What if This is Heaven?: How I Released My Limiting Beliefs and Really Started Living by Anita Moorjani

I was so excited to read What If This Is Heaven?: How I Released My Limiting Beliefs and Really Started Living. Moorjani’s first book, Dying to Be Me, was one of the first accounts of near death experience that I read. In it, she details how she was on her death bed, experienced the world beyond, and then came back to fulfill her life’s purpose.

When she came back, the tumors in her body disappeared and she’s been fine ever since.

It’s an astonishing and uplifting reminder of who we are as eternal beings and why we’re all here. What If This is Heaven is a continuation of this message in that, now, Moorjani is a teacher and lecturer on the topics of spirituality, healing, and self actualization. It’s wonderful.

And, it’s different enough from the first book that readers don’t feel like they’re re-reading the same messages. Moorjani has evolved and I’m very interested to see where life takes her from here.

Here are some passages that I loved:
“A major reason why I chose to return to this life during my NDE (near death experience) was because I understood that heaven is a state and not a place, and I wanted to experience, firsthand, the heaven that this life could actually be.”

“Remember, your only work is to love yourself, value yourself, and embody this truth of self-worth and self-love so that you can be love in action. That is true service, to yourself and those who surround you.”

“On the physical plane, we see love as an emotion, something we have for some people and not others. But the truth is that unconditional love is a state of being, and it’s our birthright. Once we begin to tap into that, we realize is has the power to transform all of our relationships simultaneously- including our relationship with ourselves- for the better.”

“… illness is our body’s way of communicating with us and showing us a better path. Yes, we may die from cancer- or from countless other things- and each of us will die from something at some point. But death is not the enemy. What often is the enemy is the way we view illness…”

Some fascinating teachings about the positive aspects of the ego are included in here: “The ego gives us our sense of identity, our individuality. It’s what allows us to know who we are as individuals and to express our uniqueness. If our ego weren’t necessary, we wouldn’t have been born with it.”

There’s so much more to enjoy in What if This is Heaven beyond these small bits. I highly recommend this read for spiritual seekers and those who are interested in self actualization. If you enjoyed this book, you may want to read Moorjani’s other book, Dying to Be Me or Co-creating at Its Best: A Conversation Between Master Teachers by Wayne Dyer and Abraham Hicks.

A big thank you to NetGalley and Hay House for the opportunity to review this book! They sent me a free digital ARC for review purposes. And thank you for reading!

Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart by James R. Doty

This book is James Doty’s memoir. He had a tragic childhood with parents who, for various reasons, were not present for him. Then, after an encounter with a total stranger, James was taught meditation, creative visualization, and positive thought practices that changed his life.

As he comes of age, he dismisses the compassion related portions of his childhood training and focuses instead upon the money and prestige that it brings as he pursues a career as a neurosurgeon. It’s a fascinating and educational account.

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr. on Pexels.com

I was particularly taken with the near-death experience portion of the book. James approached that experience as an atheist so I felt that made his opinion on it rather different than other accounts I’ve read.

Some of the bits that I want to remember (advance reader’s copy cited so the final published book may contain slightly different wording):
“Some of the wisest patients and people I have ever met have been children. The heart of a child is wide-open. Children will tell you what scares them, what makes them happy, what they like about you and what they don’t. There is no hidden agenda and you never have to guess how they really feel.” pg 3

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

“Everyone has a story, and I have learned that, at the core of it, most of our stories are more similar than not.” pg 60 But not everyone tells their story. Thank you, Dr. Doty, for telling yours.

“When our brain changes, we change. That is a truth proven by science. But an even greater truth is that when our heart changes, everything changes. And that change is not only in how we see the world but how the world sees us. And how the world responds to us.” pg 151 I think that this is one of the great mysteries of life.

About his near death experience: “At the time I felt the warmth of a light and a sense of oneness with the universe. I was enveloped in love, and while it didn’t transform my religious beliefs, it informed my absolute belief that who we are today doesn’t have to be who we are tomorrow and that we are connected to everything and everyone.” pg 203

“There’s a reason stock traders are using meditation techniques; these techniques help them become not only more focused but, sadly in some cases, more callous. This is what Ruth warned me about before she taught me to visualize. Yes, we can create anything we want, but it is only the intelligence of the heart that can tell us what’s worth creating.” pg 231 A powerful lesson, but one, I think, that can only be learned through personal experience.

If you enjoyed this book, try Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife by Eben Alexander or The Power of the Heart: Finding Your True Purpose in Life by Baptist de Pape.

Thank you to the Goodreads First Reads program for an advance reader copy of this book. And, thank you for reading!

Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Hamilton: The Revolution is a musical that uses hip-hop to tell the story of Alexander Hamilton, one of the founders of the United States. This book is not just the libretto, but also the story behind the musical.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I have not heard this libretto performed, yet, so the part of Hamilton that stuck out the most for me was not the music (which might change after I hear it live) but the enormous amount of research that Miranda put into the creation of it.

I also enjoyed the copious details of his creative process. Every artist takes a different route to produce a masterpiece. Miranda credits the love for his wife as the foundation of this work, even calling Hamilton: The Revolution a “love letter” to her.

Love seems to be the driving force behind most creative endeavors, doesn’t it?

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com

Back to the history behind Hamilton: I loved that Miranda included photographs of the actual documents and direct quotations from the figures of the period. This isn’t just a fun musical that uses hip hop to tell its story. This is history being retold in a way that appeals to modern sensibilities.

About Hamilton’s ambition that is highlighted in the song My Shot, Miranda says: “A character needs to want something pretty badly to sing about it for two and half hours… Alexander Hamilton lived hard, wrote fast, and hustled his a** off. “For to confess my weakness, Ned,” he wrote to a friend at age 14, “my Ambition is prevalent.” This man was born to perform an “I want” song. pg 21

I don’t know that I knew what the word ‘ambition’ meant at 14… a sign of things to come perhaps.

I loved all of the information about the set construction and having New York itself as the background: “The founders tended to be country boys. Washington, Jefferson, Adams, and many other key figures of the revolution hailed from, and frequently returned to, estates and farms out of town… It’s no wonder that John Adams, who despised Hamilton, also despised the town and its citizens: “They talk very loud, very fast, and all together,” he complained…” pg 38

Still rather true today, yes? I tease… 🙂

Photo by TheUknownPhotographer on Pexels.com

I didn’t know about Hamilton’s actual love poem to Eliza about which, Miranda says, “(she) wore it in a necklace for the rest of her life”:

“Before no mortal ever knew, A love like mine so tender, true, Completely wretched- you away, And but half blessed e’en while you stay. If present love (illegible) face, Deny you to my fond embrace, No joy unmixed my bosom warms, But when my angel’s in my arms.” pg 69

He wooed her with poetry- smart man.

I enjoyed the introduction to Angelica Schuyler, an incredibly bright woman in a time when she couldn’t really use that intellect in a constructive way.

In this passage, Miranda talks about how difficult her brilliant character is to portray and how hard her lines are to say: “Renee was the first one who came in and made us say, ‘Oh, she thinks exactly that fast,” he recalls. Her whirring brain made Angelica come alive in a new way… Renee acknowledges that she does indeed think pretty fast- “too fast to have good handwriting.”pg 79

That must be why I have bad handwriting too. 🙂

I loved the empowering message of Hamilton: “There are plenty of debatable lessons to be drawn from Alexander Hamilton’s life, but that one is clear. The poor bastard orphan from the islands ought to have died a dozen times but somehow lived to help to found the nation…”There are strong minds in every walk of life that will rise superior to the disadvantages of situation and will command the tribute due to their merit,” Hamilton wrote in The Federalist No. 36. Look no further than his own life for proof of that statement.” pg 149

One of the rules of fostering creativity is to not be afraid to make mistakes. They were very brave in the development of Hamilton: “Lin, Tommy, and their collaborators shared an eagerness to try things- to try everything- to find what worked best. “New discoveries, new mistakes” was the daily goal that Tommy had announced for the company at their first rehearsal the previous November.” pg 206

The pages of this book are packed with the stories, anecdotes, and behind-the-scenes hijinks of the creators, actors/actresses, and historical figures behind Hamilton: The Revolution. Pick it up and treat yourself to the newest Broadway sensation- winner of the 2016 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. It’s amazing and well worth the time.

Thanks for reading!

Awakening from the Daydream: Reimagining the Buddha’s Wheel of Life by David Nichtern

Awakening from the Daydream: Reimagining the Buddha’s Wheel of Life is an accessible and modern reworking of the Buddhist Wheel of Life.

I took a course on Buddhism in college (seems like a million years ago now) and I remember being deeply affected by the Wheel of Life then- the original version.

For thousands of years, Buddhist practitioners have been studying the mind, how it perceives the world, and how it creates a perpetual cycle of suffering. The original Wheel captures this in extraordinary detail. David Nichtern’s re-imagining of it is brilliant.

I think that this could be very helpful for many people. It’s similar to artists updating and customizing Tarot decks. Sometimes, new images spark new ways of looking at situations and new solutions arise.

Nichtern is clearly an expert on this topic but he never ventures beyond the basics of the teaching into spaces that beginners can’t grasp. His philosophic writing is understandable and relatable. I appreciated that because not all Buddhists texts are simple reads- Stages of Meditation by the Dalai Lama comes to mind.

“Tradition says that the Buddha directed the creation of the original Wheel painting, which he commissioned as a gift to teach Dharma to an Indian king. When the king who received the painting contemplated it and fully understood its meaning, he attained enlightenment- he brought the suffering caused by unconscious habitual patterns to an end… The image of the Wheel survives not just because it sustains tradition, but because the message it conveys is powerful and timelessly relevant.”

Nichtern reminds us in this book that Buddha gave the painting to a king not a monk. This shows that we can live in the world and also transcend it. These teachings are for everyone.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Nichtern discusses the Buddhas contained in each part of the picture- in the suffering areas and outside of it: “There is also usually a Buddha standing outside of the Wheel, representing transcending the six realms altogether. Such people are said to be free from imprisonment in the six realms- free of karma- and only appear in the six realms in order to teach and liberate the beings within the realms out of compassion. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to meet people who remind us of this kind of possibility.” People, I would say, like Nichtern himself.

How to find opportunity in the midst of suffering: “The abject misery that we experience in the hell realm mindset offers us the opportunity to relate to the suffering of others… This isn’t to say that we simply forgive the harmful behavior of others. Instead, we can use our own intense experiences of hatred or depression to realize a deeper truth about all of us living beings in general: none of us are immune from this.” None of us.

Nichtern offers meditation practices for beginners or more experienced folks. Here is a snippet of his advice: “…it is good to help manage people’s expectations. Meditation can include boredom, irritation, discomfort, frustration, grasping, aggression, a discursive waterfall of thoughts and emotions coming and going, and perhaps occasionally a sense of peace and acceptance of things as they are. In a nutshell, it can and will include all the aspects of who we are and of what our lives are actually made.” He also offers concrete suggestions on how to find instructors.

I recommend Awakening from the Daydream for anyone interested in Buddhism, at all levels of knowledge, but this would probably be most helpful for beginners to intermediate practitioners.

Some books that cover similar topics that you may want to check out: You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment by Thích Nhất Hạnh, Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill by Matthieu Ricardo, or The Buddha Walks into the Office: A Guide to Livelihood for a New Generation by Lodro Rinzler.

Thank you to NetGalley and Wisdom Publications for a free digital copy of this book and thank you for reading!

Soul Breathing: Spiritual Light and the Art of Self-Mastery by Carrie L’Esperance

An incredibly ambitious book, Soul Breathing: Spiritual Light and the Art of Self-Mastery covers most major spiritual topics- from chakras to meditations and the evolution of the soul to aliens.

With this very diverse amount of material, readers are certain to find at least one chapter or section that resonates with them.

Unfortunately, he or she will probably also discover something that doesn’t, which is just fine, because as Carrie points out in this book, everyone experiences the “Universal Mind” in a different way.

What is enlightenment? In the author’s own words: “Enlightenment is a way of freeing oneself from ignorance in order to act, operate, and contribute as a Light in the world. It is through the balanced integration of body, mind, and spirit that a deeper and more profound Intelligence is expressed.”

The vocabulary in Soul Breathing is definitely New Age, but the reader doesn’t have to have any background in that to understand what Carrie is talking about. She starts out with a bit of her personal history and then jumps into general teachings about the soul and transcendence, which I found to be very reminiscent of Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.

After that, Soul Breathing goes in a bunch of different directions, which I didn’t enjoy nearly as much as the opening few chapters.

What is Soul Breathing anyway? “Soul Breathing is the ability to create a balanced life on Earth through a conscious connection to Spirit. It is a state of grace achieved through action and experience.”

Carrie L’Esperance is at her strongest when she’s relating personal stories or giving concrete instructions- like specific affirmations or methods of meditating to support positive spiritual change.

I felt that Soul Breathing stumbled in the parts where Carrie talks about what is wrong with the world or how things have gone so badly. (The rampant energy pollution and government-alien conspiracy sections come to mind.)

All personal stories of spiritual or the otherworldly have value as Carrie reminds us: “There have always been the unbelievers and the hyperrational scientific intellectuals who attempt to devalue what for some people are the most powerful, transformative, and sacred experiences of their lives. In truth, there is really no one who can denigrate the authentic spiritual experiences of the individual.” I would add, except his or herself.

I thought that this book with its myriad of suggestions and prohibitions would be impossible for anyone to ever implement in their lives in a manageable way.

Carrie says: “We don’t have to dissect every aspect of how and why we exist in order to appreciate the miracle of life. We can experience all that is needed in the natural stages and steps that we take along the way. Ultimately we are to choose what capacities we will develop within the laws of existence.”

Despite that passage, Carrie seems to be a very demanding teacher.

It is clear that Carrie is passionate about spiritual, physical, earthly, and even galactic health and well-being.

Don’t read this book if you are unwilling to have an open mind about all manner of spiritual topics. Do read this book if you’re looking for more information about sensing, managing, and healing with subtle energy in the body, mind, and soul.

Her beliefs about aliens and a grand government conspiracy to control and manipulate the population were a bridge too far for me, but I’m certain that there are some readers out there who will resonate with her teachings.

Perhaps fans of Whitley Strieber or John Keel will enjoy Soul Breathing.

A big thank you to Netgalley and Bear & Company for a free digital Advance Reader copy of this book for review purposes! And, thank you for reading.

Shakespeare’s Guide to Parenting by James Andrews

Shakespeare’s Guide to Parenting, like the wildly popular xkcd comic, is written with simple stick figures paired with, as you probably guessed from the title, quotations from Shakespeare’s works.

This format works for most of the panels, but did fall flat from time to time.

I think the problem is that, when you’re telling a story and using something as complex as Shakespeare, which relies on context to build the drama, for your main narrative voice, it’s hard to make it work as intended. Also, to simplify a joke down to one, perhaps two lines and maintain the comic punch is a very difficult thing. That being said, I did pull some favorite moments from this one.

If your child continues to be particular about their food, explain in no uncertain terms what the alternative will be: “I’ll make you feed on berries and on roots, and feed on curds and whey, and suck the goat. Titus Andronicus: IV, ii” pg 121

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

Having dealt with a picky eater for years and experiencing hair-pulling frustration at her recalcitrance, I may actually use that line at my house.

Be wary of rashly administering a sanction that you may later lack the resolve to see through. Remember, excellent outcomes can be achieved through epic-sounding yet non-specific threats: “I will have such revenges on you both that all the world shall- I will do such things- what they are I know not; but they shall be the terrors of the earth. King Lear: II, iv”pg 103 Ah, the drama of parenthood.

And finally, the drawing accompanying this one is of a little girl who has dropped her ice cream as her mother looks over at her:

Stoicism: Introducing your child to philosophy at a young age can help them come to terms with difficult concepts such as loss and bereavement: “What can be avoided whose end is purposed by the mighty gods? Julius Caesar: II, ii pg 43 Classic.

If you enjoyed Shakespeare’s Guide to Parenting, I’d recommend I Was a Child by Bruce Kaplan (a memoir told in simple but surprisingly powerful doodles) or Penguins with People Problems by Mary Laura Philpott.

A big thank you to Goodreads First Reads program for a free copy of this book for review purposes and thanks for reading!

The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do by Sarah Knight

Since I just posted on Spark Joy, I thought that it was the appropriate time for a review of this one.

Full title, it’s a whopper and very descriptive of the book’s contents: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do.

F-bombs aplenty in this parody of Marie Kondo’s international best seller about tidying. If you can look past the obvious language thing, Knight gives some fairly solid advice. She counsels readers to not care so much about what others think and give that mental energy to yourself. You’ll be surprised what you can accomplish.

“Please listen when I say that the shame and guilt you feel when you’re trying so hard to not give a f***? It’s usually not because you are wrong to not give that f***. It’s because you’re worried about what other people might think about your decision. And guess what? You have no control over what other people think.”pg 26

See? She reminded me of a more foul-mouthed Byron Katie.

Sometimes she manages to string together two whole sentences without the F-word. Check it out: “You can sidestep the prospect of hurt feelings entirely when you view your conflict through the lens of simple, emotionless opinion. NotSorry (Knight’s method) is all about simple, emotionless opinions.” pg 31.

Beyond managing your own mind, she branches out to give advice to parents: “One mother responded from the perspective of teaching her own kids what to give a f*** about: As someone who grew up in a household full of guilt, I think it’s important for our kids to know that they can make decisions about what to care about, and that they don’t need to pay attention to the approval or condescension of other people in deciding how to live their lives.”pg 92.

I can get behind that idea.

Then we move right along to shades of Eckhart Tolle and The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment with contemplating the meaning of existence and its temporariness: “The reality is, unless we’ve been given a ballpark figure by a reputable physician (and sometimes not even then), not a single one of us knows when we’re going to shuffle off this mortal coil. It’s morbid, but it’s true. Tomorrow you could get hit by a bus, or mauled by a pack of wolves, or be scared to death by a clown. When you think about it like that, don’t you want to make every second count? pg 184.

Sarah Knight’s book, in my opinion, doesn’t have the life-changing magic of the other book, but she’s got some interesting thoughts that I believe are true and, sometimes, rather funny. But make sure to bring your sense of humor with you when you pick this one up because the author doesn’t give a … well, you know.

Thanks for reading!

Spark Joy: an illustrated master class on the art of organizing and tidying up by Marie Kondo

Spark Joy is author Marie Kondō’s follow up to her internationally best-selling title, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

Kondo’s not for everyone — some of her ideas are very different like treating your possessions as if they have spirits of their own and sorting items by smell — but I like her.

I think it’s because she is obviously very passionate about what she teaches. Her excitement seems to seek from the pages of her book.

This companion novel is an excellent book by itself, but, in my opinion, you won’t be able to fully appreciate it unless you’ve read Kondō’s first title. She doesn’t as completely explain her tidying methods in this book as she took the time to in the last. But there was still so much to enjoy here.

She encourages individuals to embrace what they love, even if society doesn’t love it too, like in this section called Save Your Cosplay for Indoors: “…a surprisingly high percentage of my clients have costume-like clothes. To name just a few, I have encountered a Chinese dress, a maid’s outfit, and a belly-dancing costume. … If it brings you joy, but you can’t see yourself wearing it outside, there’s no reason you shouldn’t wear it inside.” pg 25-26

Kondo has a pretty philosophy of living: “I’m convinced that things that have been loved and cherished acquire elegance and character. When we surround ourselves only with things that spark joy and shower them with love, we can transform our home into a space filled with precious artifacts, our very own art museum.” pg 47

One of my favorite parts of both books is Kondo’s theory about socks. It makes me smile: “The socks you wear at home are particularly important because they are the contact point between you and your house, so choose ones that will make the time you spend there even more enjoyable. Balling your socks and stockings, or tying them into knots, is cruel. Please put an end to this practice today.” pg 98 🙂

As much as I enjoy Kondo’s quirkiness, I don’t embrace all of her theories.

For example, I’m still trying to talk myself out of the mountains of books that I have around the house. I have this dream that one day, I’ll have an enormous library with shelves so high that I’ll need a ladder with rollers to climb up and reach the books at the top.

Here’s what Kondo has to say about tidying up the books: “When you’re left with only those books that you love, you’ll discover that the quality of information you receive changes noticeably. The room you make by discarding books seems to create space for an equivalent volume of new information. You’ll soon see that the information you need comes just when you need it, and when it does, you’ll find that you respond to it immediately in a new pattern of behavior that wasn’t possible when you were hoarding books and neglecting the information they contained.”pg 126

Sigh.

Here’s a helpful tip for sorting piles of stuffed animals: “Energy resides in the eyes, which is why it’s best to cover them when discarding something. Once their eyes are hidden, stuffed toys and dolls look much more like objects, and that makes it far easier to part with them. The simplest solution is to place a cloth or piece of paper over their faces.” pg 164-165

Consider some of the most used items in your life for the royal treatment: “…my criterion for deciding which items require royal treatment… is this: the item’s proximity to your body. Items such as forks or undergarments, which come in direct contact with delicate parts of our bodies, should be treated as a rank above the rest whenever possible.” pg 183

Good to know.

And finally: “Tidying is a special event. If you give storage your best effort, experimenting with different ideas and enjoying the whole process, you’ll find that it goes very smoothly. Treat it like a game. Each idea you try will bring immediate results, and you can readjust anytime you like.” pg 206

If only I had that sort of passion for tidying…

Marie Kondo is inspiring but I don’t know if I will ever achieve the emotional highs that she seems to find from it. The best part of this book is: she makes me willing to try.

Other tidying (or anti-tidying) books I’ve reviewed can be read here:

Remodelista: The Organized Home by Julie Carlson

The Joy of Leaving Your Sh*t All Over the Place by Jennifer McCartney

Thanks for reading!

Primates of Park Avenue: a memoir by Wednesday Martin

Primates of Park Avenue is a glimpse into the life of the privileged mothers of the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It’s weird, otherworldly, and off-putting, at first, but then as Wednesday struggled more and more to fit in and, ultimately, thrive, I found myself cheering for her. I can see how this book isn’t for everyone though. If you don’t like reality television or the details of petty power plays between ridiculously rich socialites, you may want to read another memoir.

As a mother myself, I was thanking my lucky stars as I turned every page that I didn’t happen to end up in New York City. I wouldn’t want that type of pressure on me: to look a certain way, act a certain way, or make my family act a certain way. I can’t imagine that it would ever make me happy and I’m surprised that Wednesday managed as well as she did and emerge, for the most part, unscathed.

The author’s reason for writing: “This book is the stranger-than-fiction story of what I discovered when i made an academic experiment of studying Manhattan motherhood as I lived it. It is the story of a world within a world, a description I do not use lightly.” pg 18, ebook

The “world in a bubble” that is Manhattan: “…many of us live unconstrained by our environment in unprecedented ways. But nowhere, I considered as I walked from here to there every day, foraging for crisp Frette sheets and shiny All-Clad pots and pans and the perfect sconces, are we as radically and comprehensively released as on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It was the land of gigantic, lusciously red strawberries at Dean & Deluca and snug, tidy Barbour jackets and precious, pristine pastries in exquisite little pastry shops on spotless, sedate side streets. Everything was so honeyed and moneyed and immaculate that it made me dizzy sometimes.” pgs 77-78, ebook

Wednesday forgets to register her child for nursery school and has to scramble and beg to even get applications to the Upper East Side Schools because, if she doesn’t, she isn’t living up to the expectations of her peers: “Thus began my disorienting slide from bystander to total buy-in: with fear. I had been seized by the culturally specific and culturally universal anxiety of not being a good enough mommy, of being a mommy who does less than enough for her children.” pg 90, ebook.

The thing is, in my experience, all mothers deal with that fear. Most of us are just fortunate enough to be in a place that doesn’t put a social magnifying glass on it.

My favorite part- Wednesday decides to get a Hermes Birkin bag to stop women from “charging” (crowding) her on the Manhattan sidewalks: “Like a totem object, I believed, it might protect me from them, these ladies who were everywhere in my adopted habitat and who said so much without a word, using only their eyes and their faces and, always, their handbags. Perhaps, I thought, a nice purse like the ones they had might trick them, mesmerize them into believing that they oughtn’t challenge me to sidewalk duels and all the rest.” pg 132, ebook. Never underestimate the power of a really nice bag…

The most disturbing part, for me, was the reliance of all of these women on their husbands: “…with resources under their control, with wives who are dependent on them caring for their even more dependent offspring, privileged men of the Upper East Side can do as they please. Men may speak the language of partnership in the absence of true economic parity in a marriage, and they may act like true partners. But this arrangement is fragile and contingent and women are still dependent, in this instance, on their men- a husband may simply ignore his commitment at any time.” pg 241, ebook

That really bothered me.

Wednesday ties up the memoir with a heartbreaking chapter from her own life. I won’t spoil it for readers, other than to say, that I found it very difficult to get through. Primates of Park Avenue seems like a frothy and frivolous bit of writing about women who already have so much privilege that their lives didn’t need the examination, but then I realized, that universal problems like gender inequality and becoming a part of the group transcend culture, time, and place.

If you’re looking for more books on these sorts of social questions, you may want to read Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg or Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own by Kate Bolick.

Thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: non fiction

What if This is Heaven?: How I Released My Limiting Beliefs and Really Started Living by Anita Moorjani

Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart by James R. Doty

Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Awakening from the Daydream: Reimagining the Buddha’s Wheel of Life by David Nichtern

Soul Breathing: Spiritual Light and the Art of Self-Mastery by Carrie L’Esperance

Shakespeare’s Guide to Parenting by James Andrews

The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do by Sarah Knight

Spark Joy: an illustrated master class on the art of organizing and tidying up by Marie Kondo

Primates of Park Avenue: a memoir by Wednesday Martin

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