Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World by Pema Chödrön

“We are at a time when old systems and ideas are being questioned and falling apart, and there is a great opportunity for something fresh to emerge. I have no idea what that will look like and no preconceptions about how things should turn out, but I do have a strong sense that the time we live in is a fertile ground for training in being open-minded and open-hearted.” pg 28

The incomparable Buddhist nun and teacher, Pema Chödrön, interprets the dharma and applies it in the various challenging circumstances of modern life. From polarization to living in the now, comfort zones and boredom, Chödrön challenges practitioners to question their deeply entrenched beliefs by applying new lenses of perception. Change within, she says, and you will see changes in the world.

“Trungpa Rinpoche said that the way to arouse bodhichitta was to “begin with a broken heart.” Protecting ourselves from pain – our own and that of others – has never worked. Everybody wants to be free from their suffering, but the majority of us go about it in ways that only make things worse.” pg 4

Remembering this shared struggle to find relief from suffering is one of the many ways Chödrön breaks down the problematic mindset of us vs. them. She gives plenty of tips for remembering the sacred within oneself and everyone else. One of the simple ones that stuck with me was, when you see someone suffering, say to yourself, “just like me.”

Stuck in traffic but don’t want to be? Everyone around you is too. They’re just like you. Irritated by developments on the world stage? There are others who are just like you. Have a cold and just want to get some uninterrupted sleep? Think of the thousands out there who are just like you.

“… if we gradually increase our capacity to be present with our pain and the sufferings of the world, we will surprise ourselves with our growing sense of courage. In our practice of cultivating a broken heart, we can incrementally build the strength and skill to handle more and more.” pg 6

What I like most about Chödrön’s books is that she isn’t afraid to talk about how she has stumbled with the various teachings in her own life. She takes a clear look at her foibles and, instead of hiding them where no one else can see them, she uses her failings to propel herself and others forward.

For example, Chödrön relates how, when she first became the director of an abbey in Nova Scotia, she thought the kitchen was a disaster. She put all of these rules in place to organize and clean the kitchen, yet it was never good enough. She confesses going down to the kitchen at night after everyone was asleep in order to organize the drawers without their knowledge. Yet even with all of those struggles, the kitchen remained as it was.

So, instead of fighting it further, she relaxed into the belief that the problem was not with the kitchen or anyone in it, but her own perception of the kitchen.

“I said to myself, “I don’t care if the whole place is a mess. I’m going to work on my propensity to label things in negative ways, such as ‘dirty’ and ‘disorganized.’ I’m going to pay more attention to how I project my own version of reality onto the world.” pg 74

And this self examination altered her view of reality. “Instead of my whole being going into a knot of contraction, I felt relaxed and happy in there. It was a miracle.” pg 74

What sorts of things do you view as disorganized kitchens in your own life?

Highly recommended for readers interested in Buddhist teachings or improving the world around them by change from within.

All the Forgivenesses by Elizabeth Hardinger

From the front of the book: “As we know, forgiveness of oneself is the hardest of all the forgivenesses.” – Joan Baez

Bertie, the heroine of our tale, was the eldest girl born in a family of nine in rural Kentucky in the early 19th century. Because of her gender, her mother taught Bertie everything about keeping house and how to care for children, which Bertie ended up doing all the time to the detriment of everything else, including her education.

“We was living in the Appalachian hills in southeast Kentucky, but I didn’t know that then. It was just the place where we lived at. For all I knowed, it was the whole world.” pg 5

An early childhood tragedy cements in Bertie’s mind that she is unworthy of the trust and scant love her mother gives to her. She carries that burden in her subconscious mind throughout the tragedies that follow and it shapes everything in her life.

Elizabeth Hardinger has penned a beautiful historical fiction novel about family, secrets, struggles and the life-saving power of forgiveness, not just for yourself but for everyone around you. The characters in this book are complex and so flawed that sometimes I wanted to reach into the pages and hug them until they came to their senses.

That’s how you recognize an extraordinary author, they make you care.

“If you was a bawl-baby, you got shamed, you got teased, or people just ignored you like you’d embarrassed yourself, which I reckon bothered me the most of all. … So you learned to hide your feelings or wait till you was out behind the barn and nobody could hear you.” pg 8

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The culture examined in All the Forgivenesses is rural, impoverished and male-dominated, mainly because of the time period. The reader is able to juxtapose Bertie’s tragic situation with her best friend Alta Bea, the daughter of a wealthy banker.

“For sure I hadn’t never met nobody like Alta Bea. I never knowed nobody that had that look in their eyes like she could see into you. It made a person tired and jangled, like somebody was shining an oil lamp in your eyes, but it also give you a feeling of glittering, fluttery things you couldn’t hardly not look at.” pg 52

The girls’ friendship is strained at times and built upon a foundation of mutual loneliness, though Bertie has little to no time in her day-to-day routine to just be a person. It’s fascinating to watch the two characters develop from children to adults and the character traits they drag along with them as well as the ones they leave behind.

The vernacular of All the Forgivenesses was distracting for a page or two, but it started to flow for me after that. I appreciated Hardinger’s skill in making Bertie’s rough-edges part of the story. She’s such a relatable character. You know she wants to live her own life, but with her family’s situation, she just can’t. And yet, for the most part, she loves them anyway.

“Read it, Bertie, you’ll like it,” she said. Hearing somebody use my name – and not to curse me out or ask me for something – I confess that made me glow a little bit.” pg 67

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Highly recommended for readers who enjoy historical fiction or as a book club pick. My book club chose this and we had plenty to talk about – from gender roles to romance to families. Not everyone liked it as much as I did, but I absolutely loved the characters, Bertie being the top of my list.

And I do agree with the opening quotation of this book, “to forgive yourself can be the hardest of all the forgivenesses.” Funny that we, like Bertie, find it easier to extend that to others than to ourselves. I wonder what that ultimately says about us.

Redemption Ark (Revelation Space, #2) by Alastair Reynolds

In Redemption Ark, we return to the universe of Revelation Space in the second book of Alastair Reynolds’ science fiction series. Some of the characters readers will recognize, others are new. As usual, we are treated to Reynolds’ prodigious talent when it comes to heaping helpings of the science part of science fiction.

Those are the best parts of this book: the futuristic space battles and the mysterious machinations of the Inhibitors, machines designed by an alien intelligence to wipe out civilizations that develop the technology to travel among the stars. For the reasoning behind this decision, you’ll have to read the book. 🙂

They had never encountered another extant machine-using intelligence, nothing to measure themselves against. Until now. And what this machine-using intelligence did, so it seemed, was stalk, infiltrate and slaughter, and then invade skulls. pg 7

Humanity has divided itself into distinctive groups during its expansion into space, one of the most notable of these being the Conjoiners, a technologically advanced society that has linked its digital implants in a sort of hive mind. This link created a sort of “enlightenment” and connected the Conjoiners together in ways that aren’t quantifiable by those outside of the group.

“Down at the very deepest level Skade detected a few partitioned private memories that he did not think she could read. For a thrilling instant she was tempted to reach in an edit the man’s own blockades, screening one or two tiny cherished memories from their owner. Skade resisted; it was enough to know that she could.” pg 30

However, not everyone wants to allow the neural Conjoiner implants for fear of the loss of autonomy or privacy (see above) and embrace a more Luddite view of technology. This limited use of technology was pushed further by the appearance of a “melding plague,” an alien infestation that invades technology in an organic manner and consumes it, creating something else.

As you can tell from my rambling, Reynolds has created a universe populated with fascinating cultures, technologies and relationships. My main quibble with this book, as it was with his last, is his seeming inability to write about emotions. The extraordinary breakthrough of the Conjoiners was intimately connected to emotion and sharing it in a way that was impossible prior to the neural implants- an evolution of mankind. Reynolds puts all that depth into one or two lines of one paragraph of the book, which was fascinating to me, but also infuriating.

“Once you’ve touched someone else’s mind, walked through their dreams, seen the world through their eyes, felt the world through their skin… well… there never seemed to be any real need to go back to the old way.” pg 528

He could have written a whole book about that one idea if he wanted to- I’d read it.

Another issue I had was the conclusion, which I won’t spoil for anyone here, but he writes it as almost an afterthought. For more than 500 pages, he built to this spectacular conclusion, which he then tossed away.

I was so mad.

On the other hand, he sets up the next book in the series beautifully, which must have pleased his publisher.

Highly recommended for science fiction readers. There are few who write the science better than Alastair Reynolds, but don’t expect too much in the way of emotional depth or exploration.

Revelation Space (Revelation Space, #1) by Alastair Reynolds

Through the interweaving stories of a scientist, soldier, and weapons expert, Alastair Reynolds explores classic science fiction themes in Revelation Space, a space opera and mystery.

“Despite being buried for nine hundred thousand years – at the very least – the chambers were almost intact, with the bones inside still assuming a rough anatomical relationship to one another. They were typical Amarantin skeletons.” pg 11, ebook

Nearly a million years previous, an entire species called Amarantin disappeared in a mysterious celestial-based disaster called, by those who study the geological record, “The Event”. Dan Sylveste, a scientist with unique machines for eyes, is trying to unearth the truth of what happened to them.

Khouri, a former soldier turned assassin for a semi-secret agency, goes on a routine assignment, only to have the experience turn into something entirely unexpected.

“Assassins, it turned out, had to be among the sanest, most analytic people on the planet. They had to know exactly when a kill would be legal – and when it would cross the sometimes blurred line into murder and send a company’s stocks crashing into the Mulch.” pg 45, ebook

Meanwhile, on an enormous space ship capable of traveling across the universe at nearly the speed of light, Volyova has a serious problem. Her captain has a strange disease that is assimilating his ailing body into the ship itself and the man she hired to run the ship’s guns has gone insane. Could these two disasters be connected somehow?

“It was not something to which she was ever going to become totally accustomed, Volyova knew, but in recent weeks visiting the Captain had begun to take on definite tones of normality. As if visiting a cryogenically cooled corpse infected with a retarded but potentially all-consuming plague was merely one of life’s unpleasant but necessary elements…” pg 35, ebook

Throughout the story, Reynolds asks the reader to imagine a humanity that has split itself into factions. Some groups travel among the stars, assimilating rare machines into their bodies, losing touch with what it means to be human as they spend years in frozen animation while the rest of the universe ages as usual.

Other groups are just as isolated on far-flung planets and develop their own cultures, ways of government, and quickly-shifting alliances.

Photo by Felix Mittermeier on Pexels.com

Also, through the story of the extinct Amarantin, Reynolds examines what it would mean if humanity discovered aliens were real, but mysteriously absent from huge swathes of what is otherwise inhabitable space. Are we really as alone in the universe as we appear to be? And why is that so.

“Something had reached into his mind and spoken to him. But the message that was imparted to him was so brutally alien that Sylveste could not begin to put in human terms. He had stepped into Revelation Space.” pg 100, ebook

The broad themes of Revelation Space are fun questions to ponder, but Reynolds’ storytelling suffers in some of his more technical moments and during a truncated love story. A couple times during the beginning of the book, I had difficulty picturing scenes because I would get so bogged down in the details. But that became easier as the story progressed.

The love story though, was one of the worst I’ve read in science fiction literature. It made me feel like the woman was just a plot device for Reynolds to be able to explain some of the more complex plot twists. That’s fine if that’s what she was meant to be, but it was rather off-putting. I do enjoy a good love story and felt like, if you were going to make it so awkward, maybe it didn’t belong in there.

Otherwise, I enjoyed this read and intend to start the next soon. Highly recommended for readers who enjoy science fiction and stories that make you want to go stand outside and stare at the stars for awhile.

How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease by Michael Greger

I think everybody is aware that your diet has an enormous impact on your health. This book is another reminder that this is true.

Though everyone will one day die, Michael Greger gives some tips to help you live as long and as healthily as possible.

I’m not going to debate the merits of different diets which seem to change as quickly as fads. I think everybody should try to incorporate healthy habits that are right for them as they are able.

How Not to Die is packed with ideas on that front.

I think the most interesting part of this book are the effects that various foods have on the body. But you don’t have to take Greger’s word for it, experiment and see what works for you.

Happy eating 🙂

Promethea, Vol. 2 by Alan Moore

Promethea, Volume 2 was an incredibly disappointing follow-up to a promising comic series.

The reader continues to follow the efforts of Sophie, a student who has learned to channel the spirit of a being of enlightenment named Promethea, while battling demons and other nebulous, bad guys.

We have yet to learn more about the villains of the story, except in brief asides, or Sophie’s allies, some sort of technological heroes.

This entry is bogged down with a lengthy metaphysical poem about the progression of tarot cards and an unexpected tantric sex primer.

My quibbles with the tarot card piece is it is far too simplistic but also too long. Each card can be interpreted a number of different ways, and not just applied to principles of civilization. It is also a metaphor for the soul’s journey, which Alan Moore touches on, but, I feel, never truly explains.

Also, by presenting the whole thing through rhyme, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons to Dr. Seuss. I get what Moore was going for, but it didn’t work for me.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but wonder if the lead character in this story was a guy if we would have been subjected to the tantric stuff at all.

I believe the earthly can be spiritual and the spiritual can be earthly. I think “kundalini rising” is just the lightning flash of inspiration in reverse. But a male hero being pressured into trading his body for secret knowledge? I don’t see it happening.

I liked the first entry of Promethea. I thought it was ground-breaking in the way it depicted a strong female character on a spiritual journey.

This second book simply isn’t of the same quality. Perhaps the series will redeem itself in the next entry. One can only hope.

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making is a modern take on more traditional fairy tales wherein a child finds a way to another world and comes back changed.

I first read the title of this book in Catherynne Valente‘s much more adult novel, Palimpsest. I think it was mentioned as sitting on someone’s book shelf. I remember thinking how I wish I could read that book too. Imagine my surprise to discover it was actually a book in the real world. Of course, I had to pick it up.

“You seem an ill-tempered and irascible enough child,” said the Green Wind. “How would you like to come away with me and ride upon the Leopard of Little Breezes and be delivered to the great sea, which borders Fairyland?” pg 2

How could any heroine refuse an invitation like that?

The main character of this tale, a girl with the curious name of September, has read enough books to know a once-in-a-lifetime chance when she sees it. Though she doubts, at first, that she is the appropriate girl for the adventure.

“In stories, when someone appears in a poof of green clouds and asks a girl to go away on an adventure, it’s because she’s special, because she’s smart and strong and can solve riddles and fight with swords and give really good speeches, and… I don’t know that I’m any of those things.” pg 14

Part of Valente’s fairytale, like most good fairytales, is how September realizes how special she actually is — one of the conclusions heroes tend to arrive at during their various journeys.

September’s journey is a danger-filled jaunt through a land under the thumb of a smartly-hatted villain named the Marquess. September meets curious characters along the way including a trio of witches, a wyvern who claims his father is a library, and a boy from under the ocean with dark eyes and a secret.

The story contains plenty of winks and nods to anyone who loves reading: “Stories have a way of changing faces. They are unruly things, undisciplined, given to delinquency and the throwing of erasers. This is why we must close them up into thick, solid books, so they cannot get out and cause trouble.” pg 36

And: “She sounds like someone who spends a lot of time in libraries, which are the best sorts of people.” pg 55

They are the best sorts, aren’t they.

Recommended for young adults, the young-at-heart, or anyone who enjoys quirky portal fantasy reads. I thought this book was charming.

The Art of Exceptional Living by Jim Rohn

Nearly every house valued over $200,000 has a library in it. Now why do you think that is?

Jim Rohn, motivational speaker and business genius, was a kinder, gentler Tony Robbins. Originally from Iowa, he uses common sense and a storytelling style in an effort to encourage listeners to improve their lives. This audiobook presentation is a mix of live presentations and studio-recorded bits. Personally, I think he was better in front of a live audience, but there was plenty to take away from in both sections.

Here’s some of what he shares in this audiobook:

Read, learn, journal. Write down what works and what doesn’t. Write down your goals and then take a minute to look at the passing days, weeks and months and see what you’ve accomplished.

Eat healthy and take that walk around the block. If you don’t, you may seriously regret it, maybe not today or tomorrow but in the years to come, you’ll wish you took a minute to invest in yourself.

Work hard at your job and you’ll make a living. Work hard on yourself and you’ll make a fortune!

Rohn insists that anyone can be exceptional. He says success in business (and life) comes from small positive steps taken consistently over time. That type of approach really works for most any goal or dream you may have.

Read contracts all the way through, every time. It seems like a simple thing, but it can take you down some dark roads if you don’t read the fine print. He learned that the hard way.

Don’t stop reading and be a lifetime learner. Stay curious. Stay involved.

And take pictures. Part of your legacy to the next generation can be the pictures and documentation you’ve made of your life.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to this audiobook. It’s one of my go-to programs when life has me down. Jim Rohn believed you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to do. He makes listeners believe that too. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to learn “the art of exceptional living.”

Thanks for reading!

Gone with the Gin: Cocktails with a Hollywood Twist by Tim Federle

“Gone with the Gin” is an effervescent drink guide that pairs cleverly named potables with classic films. It’s a winner!

Last year (or was it the year before), I named Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist, also by Tim Federle, as one of my favorite reads in my annual book review. It’s similar to Gone with the Gin, except that Tequila Mockingbird uses classic literary works instead of film.

Federle has a way with puns and summarizing complex plots in three sentences or less without devolving into the unbearably cheesy. My favorites from Gone with the Gininclude the “Ben-Hurricane” and “The Empire likes Jack”.

And, like Tequila Mockingbird, I think I’m going to have to purchase a copy of this book to keep at the house. Like the majority of my reading material, I borrowed it from the library. But it’s going to be a sad day when I have to give it back…

Lest you think that Federle is a one-note author, please take a moment to consider another of his books: Life Is Like a Musical: How to Live, Love, and Lead Like a Star. It gives some hard-won lessons from Federle’s days dancing and singing his way across the stage. I enjoyed it too.

I think it’s fair to say that I highly recommend most anything Federle has written, so far. Keep ’em coming, Tim!

And thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: read

Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World by Pema Chödrön

All the Forgivenesses by Elizabeth Hardinger

Redemption Ark (Revelation Space, #2) by Alastair Reynolds

Revelation Space (Revelation Space, #1) by Alastair Reynolds

Promethea, Vol. 2 by Alan Moore

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente

The Art of Exceptional Living by Jim Rohn

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