Managing stress and recovering from past traumas are some of the many challenges facing humanity in the modern era. Widen the Window addresses both those problems.
Elizabeth Stanley explains how individuals handle stress and trauma varies widely from person to person. It is first affected by your biology, then your unique childhood experiences making everyone’s responses different. What is incredibly stressful to one person may to a cakewalk to the next, and vise versa.
She describes the ability to manage responses to stress as a window. Through a variety of mindfulness techniques, healthy eating, maintaining a large social network, and getting plenty of rest, Stanley guides the reader through ways to “widen the window” or increase your ability to manage stress.
I am always on the lookout for ideas on how to appropriately manage stress. If I manage my stress responses when they’re small, it prevents something more serious from building up and coming out in other, perhaps more dysfunctional, ways.
I could see this book being useful to every reader who picks it up. Everybody has something they’re dealing with – from current work to family to friends issues or traumatic past experiences that push themselves into the present. We’re all in this together, even if your mind is telling you otherwise.
It is simple to pretend that people who perform shocking acts of violence are different than everyone else. It’s got to be something in their childhoods, we think, or maybe it’s a mental illness.
The most disturbing part of this book, and it admittedly has many, was that these women seemed so normal, just like you or me.
William Rosenau has combed through court files, newspaper articles and more to write Tonight We Bombed the U.S. Capitol, a non-fiction account of a radical leftist terrorist group. They planted multiple homemade bombs, robbed and killed people, all in the name of freeing the world from imperialism.
The majority of the group were highly educated, white women.
“They’d spent their entire adult lives embroiled in political struggles: protesting against the Vietnam War, fighting for black, Puerto Rican, and Native American liberation, and fighting against what they called U.S. ‘imperialism’ – that is, U.S. military aggression, political domination, and economic exploitation, particularly in the Third World.”
Rosenau paints a careful picture to reveal how, step-by-step, the people involved in the group felt more and more marginalized and victimized to the point where they felt any and all actions were justified.
“Their vision of what this heaven on earth would look like was hazy, but one thing was certain: creating it would require nothing less than violent revolution. This vagueness about ultimate objectives is typical among terrorists.”
There is so much information about a number of different people in this book that it can be overwhelming. But I think, ultimately, it is better to know what has gone on in the past because it affects the future in such a profound way.
“I discovered that during the 1970s and 1980s, the United States had waged an earlier ‘war on terror’ against violent domestic extremists, and it was during that period that the government created many of the counter-terrorism tools and approaches that continue to be used today.”
The privilege of living in a free society is that all manner of ideas can be discussed and embraced or dismissed depending upon their merits. I want equality, freedom from tyranny and opportunities for all people – no matter what you’re from, what you look like, or what your background is.
However, I won’t use violence to try and bring those ideals about. That seems to be the line in the sand for many. The people in this book didn’t have that line but they seemed to espouse higher ideals.
And what a tragedy that is. If only their brilliant minds had been directed towards methods of bringing about change that worked within society rather than against a nameless enemy, our country might have been better for all of them.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. The brief quotations cited in this review may change or be omitted entirely from the final print version.
My parents taught me that the universe is enormous and we humans are tiny beings who get to live on an out-of-the-way planet for the blink of an eye. And they taught me that, as they once wrote, “for small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.” pg 12, ebook.
Sasha Sagan, the daughter of celebrated scientist Carl Sagan, was raised to believe only what could be proven. Her father told her: “It’s dangerous to believe things just because you want them to be true.” pg 11, ebook.
But they also instilled a sense of wonder in Sasha about existence and humanity’s place in it. For Small Creatures Such as We is an examination of religious and secular celebrations and rituals from around the world. I learned a great deal about the similarities of humanity’s need to celebrate and recognize the seasons, rites of passage, and other universal milestones in life.
I wouldn’t describe myself as religious, rather I’m very spiritual. In my opinion, Sagan’s book could appeal to even those who may describe themselves as religious. She has a welcoming voice for every kind of reader.
“If you are devoutly religious, firstly, I’m delighted you’re reading this. Thank you. … This book is not intended to dissuade you, only to increase what there is to be joyful about.” pg 14
I think she succeeds in drawing a clear picture of what rituals mean to humanity. And that brought me so much hope for the future.
Some live lives of little meaning and less depth because there is no framework in place to support the creation of personal rituals outside of certain groups who may not share your vision of reality.
Fresh Off the Boat is the life story of Eddie Huang.
After learning about his various exploits, some of which were extremely dangerous, I was amazed that he’s still around to recount them.
I picked up this memoir because I’ve seen almost every episode of the network family comedy, “Fresh Off the Boat,” and wanted to read the source material behind it.
As sweet as the show is, I think it does Huang a disservice.
I guess because it’s on network television, writers have essentially edited Huang’s life story. In the television show, the character of Eddie loves rap music, basketball and eating, (like he did in real life) but it leaves out the more real portions of Huang’s history.
His classmates called him racial slurs on an almost daily basis. He was subjected to physical abuse from his parents. He got mixed up in drugs and selling name brand shoes. He was arrested for fighting.
The reason why his grandmother is in a wheelchair, which is depicted on the show though the reason is never given, is because her feet were bound as a child.
All of that realness is completely missing from the television show. But it is so important to creating the man Huang is today.
The differences between the book and the tv series aside, Huang has a fascinating voice. He’s, at turns, funny and real. He explains his more obscure slang references at the end of each chapter in footnotes.
“I think my mom is manic, but Chinese people don’t believe in psychologists. We just drink more tea when things go bad.” pg 12, ebook
The window Huang opens into his culture is an enlightening one. He’s the first generation of his family to be born in the United States, but he doesn’t ever really embrace being American. He exists in a realm in between because he is never truly accepted by his European peers.
“Since kindergarten my parents had been sending me to Christian schools, where the teachers would feed me soap and made me use my right hand even though I’m a lefty, because we supposedly got a better education at parochial schools even if we weren’t actually Christians.” pg 26, ebook
In an effort to get along better with his teachers, Huang even acts as if he embraces Christianity when in reality he was just trying to survive. I felt sad that he had to pretend to be something other than who he was to make his way in the world.
“They’ll never let someone with a face like you on television.” To this day, I wake up at times, look in the mirror, and just stare, obsessed with the idea that the person I am in my head is something entirely different than what everyone else sees. pg 41
I highly recommend this memoir for readers who want to learn about another person’s life experience. Huang has penned an engrossing memoir about someone who took some unexpected turns on the way to his destiny — creating a wildly popular eatery in New York City. I enjoyed every story and learned so much.
Though everyone will one day die, Michael Greger gives some tips to help you live as long and as healthily as possible.
I’m not going to debate the merits of different diets which seem to change as quickly as fads. I think everybody should try to incorporate healthy habits that are right for them as they are able.
How Not to Die is packed with ideas on that front.
I think the most interesting part of this book are the effects that various foods have on the body. But you don’t have to take Greger’s word for it, experiment and see what works for you.
In Freedom Libraries, Mike Selby remembers and honors the volunteers and patrons of the numerous libraries set up to serve black populations mainly in the southern states during the civil rights era and later.
During that period of history, the institutionalized racism of many southern towns extended to library services. Books and learning programs were specifically curated at whites-only libraries in order to propagate the disgusting ideology of white supremacy in addition to keeping the black population illiterate and subjugated.
“Pattie Mae McDonald operated a “Freedom Library” out of two rooms of her modest home. This was enough to earn her and her family terror and attempted murder.”
The volunteers and anyone who was brave enough to visit the freedom libraries, set up in private homes and wherever a semi-safe space could be found, were subject to shootings, harassment and arrest by local authorities, and even fire bombings. Some gave not only of their time but also their lives to keep the freedom libraries going. It is a frightening and dark moment in library history that, I feel, has been largely forgotten, until now.
“The right to vote would be everything for African Americans. The right to read would be something else entirely. Voting would make them citizens; libraries would make them free.”
In addition to remembering the bravery and sacrifice of those involved with the freedom libraries, this book illustrates some of the particular problems of librarianship that came along with the creation of the libraries.
Sadly, the American Library Association did little, if anything, to assist in the creation of freedom libraries, even though their written policies were against segregation. Very few of the volunteers who ran the organizations knew anything about cataloging and maintaining library collections. There was no money for curating books or creating community programs. Yet, somehow, the freedom libraries persevered in both expanding their collections and offering a wide variety of enriching and educational programming in the midst of life-threatening situations.
This perseverance may have had something to do with the uniquely fluid characteristics of libraries themselves.
As Selby points out, after the firebombing of the McComb Freedom House: “With the building still smoldering, the after-school youth just waited on the ground outside. The children somehow knew what many adults in the twenty first century have difficulty grasping: the fact that a library is a service, not a collection. A library exists for the librarians and patrons, not the other way around.”
Highly recommended for readers who like to remember forgotten moments in history and for anyone who knows, or would like to learn more about, the power and life-changing reality of public libraries.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free digital copy of this book. And thank you for reading.
“We shouldn’t regard rest as a mere physical necessity to be satisfied grudgingly; we should see it as an opportunity. When we stop and rest properly, we’re not paying a tax on creativity. We’re investing in it.” pg 11
I think we’re living in a culture that generally glorifies busyness and a frantic pace of achievement. That’s not news.
Alex Soojung-Kim Pang takes a deep dive into the science of rest and shares the insight that taking breaks isn’t something we should squeeze into our schedule. Rest, he argues, is as important as the work itself.
Four of his major points are: “work and rest are partners”, “rest is active”, “rest is a skill”, and “deliberate rest stimulates and sustains creativity”.
I was particularly interested in the creativity-related point of Pang’s hypothesis.
“You need time for rest because that’s when the unconscious mind can get to work. You can’t command inspiration to appear, but you can nudge it, most notably by working steadily and regularly. The romantic image of the artist who does nothing until he’s inspired and then produces in a furious burst of work is misleading.” pg 91
Pang looked into the lives and routines of creative thinkers throughout history and came to the perhaps surprising conclusion that four concentrated hours of work per day is sufficient.
“The pattern of working four hard hours with occasional breaks isn’t just confined to scientists, writers, or other people who are already successful, well-established, and have the freedom to set their own schedules. You can also see it among students who go on to become leaders in their fields.” pg 67
The rest of the day that geniuses such as Charles Darwin or Ernest Hemingway lived were filled with activities like long walks, day dreaming, active rest, sport and other seemingly unrelated moments that fueled the subconscious mind.
“The right kinds of rest would restore their energy while allowing their muse, that mysterious part of their minds that helps drive the creative process, to keep going.”
What these activities may be vary from person to person, but Pang’s research proves time and again that the rest portion of the day is critical.
One of my favorite parts of this book dealt with Malcolm Gladwell’s popular 10,000 hours for mastery idea that he discusses in his book, Outliers. Yes, Pang argues, 10,000 hours are necessary for exceptional performance. But we’re ignoring the rest of the equation.
“It comes after 10,000 hours of deliberate practice, 12,500 hours of deliberate rest, and 30,000 hours of sleep.” pg 74
From morning routines and sabbaticals to naps and carving out time for more sleep, Pang exhorts the reader to make rest a priority. It’s not lazy, it is one of the building blocks of a creative and productive life.
This creatively titled self-help book, Everything is F*cked, presents psychology, philosophy and the author’s view of reality.
In a series of essays, Mark Manson discusses a variety of topics including the differences between the “thinking brain” and “feeling brain.” He uses Isaac Newton’s laws to create a parallel universe’s version of emotional laws and completes a fairly scathing dissection of religion.
Throughout the various topics, he circles back to the idea of hope and how it can potentially create more problems than it solves.
“This book is my little source of hope. It gives me purpose; it gives me meaning. And the narrative that I’ve constructed around hope is that I believe this book might help some people, that it might make both my life and the world a little bit better.” pg 15
For example, here’s his take on the psychological cause of a underlying feeling of unworthiness: “This feeling of unworthiness is usually the result of some bad sh*t happening to us at some point. We suffer through some terrible stuff, and our Feeling Brain decides that we deserved those bad experiences. Therefore, it sets out, despite the Thinking Brain’s better knowledge, to repeat and re-experience that suffering.” pg 46
And here’s the analogy he crafts around his explanation of unworthiness: “Put another way, the problem isn’t that we don’t know how not to get punched in the face. The problem is that, at some point, likely a long time ago, we got punched in the face, and instead of punching back, we decided we deserved it.” pg 46
His writing is simple and succinct, which could be incredibly useful for readers who are looking for more information about the self help topics presented. I didn’t particularly care for Manson’s overall style, but that’s a personal preference rather than a commentary on the value of what he’s discussing.
“The stories of our future define our hopes. And our ability to step into those narratives and live them, to make them reality, is what gives our lives meaning.” pg 70
My favorite part of this was when Manson dived into some Buddhist philosophy in the chapter, “Pain is the Universal Constant.” He discusses the teaching of suffering being similar to a person struck by arrows. The first arrow brings physical pain and the second brings the emotional pain, which can be far worse and last longer than the physical pain because of the narratives we weave around it.
Through meditation, the second arrow, emotional pain, can be diminished or perhaps eliminated.
“That while pain is inevitable, suffering is always a choice. That there is always a separation between what we experience and how we interpret that experience. That there’s always a gap between what our Feeling Brain feels and what our Thinking Brain thinks. And in that gap, you can find the power to bear anything.” pg 186
Recommended for readers who aren’t offended by strong language and have the ability to hold the book they’re reading in that gap in their minds — between the thoughts and the emotions, in the space of pure being.
Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures is a sparkling biography about Mrs. Winston Churchill. The biographer credits Clementine with supporting and providing the confidence necessary to her famous husband so that he could live the extraordinary life of service that he did.
In the meantime, she also devoted herself to her country as well as raised a family. Her role in Churchill’s life has gone largely unnoticed, but it seems she is finally taking her place in history.
Not only did they weather repeated public and personal humiliation together, they overcame the bitterest of personal tragedies, and survived the all but intolerable strains of being at the center of two world wars. … The question is not simply what did she do for him, but also what could he have done without her? pg 9
I knew, in a general way about Winston Churchill’s life, but this biography about Clementine fills in many of the gaps in my knowledge. And actually, it was quite interesting reading. The personal life of the Churchills was filled with a surprising amount of drama and scandal.
In addition, they worked with and knew so many powerful people from the time period. I particularly liked the chapters about Clementine’s acquaintance with Eleanor Roosevelt.
The case can be made that no other premier’s wife, in a democratic country at least, has played such a pivotal role in her husband’s government — arguably greater during the Second World War than the greatest of American First Ladies, Clementine’s direct contemporary, Eleanor Roosevelt. pg 18
The pictures bring this incredible woman, and the trying times she lived in, to life. Many of the photos are un-posed and Clementine is looking off camera, smiling at other people. Even in photos, one gets the sense of how much of this woman’s life was lived in the public eye.
Though her contributions were perhaps unrecognized during her lifetime, Clementine was appreciated by her husband. Take this note he wrote to her on their fortieth wedding anniversary:
“I send this token, but how little can it express my gratitude to you for making my life & any work I have done possible.”
She is certainly a woman who deserves to be remembered.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. It is slated to be on sale in October 2019. Please note, the brief quotations I cited in this review may change or be omitted in the final print edition.
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