The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World by Ted Zeff

“Approximately 15 to 20 percent of the population have trouble screening out stimuli and can be easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds, and time pressure.” pg 10, ebook

Ted Zeff, a self professed highly sensitive person or HSP, shares coping mechanisms he’s cultivated throughout his life-long struggle with the unique way he responds to every day life. Topics range from improving work environments, personal relationships with non-highly sensitive people, getting a good night’s sleep and more.

While you can’t live your life totally removed from the world’s jolts, you can create an environment that minimizes stimuli. If you can anchor yourself to a ship of tranquility, you won’t be tossed about by the waves of stimulation.” pg 22

I am a highly sensitive person too. Most of the tips and habits Zeff suggests in this book are common sense and were not all that helpful to me. The material also becomes somewhat repetitive as the book goes on. But, if you’ve just discovered this about yourself, I could see this book being eye-opening.

“Since our aggressive society values non-HSP behavior, HSPs must learn to create boundaries and speak up. Unfortunately, many HSPs are shy and feel embarrassed to state what they want.” pg 63

Something I did learn about in this book is the highly sensitive person issue of “time pressure”. I know deadlines and meet up times stress me out, but I didn’t realize that was fairly typical of highly sensitive people.

“Combined with your high sense of responsibility, functioning under time constraints can be one of the most difficult aspects of being a highly sensitive person. In this section you will learn specific techniques to successfully deal with the daily pressures of our fast-paced modern society.” pg 32

If you only have time to read one book about highly sensitive people, the author himself recommends The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You multiple times throughout this text. You may want to pick that one up and give this a pass.

Thanks for reading!

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer

Michael Singer reminds readers that we are not the thoughts that we habitually think or the bodies that we walk around in. He gives multiple tips on how to access the spiritual strength inside ourselves and how to view life through the wide lens of this non-attached perspective.

Singer writes that it is through this new way of looking at life that one can find enlightenment.

The ideas that are shared in Untethered Soul can be found in countless other books on spiritual studies. This isn’t new information. But, I think, there is always room on my bookshelf for a book that reminds me of spiritual truths.

It is all too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day trivialities of life with its stresses and constant demands on our attention. If you take a breath and a step back, it’s surprising what you can see.

Perhaps the mammoth success of The Untethered Soul over other books in its genre is the exposure it received on The Oprah Winfrey show. Whatever the case, it is quite accessible to readers who haven’t considered these concepts before.

Recommended for spiritual seekers both seasoned and not.

Spirit Hacking: Shamanic Keys to Reclaim Your Personal Power, Transform Yourself, and Light Up the World by Shaman Durek

Shaman Durek offers practices to spiritual seekers who are looking for ways to improve their lives through the use of shamanistic techniques. Like most new age or spiritual books, not everything in here resonated with me. But I will take a few key concepts and jettison the rest.

For starters, I took issue with the title of this book, “Spirit Hacking”. It implies that there are some sort of tested and proven short cuts to bringing spiritual dimensions into one’s life. I think most readers are wise enough to know that such a thing doesn’t exist. To put that sort of label on a work is false advertising to delusional, depending, I suppose, on how much one believes one’s own hype.

On the other hand, if “Spirit Hacking” was simply an effort to connect with readers who sincerely want to believe in such spiritual short cuts then this book will probably fill some sort of gap in his or her journey to a desired “goal”.

Personally, I took the title as a type of warning flag before I read it. Tread softly here, Heidi, I said to myself. And question everything.

Shamanism, like other semi-organized movements, varies greatly depending upon who is imparting the wisdom and from what tradition. Shaman Durek touches upon topics I’ve studied from other sources such as there are different types of spirits, various rituals or practices to interact with these spirits and time isn’t as fixed as some imagine it may be. But he puts his own unique spin on the information.

I like the empowering side to shamanism. If you have lingering physical or emotional pain, these practices suggest that you can do something about it, today if you’d like. If you’d like to change the world, go within and change yourself, then the rest will follow.

I also like the idea that everything on the planet from plants to animals to places has a guiding spirit or intelligence. If only one knew the way to interact with these intelligences, life itself could become a guide into the mysteries of the spirit. That part of shamanism is pretty cool.

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

On the other hand, I don’t like how some shamanistic movements act like established religions, insisting that their ways or traditions are the only way to go. In addition to the snobbery, I take issue with the manner in which some shaman teach their methods. They fail to distinguish between the real world and visionary space, leading adherents to confuse one with the other or worse, not draw any dividing lines at all.

Shaman Durek’s tone can be somewhat abrasive, but if readers are looking for basic shamanistic ideas, they can be found here. Recommended with reservations for new age spiritual seekers.

Other titles about shamanism that you may want to explore if you’ve read this: This Trip Will Change Your Life: A Shaman’s Story of Spirit Evolution, The Way of the Shaman, Active Dreaming: Journeying Beyond Self-Limitation to a Life of Wild Freedom or The Flying Witches of Veracruz: A Shaman’s True Story of Indigenous Witchcraft, Devil’s Weed, and Trance Healing in Aztec Brujeria.

The Wild Woman’s Way: Unlock Your Full Potential for Pleasure, Power, and Fulfillment by Michaela Boehm

“This book is a call to come back to our wild, undomesticated ‘original nature,’ which, combined with an untamed heart, knows what is true for each of us. It is a call to return to the inborn genius that guides our passion, whispers in our ear with longing, and reveals itself abundantly when we allow our bodies to show us the way.” pg 8, ebook

Michaela Boehm utilizes her years of therapeutic practice and tantric training in this self help book designed for the modern woman.

There are so many choices and life paths from high-powered careers to motherhood, that many women try to do it all.

“The good news: amidst such a multitude of options we are free to choose what resonates with us. The bad news: it’s confusing, overwhelming, time-consuming, fraught with many pitfalls, and requires constant discernment.” pg 9, ebook

It’s not possible to do and have it all, Boehm writes, and while they attempt it, women cut themselves off from their sensual natures. She has written this book to give women practices and rituals to bring them back from this disconnection into the power and knowledge of their bodies.

“Relaxing the body; engaging with life, beauty, and nature; and gentle, nonlinear movement and dance are some of those physical practices we’ll be engaging in throughout this book.” pg 34, ebook

I didn’t connect with all of Boehm’s writing, but I have begun to practice a version of her “formless dancing” every day. The practice itself is simple. Turn on music with no words and a beat, and move your body however it feels like moving. It’s designed to release tension and unconscious clenching that happens when one becomes disconnected from their physical form.

“Once you understand your own reasons for any numbness, tension, and strain that you may carry in your body, you can easily undo the related habitual body patterns and restore yourself to a state of pleasurable aliveness and sensual well-being.” pg 50

I find it extremely relaxing. I probably look mad, shimmying and bouncing and swaying around, but it feels really good so who cares. 🙂

Highly recommended for readers looking to reconnect with their body’s innate intelligence or who are interested in different spiritual practices.

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor

James Nestor takes a deep dive into the fascinating and surprisingly mysterious world of breathing. “How mysterious could it be, Heidi?” I hear you ask. It’s something everyone does without thinking literally a few times every minute every day of their lives.

Well, there’s a lot of mysteriousness, as Nestor discovered through his journey from terrible breathing to consciousness-shifting, bone-building, better breathing.

“I do as instructed, and listen as the rushing wind that was pouring through my lungs suddenly stops and is replaced by pure silence, the kind of jarring quietude a skydiver feels the moment a parachute opens. But this stillness is coming from inside.” pg 143, ebook

He talks to researchers and mystics from around the globe to access both cutting edge research as well as ancient teachings from such exalted texts as The Upanishads.

What he’s discussing here isn’t new, but it feels new, perhaps because of the chronic disconnect between the mind and body that seems to haunt modern humanity.

From breathing slower to exhaling more, the dangerous of mouth breathing and the astonishing connection carbon dioxide inhalation has to panic attacks, there’s a lot to explore.

And, despite all of the observed benefits and ten years of extensive research, Nestor doesn’t forget to mention that breathing isn’t a panacea. I appreciated that part as well.

“… what I’d like to make clear now, is that breathing, like any therapy or medication, can’t do everything. Breathing fast, slow, or not at all can’t make an embolism go away. … No breathing can heal stage IV cancer. These severe problems require urgent medical attention.” pg 184-185, ebook

I bookmarked all of the exercises Nestor gathers together from the text and lists at the end of the book. Each has similar yet slightly different affects according to practitioners of the methods. I may have to try every one to see for myself.

Highly recommended.

Educated by Tara Westover

Educated is a gripping memoir by Tara Westover about her unconventional upbringing in remote Idaho, how she left that life, and discovered both physical and emotional freedom through a world class education.

“(My father) never told me what to do if I left the mountain, if I crossed oceans and continents and found myself in strange terrain, where I could no longer search the horizon… He never told me how I’d know when it was time to come home.”‘

This not a simplistic life story and Tara takes the time to look at what happened as truthfully and clearly as she can. This has led her to some difficult conclusions.

For example, Tara’s father embraced a survivalist lifestyle not only because of his religious convictions, but also because of a deep-seated paranoia. It wasn’t until Tara attended a college level psychology class that she realized her father’s particular way of thinking could be indicative of a mental disorder.

In addition to his erratic and paranoid behavior, the conservative nature of her father’s view on the roles for women has had a long-lasting impact on Tara. It led her to minimize physical abuse that took place in her childhood home as well as struggle to find her own place in the world. And, until a life-changing accident affects her father’s health permanently, Tara never saw her mother as an equal in her parents’ relationship, which, in turn, seriously affected how she viewed herself in relationship to the people around her.

All of the various events and family members Tara describes have far reaching consequences for her eventual life away from her family’s mountain home. Her journey from the past to the future was extraordinary and makes for a great read.

I had heard a lot of bookish chatter about Educated over the last two years and was skeptical about how good it might actually be. Those fears were ill founded- I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir, reading it in only a handful of days. I highly recommend it.

There are some trigger warnings for readers who have struggled with mental disorders or been victims of physical abuse. This book also contains some slightly graphic descriptions of life threatening injuries.

The Mysteries of Merlin: Ceremonial Magic for the Druid Path by John Michael Greer

John Michael Greer, one of the most influential authors on Druidism in the modern age, takes a crack at reviving ancient traditions through ceremonies involving the mysterious figure of Merlin. As for his success at this integration, I think that’s up to individual readers to decide for themselves.

I didn’t connect with the rituals myself, but the first part of this book which details the author’s research into mystery cults and mythology in general, was fascinating to me.

“… myths are things that never happened but always are. They express spiritual truths too profound to be communicated in any more direct way.” pg 12

Though this topic has been covered by a variety of different authors, perhaps most notably Joseph Campbell, Greer’s take on the subject is welcome and refreshing. His focus in this book is piecing together what the Pagan Celtic religion of Britain may have looked like through the fragmentary records and mythology that remain behind.

“Was Merlin, then, purely a god, and his appearances as a Dark Age prophet and wizard only garbled mythology? That is a surprisingly difficult question to answer.” pg 27

Greer’s writing is accessible even for those who may not have a background of western occultism or paganism to draw upon. But, this book might be most useful for those who feel drawn to those spiritual paths because, as I mentioned before, the majority of this book is dedicated to detailing rituals that Greer has created for those traditions.

Seekers interested in the forgotten history of paganism in Europe, as I am, might be better served with another book. If I find one, I’ll let you know.

“Vortigern ordered the workmen to dig into the hill and they found the lake; once the water was drained away, the rocks appeared, and the dragons leapt out of them and began to fight each other. As they struggled, Vortigern asked Merlin what the combat meant, and the boy burst into tears and began to prophesy.” pg 22

As for the actual historical personage of ‘Merlin,’ I think Greer’s interpretation of the sparse evidence is as good as any I’ve read which, admittedly, isn’t very much because there’s not much to go on.

And as for the retrieval of ancient traditions and mystery cults, perhaps new mythologies, like this book, need to be written. The old lineages may simply be lost forever.

The Bible Unearthed: Archaeology’s New Vision of Ancient Israel and the Origin of Its Sacred Texts by Israel Finkelstein, Neil Asher Silberman

Authors Israel Finkelstein and Neil Asher Silberman examine archaeological evidence in an effort to shine further light on the writing and creation of the first five books of the old testament of the Bible or the Pentateuch.

From a historical perspective, this book was fascinating to me.

“Recent developments in archaeology have finally allowed us to bridge the gap between the study of biblical texts and the archaeological finds. We can now see that the Bible is – along with distinctive pottery forms, architectural styles, and Hebrew inscriptions – a characteristic artifact that tells a great deal about the society in which it was produced. pg 22, ebook

This was the first time I had read a non-fiction book about the actual history of events and leaders from the Bible rather than a theological interpretation. This may have been one of the reasons why I enjoyed it so much, but, despite my inexperience with books on such topics, I still believe it is very well done.

The Bible Unearthed could be a challenging read for some. For example, it doesn’t hesitate to look at potential political reasons for why the Bible was written and constructed in the manner that it was.

The authors also don’t shy away from discussing when there is a lack of historical evidence for long-held assumptions or ideas.

“As far as we can see on the basis of the archaeological surveys, Judah remained relatively empty of permanent population, quite isolated, and very marginal right up to and past the presumed time of David and Solomon, with no major urban centers and with no pronounced hierarchy of hamlets, villages, and towns.” pg 132

Religion doesn’t seem to be a topic that invites inspection or examination. This book does, in my opinion, a brilliant job of looking at only the evidence.

The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us by Sheril Kirshenbaum

What do we know about the “science” of kissing? Researcher and author Sheril Kirshenbaum shows we know surprisingly little in The Science of Kissing.

“Kissing is a type of universal language, best interpreted by those involved in the exchange.” pg 209

To start, I didn’t know that humankind wasn’t the only species to demonstrate “kissing” behavior.

“Moose and ground squirrels brush noses. Manatees nibble at their partners. Moles rub snouts and turtles tap heads. Porcupines nuzzle noses – one of the few regions of their bodies that lack quills.” pg 29

I also didn’t know, seems obvious in hindsight, that kissing wasn’t always a common behavior. It has spread throughout cultures and countries because of the way we’re interconnected with technology.

But that wasn’t always the case. Historians and anthropologists have recorded different attitudes towards kissing among various cultures for hundreds of years.

“… he noted that some Finnish tribes were not very interested in kissing, and observed that while the sexes would bathe together completely nude, a kiss on the lips was considered indecent.” pg 57

Kirshenbaum briefly covers a few different scientific studies into sexual behavior or kissing.

“In Alfred Kinsey’s 1948 report ‘Sexuality in the Human Male,’ for instance, kissing style was found to correlate with a person’s level of education. Seventy percent of well-educated men admitted to French kissing, while only 40 percent of those who dropped out of high school did.”

However, I felt that the majority of this book was written anecdotally because there are so few rigorous studies that have been conducted. In fact, one of the chapters of this book consists of suggestions of studies that could be done with some of the information that Kirshenbaum compiled.

… only one in seven women answered that she would consider sex with someone she had not first kissed. Conversely, the majority of men reported that they would not be deterred.” pg 92

Despite what I perceived as a lack of hard science in here, I found the book amusing. Recommended for readers who are looking to be entertained, rather than enlightened, about kissing.

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: non fiction

The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World by Ted Zeff

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer

Spirit Hacking: Shamanic Keys to Reclaim Your Personal Power, Transform Yourself, and Light Up the World by Shaman Durek

The Wild Woman’s Way: Unlock Your Full Potential for Pleasure, Power, and Fulfillment by Michaela Boehm

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor

Educated by Tara Westover

The Mysteries of Merlin: Ceremonial Magic for the Druid Path by John Michael Greer

The Bible Unearthed: Archaeology’s New Vision of Ancient Israel and the Origin of Its Sacred Texts by Israel Finkelstein, Neil Asher Silberman

The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us by Sheril Kirshenbaum

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