“The huge, be-columned, gargoyle-haunted face of Ankh-Morpork’s Opera House was there, in front of Agnes Nitt. She stopped. At least, most of Agnes stopped. There was a lot of Agnes.” pg 9, ebook.

The usually charming wit of Terry Pratchett falls flat in this entry of The Witches, a sub-series of Discworld.

Having already lampooned the general idea of ‘theater’ in Wyrd Sisters, Pratchett takes a crack at ‘musical theater’, specifically The Phantom of the Opera. Besides the addition of the witches to the mix, the main gag is that Agnes Nitt is fat.

It’s not a story that has aged well.

“Agnes was, Nanny considered, quite good-looking in an expansive kind of way; she was a fine figure of typical young Lancre womanhood. This meant she was approximately two womanhoods from anywhere else.” pg 21

Agnes is not the only person in the story with weight concerns, the other being one of the lead singers in the opera, a male. But Agnes, despite her obvious talents, is forced to sing in the chorus, providing the voice for a willowy female who looks the part.

All of this is just a backdrop for the larger story which is basically that Granny Weatherwax is bored and Nanny Ogg is afraid if they don’t find another member for their coven, then Granny will turn to the dark side.

Which no one wants, obviously. Because Granny Weatherwax is one of the greatest of her age in headology and general witchy works, which vary greatly depending upon the circumstances.

And it brings the readers back around to the concern that I addressed in earlier books about Magrat (the witch they’re looking to replace) being bullied by the other older witches in the coven. In Maskerade, they’re just looking for a new punching bag.

The one bright spot in the story was Greebo, slinking around in his predatory human form. I love how he talks to people, elongating his R’s and adopting a general attitude of slightly aggressive insouciance, something which I imagine cats would do, if forced to speak English.

But beyond that, for whatever reason, this entry in the series didn’t hit the spot for me.

Here’s hoping the next is better.

Thanks for reading!

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