agree.

I also found the sections on anger and forgiveness to be very meaningful.

Here, Shapira is talking about the futility of being angry and how we can learn to control our tempers, rather than have them control us: “My wife, a chemical engineer by profession, has reached an important understanding. In nature, she told me, each substance has a typical, unique and fixed boiling point. We can artificially change it, however, by using other substances that act as inhibitors, thereby raising the boiling point. For example, anyone who cooks knows that salted water takes longer to boil than water alone. The same applies to people. Their boiling points can be raised. Wisdom can be salt for our water…” loc 610, ebook.

Recommended for spiritual seekers, happiness chasers, and anyone who wants to learn more about themselves. This book is a gem.

Thank you to NetGalley and Watkins Publishing for a free digital copy of this book. And, thank you for reading!

The Sound of Gravel by Ruth Wariner

The Sound of Gravel is in the running for my favorite book club read this year! (Bull Mountain is the other pick I really enjoyed.)

It is Ruth Warnier’s memoir about her poverty-stricken childhood in a polygamist cult in Mexico, her dysfunctional mother, abusive step-father, and struggle for survival along with her many siblings.

She pulls you in, first line: “I am my mother’s fourth child and my father’s thirty-ninth.” pg 10, ebook. I read that sentence to my husband and his reaction was, “Are you reading a book about royalty?” Unfortunately, no.

Ruthie’s father was a founding member of the “Firstborns”, a polygamist group that broke away from the Mormon church. He believed that, in order to live in the manner that God intended, men are supposed to have multiple wives and as many children as possible, to become like gods in the next life. He lived what he preached.

But, unlike members of royal families, Ruthie’s father, and later her stepfather, did not have the resources available to allow his wives to live in houses with running water or electricity. It is a hard existence but Ruth’s parents live it because of their faith.

“After all,” she said, “it is better to have ten percent of one good man than to have one hundred percent of a bad one.” The women of LeBaron (the colony in Mexico) were always saying that…” pg 12, ebook. But what about ten percent of a bad man…

At first, Ruth’s stepfather seems almost normal: “Everyone in the colony was always saying how Lane had a strong work ethic. He spent every day milking cows, planting and baling hay, fixing tractors, trucks, and other equipment- all of which broke down regularly. But in spite of all his hard work, he never made enough money to provide for his eleven kids and stepchildren.” pg 21, ebook.

And his family grew larger than that quite quickly. But, after a short time, he begins to show his true self.

It’s hard to imagine the level of poverty that Ruth and her family endured. Every month, her mother and all of her brothers and sisters made their way by bus from Mexico to the US to collect government assistance. The trip took all day and when they got back, if stepfather Lane did not show up at the bus stop to pick them up, they had to walk a mile home.

“The rest of us followed silently, watching and listening as Mom took a wide step over the highway shoulder and onto the dirt road, the gravel crunching beneath her footsteps, the sound of home.” pg 29, ebook.

Ruth’s mother tries to do what she can for her children but there’s only so much a perpetually pregnant, struggling mother of five (or more) can do. Some of Ruth’s siblings suffer from disabilities that make it dangerous for them to be left alone with any of the younger ones. After reading what her childhood was like, I am simply amazed that Ruth survived to write this book.

Major trigger warnings for sensitive readers: there are some seriously disturbing scenes of child abuse and domestic violence. But, it is worth the read.

The Sound of Gravel is ultimately uplifting, inspiring, and I highly recommend it. A few similar memoirs: Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis , Pigs Can’t Swim, or A Girl Named Zippy.

Thanks for reading!

Funeral Games by Colin Heintze

Funeral Games is a unique, fantastical romp through a medieval world. Syphax is a prince, but an unimportant one, being the younger son of one of his father’s many wives. He doesn’t excel in much of anything, other than reading and daydreams of greatness (reminds me of myself in some ways… I jest… but really). Syphax is a member of the nobility who are called the Undying because, when they shuffle off this mortal coil, they rise again as tangible ghosts called ancestors. These ancestors help govern the living and form another spooky faction in the sprawling complex of the capital city that is Ingerval Palace. The walls of the palace are filled with dead and living nobility who are divided into many different houses with a tangled history of treaties and backstabbing, all with the goal of more power for the members of their clan. The future looks, if not bright, then at least rosy, for our hero, Syphax, until, at one very memorable funeral celebration, something completely unexpected happens. And then, all hell breaks loose inside and outside the walls of Ingerval.

I loved the juxtaposition of the living and the dead in Funeral Games. It added a whole other level of political machinations to the usual struggles of a monarchy and its nobility. Here is the scene at one of the funerals: “The crowd roared with laughter- at least the Living among them. The Dead sat at their assigned places. They didn’t eat or drink, and weren’t the least bit amused by the antics of their descendants. There must have been two hundred ghosts and at least as many Living in attendance. Normally, the Dead kept their own company, but the day was a special one.” loc 56, ebook. I also loved how, in the course of the story, Heintze dealt with the ghost’s eternal nature, limitations, and struggle for recognition beyond the grave. It really is unlike anything else I’ve ever read.

There is a love interest in this but it doesn’t dominate the storyline or descend into the ridiculous. In fact, the girl/heroine, though she doesn’t play a huge part, is kind of hard core, which is a refreshing change of pace for the genre. In this passage, she’s talking to Syphax about one of the ancestors: “I feel like he watches me, Syphax.” “You’re in a palace full of ghosts. It’s natural to feel that way.” “Sometimes I have these dreams. And when I wake up, he’s always nearby…” … “It will be fine,” I said. “He’s harmless. All ghosts are.” loc 136, ebook. (suspenseful music building…)

My favorite part of Ingerval is, of course, the Library! “Ingerval Palace had many wonders. None were as great, nor so underappreciated, as the Library. Books were one of the few pleasures afforded to ghosts, and the Dead’s demand for the written word made Ingerval the world’s leader in the production, purchase, and dissemination of books.” loc 367, ebook. I would fit in well with the Undying, I think.

There is some rough language in this, some tense moments, and a small, if not too graphic, torture scene, so I’d suggest a reading audience of 14/15+ depending on the maturity level of the reader. I’d recommend Funeral Games for not-too-serious fantasy fans as it lacks the complexity of, say, the Malazan books, but for some folks (myself included), that may be considered a plus. Some similar reading: The Interminables by Paige Orwin (a ghost plays a large part in this story too), Ink Mage by Victor Gischler (fantasy world, lots of adventure), or The Quick by Lauren Owen (different time period, but also a fantasy).

Thank you to NetGalley and Curiosity Quills Press for a free digital copy of this book. And, thank you for reading!

Snow White, Blood Red by Ellen Datlow

Full credits for Snow White, Blood Red by Ellen Datlow (Editor), Terri Windling (Editor), Elizabeth A. Lynn (Contributor), Harvey Jacobs (Contributor), Steve Rasnic Tem (Contributor), Melanie Tem (Contributor), Caroline Stevermer (Contributor), Ryan Edmonds (Contributor) , Neil Gaiman (Contributor), Leonard Rysdyk (Contributor), Esther M. Friesner (Contributor)

This is a very adult collection of fairy tale re-tellings. From Little Red Riding Hood to Snow White, these are not stories that I’d share with my child or any impressionable young mind.

Fairy tales haven’t always been exclusively for children as Terri Windling explains in the introduction: “..most fairy tales were never initially intended for nursery duty. They have been put there, as J.R.R. Tolkien so evocatively expressed it, like old furniture fallen out of fashion that grown-ups no longer want. And like furniture vanished to the children’s playroom, the tales that have been banished from the mainstream of modern adult literature have suffered misuse as well as neglect.” pg 2

But fairy tales are important because they touch on dreams, archetypes, and the psyche. However, these re-workings were far more bleak than I expected. “The fairy tale journey may look like an outward trek across plains and mountains, through castles and forests, but the actual movement is inward, into the lands of the soul.” pg 10. And personally, I think that the soul is a rather light place.

The most disturbing of the bunch, in my mind was, Little Redby Wendy Wheeler, which told a tale of sexual relations between a mother/wolfish boyfriend/daughter. (A warning for any sensitive readers, triggers abound in these stories from rape to physical/sexual/emotional abuse towards adults as well as children.) “Before she climbed in, Helen looked in my face as though something in my smile disturbed her. “I’ve never noticed before what white teeth you have, Josef,” she murmured. “So large and white.” pg 140 The only saving grace for the darkness of these tales are that they’re short and you’re soon on to the next one.

My favorite was Puss by Esther M. Friesner: an excellent but nightmarish re-imaging of Puss-n-Boots. “Help! Help, ho!” My paws flailed the air; I brandished my plumed hat to make the coachmen see so small a creature as a cat before the horses trampled me. “Robbers, thieves, rascals and hounds! They have despoiled my good master, the Marquis of Carrabas!” pg 319

A close second was Troll Bridge by Neil Gaiman, based on The Three Billy Goats Gruff. His depiction of a troll was creepy but magical, that curious blend of two unrelated traits that Gaiman crafts so well. “Trolls can small the rainbows, trolls can smell the stars,” it whispered, sadly. “Trolls can smell the dreams you dreamed before you were ever born. Come close to me and I’ll eat your life.” pg 286

Recommended for ages 18+ and the brave at heart. Some read-alikes, if you dare: The Book of Ballads by Charles Vess, Alice by Christina Henry or The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins.

Thanks for reading!

The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Frankly, I got tired of my husband quoting this and having no idea what he was talking about. So, Heidi-the-Hippie-Librarian picked up The Art of War. I must love him a great deal because this was so not my thing though I valiantly struggled my way through it. I’d say about three quarters of the book was commentary and translation quibbles on the text itself, which is really rather brief and kind of pretty in a “this is how you kill a bunch of people” sort of way.

My big take-aways from this were:
1 Pay attention to where you are and what’s going on around you all the time, especially in war. And also be super sneaky about what you’re going to do. “..concealing courage under a show of timidity presupposes a fund of latent energy; masking strength with weakness is to be effected by tactical dispositions. Thus one who is skillful at keeping the enemy on the move maintains deceitful appearances, according to which the enemy will act.” loc 1143

2 If you have to fight, do it fast because it’s too expensive to do for long.“There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged war.” loc 822, ebook.

3 Everybody uses spies and if you don’t, then you’re going to lose because the other guy is for sure using spies.

4 Be flexible and make the call as things happen. Don’t stick to orders from an emperor who’s really far away because he doesn’t know what the heck is going on like you do. “Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing. Therefore, just as water retains no constant shape, so in warfare there are no constant conditions.” loc 1296, ebook.

5 Know who you are and who you’re fighting. This knowledge makes you strong so other people can’t determine your future. Use it to win your war.“The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.” loc 1542, ebook.

6 Have a vision beyond what is right in front of you and guide yourself toward it, one good decision at a time. “To see victory only when it is within the ken of the common herd is not the acme of excellence. Neither is it the acme of excellence if you fight and conquer and the whole Empire says, “Well done!” To lift an autumn hair is no sign of great strength; to see the sun and moon is no sign of sharp sight; to hear the noise of thunder is no sign of a quick ear. What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.”loc 1011-1030, ebook

7 The place that you fight is very important as well as the officer who is calling the shots and telling you which way to go. If either of these things suck, you’re in trouble. “The natural formation of the country is the soldier’s best ally; but a power of estimating the adversary, of controlling the forces of victory, and of shrewdly calculating difficulties, dangers and distances, constitutes the test of a great general.” loc 1886, ebook.

8 Knowing small details about the enemy is very important. For example, if the dudes you’re going to war against put their pots and pans away, they’re planning on dying in battle. Who knew, right? “When an army feeds its horses with grain and kills its cattle for food, and when the men do not hang their cooking-pots over the campfires, showing that they will not return to their tents, you may know that they are determined to fight to the death.” loc 1752, ebook.

So, that’s The Art of War. Now back to my regularly scheduled reading. 🙂 And, thank you for reading.

How The Secret Changed My Life: Real People. Real Stories. by Rhonda Byrne

How the Secret Changed My Life adds nothing new to the Secret franchise, but it’s still fun to read if you enjoy hearing success stories about people who utilized the Law of Attraction.

The criticisms of it have been voiced elsewhere and more eloquently: that it is predominantly focused on material things and that it stresses being happy at any cost.

That being said, I liked the stories.

I liked hearing about how people hit rock bottom and then changed their lives for the better. I really liked hearing that you can do or have or be anything that you want. Who wouldn’t?

Here’s Rhonda in the introduction: “I want you to know how easily you can change your life, and it’s not by running around trying to force it into the shape you want. You change your life in the only way you can ever change it: change your mind, and then your life will change.” loc 47, ebook.

All true change comes from within, I do believe that. Until I typed this out, I didn’t realize just how many times she used the word “change” in those two sentences. Counting back I see… five times? That’s a lot of change, people.

I feel like this book warns the reader away from negative emotions, but they serve a purpose too. It gives you a starting point- if you know what you don’t want, then you know what you do.

I’m not suggesting that you wallow in negative emotion, but feeling it, acknowledging it, then moving on isn’t as bad as this book makes it out to be.

In this passage, Rhonda is suggesting the use of “Secret Shifters” to control your mood: “The Secret Shifters… are things you can focus on whenever you find yourself feeling angry, frustrated, or any other negative emotion, in order to change those negative feelings in an instant. They might be beautiful memories, future events, funny moments, nature, a person you love, or your favorite music.” loc 409, ebook.

I say: feel whatever you’re feeling and trust that your emotions will eventually rise again like a cork in water. Helping yourself along with “Secret Shifters” or gratitude lists or whatever is fine, but for goodness sake, don’t force it. “What you resist, persists.”

I really agreed with this next passage: “Most of us have the wrong idea about happiness. We believe that if we get everything we want, and if life continually goes our way, we will be happy. And from that belief, we create all the excuses in the world for why we can’t be happy right now. … It’s those very excuses that are preventing you from being happy now.” loc 457, ebook.

I used to do that- looking forward to circumstances or events and ignoring where I was. The journey really is the point, so why not be happy now?

Recommended for readers who are looking for a quick, uplifting read about the Law of Attraction or for those who are interested in getting started but don’t necessarily believe or know how it works. The latter, in particular, may find a great deal of worth in these pages.

As I said, I liked it, but I’d also recommend reading Abraham Hick’s books too: to learn the value of negative emotion, not be afraid of feeling your full emotions, and to learn not to practice affirmations unless you’re feeling “in the zone” so to speak.

Additional reading: The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships and Co-creating at Its Best: A Conversation Between Master Teachers.

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books publishing for a free copy of this book! And, thank you for reading.

Voracious: A Hungry Reader Cooks Her Way through Great Books by Cara Nicoletti

Voracious is so much fun. It is a foodie’s honest and open-hearted memoir in which she weaves literary themed recipes each chapter and gives a brief summary of the novel that included it.

Pair this with Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist and you’ve got the makings of a bookworm’s dream feast!

The chapters from Cara’s childhood were some of my favorites because they were so relatable. “I cooked and read my way through awkward middle school years, first love, devastating heartbreaks, loss, and change. As I grew older, though, reading and cooking became the forces that broke me out of my shell, allowing me to form strong relationships and connect to the world around me.” pg 5, ebook.

Or this part, when she and her friends find Grimm’s Fairy Tales in the attic: “We were heavily into mysteries and ghost stories at the time, and when we found the book we were certain that we had discovered some dark secret that my parents had tried to keep under lock and key.” pg 13, ebook.

I know that feeling- when I was ten or eleven, I found a copy of Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine that Grandma had loaned to my mother and I had read half of it before Mom discovered me, contently turning pages in the summer sun.

She took it away saying, “This is too old for you.” Some humbug mothers, hmph. I learned to hide when I was reading anything that I thought she wouldn’t want me to. Can’t keep a bookworm down.

In this passage, Cara talks about the culinary conundrum of gingerbread houses: “You toil and sweat, smelling good smells and touching sticky dough and mixing sweet icing for hours and your only reward is visual. It seems so wrong.” pg 15, ebook. I’ve always thought that too!

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

If I try any of the recipes in here, it’s going to be: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie- Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies (pg 34, ebook) or To Kill a Mockingbird: Biscuits with Molasses Butter (pg 93, book).

I think that some of the huge list of offerings in this book are only for “brave” kitchen people. Cara includes recipes for homemade doughnuts, ice cream, chocolate eclairs… things that I don’t think I’ll ever gear myself up to attempt. But, she makes me want to try and I suppose that is half of the battle.

Highly recommended for anybody who likes to eat, read, or do both at the same time. I would guess that’s pretty much everybody.

Thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: Reviews

How to Be Dull: Standing Out Next to Genius by Basil Morley, Esq.

Some Kind of Fairy Tale by Graham Joyce

Happiness and Other Small Things of Absolute Importance by Haim Shapira

The Sound of Gravel by Ruth Wariner

Funeral Games by Colin Heintze

Snow White, Blood Red by Ellen Datlow

The Art of War by Sun Tzu

How The Secret Changed My Life: Real People. Real Stories. by Rhonda Byrne

Voracious: A Hungry Reader Cooks Her Way through Great Books by Cara Nicoletti

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