You’re Married to Her? by Ira Wood

A surprising and amusing collection of essays by Ira Wood about his childhood, early relationships and, eventual marriage, to author Marge Piercy.

“Readers seeking insight into the creativity of a prolific American artist had best look at my wife’s own memoir, for these are my stories, those of the very lucky young man she chose not merely to put up with but to love, and for slim rewards except being fiercely loved in return.” pg 10, ebook.

These are not tame remembrances. Wood is cheerfully self-deprecating as he relates heavy drug use, promiscuous sexual behavior, and smashing disappointments as both an author and a publisher. He remembers the cut-throat politics during his time on the board of a small New England town. He talks gardening, sex at other people’s houses, and how he ruined one of his girlfriend’s big nights out.

Each essay, as outrageous as it may be, ties itself up in a surprisingly tender conclusion. Usually.

“The motivation that would always drive me in the face of overwhelming odds, the internal fire that no amount of personal failure, or success, would put out; as powerful as the force of life itself, my father’s everlasting gift to me: the burning envy of other people’s lives.” pg 26, ebook.

I loved Wood’s humor. I loved his insights. Really, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I found it in my library’s digital lending library and the cover drew my eye.

He reads a lot like David Sedaris but with more sex. I mean, he talks about sex more than the Sedaris books that I have read so far. Small disclaimer: I haven’t read them all.

“One night I left Boston so blindly drunk that I arrived in Wellfleet with a sandwich in my lap that I had neglected to eat and could not remember buying.” pg 38

Highly recommended for readers who like humorous non-fiction and aren’t put off by some scandalous situations.

Thanks for reading!

Use Your Head by Tony Buzan

In “Use Your Head,” Tony Buzan teaches the reader strategies to utilize the infinite powers of your mind.

“I call it the ‘operations manual’ for your brain. It is designed to help you nurture your ‘super-biocomputer’ and unleash the natural and extraordinary range of mental skills that you possess.pg xii

I’ve read a lot of non-fiction books about what the potentials of the mind and positive thinking are. This book gives more than just information about what could be, it shares tools for expanding your creative skills and organizing what goes in and comes out of our mind.

“No man yet exists or has existed who has even approached using his full brain. We accept no limitations on the power of the brain — it is limitless.” pg 24

Buzan shares the keys for maximizing your memory — imagination and association. By combining images with simple rhymes, he’s created a surprisingly easy way to remember lists and, potentially, large sections of information.

I was intrigued by his method of organizing information and study materials with the use of “mind maps.” Basically, you start with a topic and draw branches coming out from this main theme, that relate to the information in some way. Continue to branch out, using colors and shapes to stimulate your brain while drawing conscious connections between the ideas on the paper.

It’s a fun little creative exercise, but also it helps you see associations you may not have considered before.

Personally, I do mounds of research on an almost daily basis and it helps to have a tool to organize the facts I come across. The mind map may be the most helpful tool in this book.

There’s a lot of self help advice in these pages too. It’s mainly common sense, but I found almost all of it useful as reminders of what is possible. For example, Buzan suggests considering your perspective before starting any program of study or problem solving.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“On average, people assume that there are theoretically infinite insoluble problems and only a relatively minor number of solutions. The fact is, every problem has a solution and there are no insoluble problems for a human brain that is properly trained, activated and aware of its creative functions.” pg 82

After a bit of research on the author, it seems Buzan is quite popular in Great Britain and has been for some time. Perhaps it’s time for the U.S. to jump on this train too.

Thanks for reading!

Midnight Dreary: The Mysterious Death of Edgar Allan Poe by John Evangelist Walsh

John Evangelist Walsh examines the last months of the life of Edgar Allan Poe and puts forth the hypothesis that he did not die of alcohol withdrawal, but something more sinister.

Poe, one of the most celebrated American authors, had a rough life. He was orphaned and adopted at an early age. He spent his life in poverty, scraping enough money from writing and editing jobs to keep himself fed, only to die mysteriously at age 40.

“We regret to learn that Edgar Allan Poe Esq. the distinguished American poet, scholar and critic died yesterday morning after an illness of four or five days. This announcement, coming so sudden and unexpected, will cause poignant regret among all who admire genius and have sympathy for the frailties so often attending it.”pg 34

Photo by Poppy Thomas Hill on Pexels.com

Walsh packs this book with details about Poe’s life and heartbreaks — that can be verified by historical documentation. After Poe’s untimely death, an author, perhaps more than one, who had been vilified by in Poe’s literary reviews, wrote angry and unflattering obituaries and biographies. It was an effort to black Poe’s name after his death which ultimately failed.

However, this “name blackening campaign” makes it difficult to separate fact from fiction.

Walter Colton, who was one of those who was kind to Poe after his death wrote: “I knew something of Poe. Something of the unfathomed gulfs of darkness out of which the lightning of his genius sent its scorching flashes.” pg 28

Perhaps that’s the lesson to take from Poe’s life, besides his astonishing literary achievements. Genius often seems to walk hand in hand with madness or emotional upheaval. I wonder why this is. Maybe, to touch the heights and depths required to write beautiful poetry, you have to go there? I don’t know.

“As always with this type of alcoholism, the unsettling fact was its combined certainty and unpredictability. After long periods of perfect sobriety, he seemed almost bound to fall again, and those who cared about him had to live with that relentless expectation.”introduction, pg xiv

Walsh’s hypothesis about the manner of Poe’s death was not convincing to me, but it gave me another angle to consider.

I had heard Poe may have died from “cooping” which was a practice where a man was kidnapped by a political party, kept drunk and imprisoned until election day, when he would let him free to vote as they directed. This idea holds water because he was found inebriated and ill outside a polling place and in clothing that didn’t seem to belong to him. I had also heard he was a victim of alcohol withdrawal.

Dear Sir, There is a gentleman, rather the worse for wear, at Ryan’s Fourth ward polls, who goes under the cognomen of Edgar A. Poe, and who appears in great distress, and he says he is acquainted with you, and I assure you, he is in need of immediately assistance.” pg 46

Walsh believes some relatives of one of the women Poe was involved with may have led to his untimely end.

Whatever happened, I can’t help but feel sad for the rest of us. Imagine what he could have accomplished with another 40 years on this earth.

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

Recommended for fans of Edgar Allan Poe or readers who enjoy true crime.

Thanks for reading!

Here’s The History Guy episode I wrote about Edgar Allan Poe:

Art Matters: Because Your Imagination Can Change the World by Neil Gaiman, Illustrated by Chris Riddell

Neil Gaiman and Chris Riddell have created a manifesto for readers, librarians and content creators. This little book celebrates everything having to do with reading, freedom of information and ideas, and how to start creating the life of your dreams, even if you don’t know where to start.

It was compiled from Gaiman’s prolific back catalog of speeches, poems and various other writings about creativity.

“The world always seems brighter when you’ve just made something that wasn’t there before.”

I feel like this should be required reading — especially the parts about how to respond to intellectual disagreements. I think Gaiman penned these words after the bombing at Charlie Hebdo, and they still ring true.

“I believe I have the right to think and say the wrong things. I believe your remedy for that should be to argue with me or to ignore me. And that I should have the same remedy for the wrong things that I believe you think.”

And, of course, I was partial to all of the praise directed towards librarians and libraries, having been a librarian once myself. Sometimes people ask me if I ever think libraries will be closed because “they’re just a building with books” or “they’re a waste of taxpayer money”.

This is how I wished I had replied: “Libraries are about freedom. Freedom to read, freedom of ideas, freedom of communication. They are about education, about entertainment, about making safe spaces and about access to information.” How could that ever possibly go out of style?

Gaiman also gives attention to the bookworms of the world. We make it a better place through our reading and daydreaming and daydreaming about reading. Also, our epic library patronage is a good thing.

“We have an obligation to read for pleasure. If others see us reading, we show that reading is a good thing. We have an obligation to support libraries, to protest the closure of libraries. If you do not value libraries you are silencing the voices of the past and you are damaging the future.”

Gaiman shares a bit about how he became the universally beloved author he is today. Step one, you’ve just got to get started.

“If you have an idea of what you want to make, what you were put here to do, then just go and do that and that’s much harder than it sounds and, sometimes in the end, so much easier than you might imagine.”

He confesses that he lied on early resumes to get his foot in the door. But, after his later success, he went back and worked at all of the places he had claimed before. That way, he didn’t see himself as lying but as “chronologically challenged.” I loved that he took the time to make things right.

Gaiman also has some interesting views about no-start dreamers. He says the saddest thing to him are friends that say they’re too committed to follow their dreams. There’s bills to pay, mortgages and families to support and they can’t take the dive to do whatever it is they’ve always dreamed of doing.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

He said he dodged that particular roadblock by skipping a well-paying job or two early in his career, so that he didn’t get too comfortable doing something other than writing. I thought that was an interesting strategy. Creating is about having the courage to just do it, no matter what and not stopping until you’re doing it.

“Somebody on the internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it’s all been done before? Make good art.”

The good news is there are more platforms than ever before to get your creations in front of the people who will care about them.

“The gatekeepers are leaving their gates. You can be as creative as you need to be to get your work seen. YouTube and the web (and whatever comes after YouTube and the web) can give you more people watching than television ever did. The old rules are crumbling and nobody knows what the new rules are. So make up your own rules.”

My own life right now points to the truth of that. I left a guaranteed paycheck and employer provided health care to write for my husband’s YouTube channel. We’re not only succeeding but we’re having a lot of fun doing it.

Thank you, Gaiman and Riddell for this beautiful book. I hope it encourages creators everywhere to take the leap.

Thanks for reading!

The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings be Your Guide by Esther Hicks, Jerry Hicks

“Beyond the five physical senses that you are actively aware of, there is another less-realized sense — the sense of emotion.” pg 20

Esther Hicks channeled this book from her “higher self,” an entity she calls Abraham. It is about how one can deliberately create their experience by being aware of their emotions. It also gives advice on how to focus on those things that make you feel good, because by doing so, Hicks believes it will “bring you into alignment” with your higher being. And, therefore, you’ll allow the goodness of creation to flow through you.

“Allowing yourself to become what life has caused you to desire is not about action. It is about the aligning of thought Energies. It is about focusing your attention in the direction of your desire rather than looking back at the current conditions that have given birth to your desire.” pg 25

My favorite part of this book was contained within the first 45 pages in which Abraham talks in a general way about emotions and their latent power. The rest of the book contained examples of how to apply this teaching to specific questions Hicks received at her various workshops.

I didn’t find the second portion as helpful because, first of all, it felt like we were focusing on current conditions. Secondly, the answer to every question was to soften the emotions by looking for things that made you feel good about in whatever subject was being discussed. Then, roll with that until the emotions shift. Honestly, it felt repetitive after the first two or three examples.

Photo by Quang Anh Ha Nguyen on Pexels.com

I suppose if one of the questions had applied directly to my life experience right now, then maybe I would have had a different view of this book. As it is, I prefer Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires to this.

Ask and It is Given deals with the topic in a more general way and I got more out of it.

I can understand the criticisms of Hicks as a life philosophy: that she teaches people to ignore their problems, to be selfish, to be utterly self absorbed. But wasn’t it a teaching of the Buddha that the first love you should attend to, before you can offer unconditional love to others, is self love. You build a base of love and everything else flows from that. I see Hick’s teachings as the same kind of thing — self love first.

I think another point to bring up before closing the discussion of this book is the idea that the Law of Attraction, so beloved of New Age teachers and authors, functions rather like gravity. You don’t have to teach someone how to utilize gravity because it just works. The Law of Attraction is the same kind of deal and isn’t that nice to know.

So, no matter what you’re doing, thinking or feeling, you’re not going to float off into outer space because gravity has got both of your feet safely planted on the ground. I like to approach any teachings about the Law of Attraction the same way. I can play with ideas and techniques, but at the end of the day, it’s going to do its thing whether I’m paying attention to it or not.

Recommended for readers who like New Age materials or love the teachings of Abraham Hicks.

Spark: How to Lead Yourself and Others to Greater Success by Angie Morgan, Courtney Lynch, Sean Lynch

Spark is a manual to help an individual or a business develop leadership skills. The important attributes are outlined in each chapter with highlighted stories provided by the authors’ own life experiences. The salient points of the different topics are simply and clearly listed at the end of each chapter as well as further resources.

“Our society values leadership — craves it, for that matter. Yet we don’t teach it in formal education.” pg 9, ebook.

The title itself “Spark” refers to those who know they carry the seeds of greatness within themselves and are willing to learn how to make those seeds bloom. As the authors are quick to point out, there are a lot of misconceptions about leadership.

One of them is that people are born leaders and only certain people can lead. They say, and I believe this too, that anyone can become anything they set their minds too. This book helps provide the necessary skills to make that process simpler.

“No one else can make or anoint you a leader. The only way to become a Spark is to make yourself into one.” pg 24, ebook

I thought it was an interesting that these skills are taught to our military personnel but are not stressed as much in the private sector. The main reason the authors started their leadership business was because they noticed leadership was required in business but no one was teaching it. I suppose that’s true, but I’d never considered it before because I had assumed that leaders were born that way.

“… invest the time in seeking to uncover your values, and you’ll be led to discover any misalignment between your expectations of yourself and your actions. The next step is having an honest conversation with yourself so that you not only understand where, when, and why you’ve compromised your values in the past but also recognize the changes you need to make to lead more consistently with your intentions.” pg 42, ebook

I think some of the suggestions in Spark might discomfort those who haven’t taken the time to look and evaluate their own character. Or accept responsibility for reoccurring issues in their experience.

“Overwhelmingly, we all seem to agree that we live in a pass-the-buck culture. Pointing to others as the reason for a problem is a typical response.” pg 69, ebook.

And, taking responsibility for a problem gives you the power to change it. Because, at the end of the day, you can’t control somebody else’s actions — despite how much we may want to.

The chapters I, personally, liked the most were about how to “build your confidence” and “demonstrate consistency”. The information in that section felt the most relatable because it deals with the humanity of leaders. We all fail sometimes or experience self doubt. What matters is how you handle that and continue onwards.

Which brings me to my last thought about this book, as I mentioned earlier, the authors insist leaders make themselves. If you want to learn these skills, you can. If you want to make change in your organization, you can. What you can’t do is force other people to become leaders if they don’t want to be.

I think the power in becoming a leader or a “spark” is the example you hold up to others who have the same aspirations. As for the rest, I suppose they can provide the background against which your brilliance shines.

Thanks for reading!

Never Caught: The Washingtons’ Relentless Pursuit of Their Runaway Slave, Ona Judge by Erica Armstrong Dunbar

An interesting, non-fiction book about Ona Judge, a woman who was one of Martha Washington‘s personal slaves until she ran away. Ona remained a fugitive for the rest of her life. This book dissects early emancipation laws in the United States and Ona’s life, as well as revealing struggles in the private lives of George and Martha Washington.

Ona was born to a black slave and a white, indentured servant. Ona and her mother were abandoned by Ona’s father after only a few years.

“Ona Judge learned valuable lessons from both of her parents. From her mother she would learn the power of perseverance. From her father, Judge would learn that the decision to free oneself trumped everything, no matter who was left behind.” pg 14

Author Erica Dunbar does a fairly good job bringing Ona Judge to life on the few details that were available. It must have been tricky to fill in the blanks on a life that wasn’t as well-documented as her famous, former owners.

“Those of us who research and write about early black women’s history understand how very difficult it is to find our subjects in the archives. Enslavement, racism, and sexism often discarded these women from the historical record, and as historians we are frequently left unsatisfied with scant evidence.” from the Author’s Note.

Because she gave two interviews to journalists towards the end of her life, Ona may well be one of the only female, fugitive slaves from Virginia to have a personal narrative that survived to exist in the historical record.

“The interviewer wrote, ‘When asked if she is not sorry she left Washington, as she has labored so much harder since, than before, her reply is ‘No, I am free, and I have, I trust, been made a child of God by the means.'” pg 187

What I liked most about this book, beyond Ona’s own life story, was the way Dunbar made George and Martha Washington into people, not just icons, in my mind. They made mistakes and would act in their own best interest. It was interesting to discover that one of the founding fathers and his spouse were just as human as the next person.

But also sad in the way they held and treated “human property.” I suppose everyone is a product of his or her own time.

(Martha Washington) had no interest in releasing the slaves at Mount Vernon, who numbered in the hundreds. Instead, she would move quickly to join her husband in New York, shielding her slaves from the contagion of liberty.” pg 31

They simply couldn’t understand why someone would want their freedom — at any cost. It seems like a no-brainer now. But, once the Washingtons discovered where Ona was hiding, they sent agents to talk to her and try to convince her to return to slavery.

“She told Whipple that under no circumstances would she return to slavery, where she could be “sold or given to any person.” She would rather die than return.” pg 144

Recommended for readers who love history, especially American history, and want to learn about another facet of the American experience.

Thanks for reading!

Here’s the History Guy script I wrote about Ona Judge:

The Midnight Assassin: Panic, Scandal, and the Hunt for America’s First Serial Killer by Skip Hollandsworth

A fascinating, non-fiction examination of what may have been the first serial killer in the United States. “The Midnight Assassin” or “Servant Girl Annihilator” terrorized Austin, Texas, for about a year before disappearing. Then, when Jack the Ripper began running around London, some in Texas theorized that their killer had crossed the ocean.

The scariest part, like Jack the Ripper, is that this person was never caught or identified.

“Several journalists proclaimed in their articles that the murders were nothing less than an Edgar Allan Poe tale of terror come to life. One reporter nicknamed the killer “the Midnight Assassin… who strides at will over Austin’s sacred soil.” pg 4

Skip Hollandsworth uses newspaper articles and period pictures to make these historical events come to life. It is a story that you almost can’t believe. You can feel the citizen’s terror as the murders increase and no one is found.

“A woman has been chopped to pieces!” Wilkie yelled. “It’s Mrs. Hancock! On Water Street!” pg 139

This was before investigations were conducting using forensic evidence or even finger prints. It is interesting to see how authorities looked for the killer.

“… the idea that Jack the Ripper was a Texan made for sensational copy, and soon the newspapers in England were in on the frenzy. “A Texas Parallel!” cried the Woodford Times of Essex. “The monster has quitted Texas and come to London!” trumpeted the London Daily News…” pg 234

It is also a glimpse into the shadowy part of the human soul.

“I do not believe any man figures into the world’s history with such a terrible and horrifying distinction from the rest of humanity,” the reporter declared. “He may well give to history a new story of crime — the first instance of a man who killed in order to gratify his passion.” pg 173

The Midnight Assassin is a story of forgotten history that most of the world no longer remembers. The murderer’s name has now become a fairy tale to scare children…

“But people in Austin hadn’t forgotten about him — not completely. Children had devised their own nickname for the Midnight Assassin: they called him the “Axe Man.” They raced for their homes as the sun was setting, shouting to one another that the Axe Man was hiding in the shadows just beyond the light of the moonlight towers, waiting for them to come close so he could grab them.” pg 255

Recommended for readers of true crime and thrilling history.

Thanks for reading!

Here’s The History Guy episode I wrote about the ‘Midnight Assassin’ also known as ‘The Servant Girl Annihilator’:

High Magick: A Guide to the Spiritual Practices That Saved My Life on Death Row by Damien Echols

“Magick was out there in the world, and I could learn and practice it! That realization was like a bomb going off inside me. From that moment on, I pursued magick as if my life depended on it (and, in fact, later it did).” pg 11, ebook.

Damien Echols has penned a part-memoir/part-magic primer and, I believe, established himself as a new major voice in the Western Golden Dawn tradition. Many are familiar with Echols’ life. He was sentenced to die for a crime he didn’t commit. In High Magick, Echols shares the meditations and practices he used to keep his sanity and advance his spiritual development while behind bars.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

It is a powerful book, not just because it is written in simple language and easy to understand, but because Echols is living proof that these techniques worked for him.

“Magick was the only thing in prison that gave my life purpose and kept me sane. Magick was the only thing I had to protect myself with. And that’s what this book is about — the practices that kept me alive for nearly two decades on death row.” pg 12

He shares some of the most basic practices like the Middle Pillar and Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram and, beyond the simple instructions of it, he gives the theory behind them. That’s helpful. Most of these kinds of books I’ve read don’t bother to go into the why’s. They’re too obsessed with the “how”.

“Every person on this earth is born with an entire universe of potential in them. Most people never cultivate the seeds of that potential, so the seeds go to waste and the people go through life wondering what went wrong, or blaming the world for everything that did go wrong. Magick waters those seeds to make that potential stir, grow, and flower.” pg 16, ebook.

Echols avoids most “loaded” terms with an eye on appealing to every manner of reader. For example, he uses the term “energy” to describe the force behind the rituals he’s describing. I’ve heard it called many things and that particular word is a good one, I think.

He makes no unfounded promises. He simply offers a way to experience something that worked for him.

“Magick is both an art and a science. Some techniques are known for providing specific effects, but results vary, as they say.” pg 21, ebook.

An interesting side story: One of the librarians at my local library said “these types of books” (spiritual, nature-based, or “magic”) have been in high demand lately. She said there’s something of a renaissance going on in those who come to the library. They’re looking for something. It’s unique to each person, but she said libraries are purchasing more and more of this type of book in an effort to fill that need.

“My grandfather used to say, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” I think most of you are familiar with the phrase, or at least an axiom with a similar message. It’s a curious way to remind ourselves that there’s more than one path to a particular destination…” pg 112, ebook

If you’re a reader looking for “this type of book”, I hope you find the right fit for you. Echols’ book should appeal to those looking for an introduction to the western occult tradition or simply the curious.

Thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: non fiction

You’re Married to Her? by Ira Wood

Use Your Head by Tony Buzan

Midnight Dreary: The Mysterious Death of Edgar Allan Poe by John Evangelist Walsh

Art Matters: Because Your Imagination Can Change the World by Neil Gaiman, Illustrated by Chris Riddell

The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings be Your Guide by Esther Hicks, Jerry Hicks

Spark: How to Lead Yourself and Others to Greater Success by Angie Morgan, Courtney Lynch, Sean Lynch

Never Caught: The Washingtons’ Relentless Pursuit of Their Runaway Slave, Ona Judge by Erica Armstrong Dunbar

The Midnight Assassin: Panic, Scandal, and the Hunt for America’s First Serial Killer by Skip Hollandsworth

High Magick: A Guide to the Spiritual Practices That Saved My Life on Death Row by Damien Echols

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