In I’ll Have What She’s Having, Chelsea Handler shares amusing (often hilarious) stories and anecdotes about her family, relationships, pets and other memories from her life. The focus of the essays is all about uplifting and encouraging others through sharing the gifts and love that Chelsea has experienced throughout her life.
“This woman I’ll become, she will never be silent.” pg 4
Through the use of meditation, exercise, professional therapy, and various psychedelics, Ms. Handler has reached a relatively stable and positive stage of her life. As someone who has enjoyed her books and stand-up comedy for years, it is such a pleasure to read that she is both happy and thriving.
“None of the things other people have called me has ever really mattered. What other people say about you only matters if you believe what they are saying is true.” pg 18
She not only stands up for herself in these pages- defending her choices and lifestyle from both naysayers and judgey people of all types, but she also stands up for others. Ms. Handler has a talent for seeing how someone else is hurting and bringing them the comfort that they need most at that time.
It is a rare gift.
“Sitting around and thinking of all the people who don’t love you or don’t want to hang out with you diminishes your own light. … There are many moments in life when your own light is all you need.” pg 104
As someone who is childless by choice, Ms. Handler does not use this as an excuse to be standoffish when the young people in her life need assistance. In this book, she discusses at length how she is a matriarch/patriarch to both her family and her friends’ children. She sets an example for how to be and interact in the world- as a strong woman and parental figure.
I believe it is this type of behavior that builds strong communities, which uplifts everyone. Well done, Chelsea!
Highly recommended for readers who enjoy Ms. Handler’s comedy but also anyone who is looking for a pick-me-up in book form. I took great courage from I’ll Have What She’s Having and I hope others do too.
“I love my Mother Country, and I love my family, and I always will. I just wish, at the second-darkest moment of my life, they’d both been there for me. And I believe they’ll look back one day and wish they had too.” pg 386
I didn’t know what to expect from Spare, Prince Harry’s memoir. In the days after its release, it seemed like readers were quickly scanning the pages, looking for the most shocking details to smear in headlines.
What they left out in favor of the more salacious details, in my opinion, were the tender and intimate moments that really mattered.
What do I mean?
I mean the countless, quiet and unremarkable moments Harry shared with his friends and family.
I mean things like the fact that Harry struggled with mental health and chose to seek out treatments again and again in an effort to find healing and peace.
He paints the picture of not an out-of-touch prince, but as a flawed yet hopeful person trying to find his place in the world.
Harry’s grief for his mother and love for his family form the large part of his narrative. Almost the entire book is a beautiful dedication to them.
I liked how Harry took widely reported events and shared his own feelings about what happened, from an unfortunate costume choice to the rumors swirling around about his out-of-control behavior.
He takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t seek to lay blame at the feet of others. Which, let’s be honest, he could have.
Some kinds of fame provide extra freedom, maybe, I suppose, but royal fame was fancy captivity. pg 199
Harry could have focused on the bubble he was raised in and put every decision he ever made into the hands of others. But, in this book, he doesn’t.
I came away from reading Spare with a new found respect for Prince Harry. I hope that his new life, away from the flashing lights, is everything that he hopes and dreams it will be.
Highly recommended for readers who enjoy memoirs. Thanks for reading!
Additional thoughts added February 11, 2026. Original review posted February 21, 2023.
Almost three years on from my initial review of this book, I find I have a few more things to add.
The biggest fallout of the publication of Spare, which I’m aware of, are efforts made on the part of certain political elements in the United States to have Prince Harry’s visa reviewed in light of his confession to minor drug use in his youth.
The hypocrisy of the whole thing boggles my mind. Not only did we (as recently as last year) have an unelected someone who carried a “pill box” of ketamine and various other substances (I don’t pretend to know exactly what) around the White House, we gave this same someone the reigns of power, encouraging them to “doge” our various government institutions while hopped up on God only knows what.
Not only was this someone born in another country, they were actively taking drugs and moving through our systems of government.
Prince Harry, on the other hand, is not seeking to move through government circles. He is not, as far as I’m aware, currently running around with a pill box. He only wants to raise his children and live a life of peace with his wife away from the invasive cameras who profit upon his every smile and frown.
Why do we persecute some while giving others the keys to the kingdom? Hypocrisy and hate, that’s why. He has different values than some and these some ones seek to drive him away.
I call shenanigans.
In addition, other famous people from various areas of society have also written memoirs where they own up to drug use, some in a very major way, and we don’t drag them through the court system to answer for their past.
One prime example of this is Chelsea Handler’s latest I’ll Have What She’s Having. You can read my review of it here:
Not to get her in trouble too, but in her latest she writes about experimenting with various substances while at her vacation place in Canada. Are the Canadians chasing Ms. Handler, demanding she leave the country for her behavior? Heck, no. Why can’t we be more like Canadians?
Then, Charlie Sheen’s awesome multi-part documentary on Netflix also comes to mind. I haven’t written a review about that yet but perhaps in the future I will. In it, he talks about crazy drug use. Are we going after him for owning up to his past mistakes? No, we’re celebrating his rehabilitation and hard-won sobriety.
Prince Harry didn’t even remotely approach Charlie’s drug use and yet see above for all the crap he took for a few lines written about experimentation in his younger years.
Anyway, I think you get my point. Take the good and learn hard-learned lessons from those who have the bravery to share their lives with us rather than using their openness to harass them. Please.
One final thought, here is a chapter from my forth-coming book, The Light Congress, that I am dedicating to Prince Harry. I send my best wishes and desires for happiness and prosperity his way. May we all find what we seek in this life, the peace to live the way we deem best for ourselves and our children, and may the world learn to handle our own shadows.
I’m doing a series at work (a library) where I’m reading the classics that are painted on the stairs. “Persepolis” is one of the titles featured there.
It is a modern classic about Marjane Satrapi’s childhood in Iran around the time of the revolution.
The story is told in black and white graphics which took a little getting used to, but by the end, I rather liked.
I liked Marjane a lot. But, having a daughter myself, I couldn’t help but empathize with her parents a little. They were trying to raise their daughter in such a challenging time- I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.
Even sending her out the door to school every day must have been a trial.
“Persepolis” has appeared on challenged or banned book lists in the past and I don’t understand why. I didn’t find anything offensive in these pages. The truth could be disturbing, but it is a good thing to put yourself in another person’s shoes for awhile.
It makes me realize what a charmed childhood I enjoyed.
Ray Bradbury, a titanic author of American science fiction, shares remembrances and anecdotes from his lifetime. Within the essays, Bradbury shares both his passion for writing and the methods with which he accomplished it.
“And what, you ask, does writing teach us? First and foremost, it reminds us that we are alive and that it is a gift and a privilege, not a right. … Secondly, writing is survival.” pg 12, ebook
From his childhood days in Waukegan, Illinois, to penning screen plays in Ireland, Bradbury mined his life experiences with his subconscious mind and unearthed, so to speak, the stories that he wrote.
Ray Bradbury
“And when a man talks from his heart, in his moment of truth, he speaks poetry.” pg 32, ebook
Bradbury also highlights the importance of writing at least a little bit every day. Through his habit of writing an essay a week, Bradbury cranked out hundreds during his lifetime. Though he admits not all of them were brilliant, each one brought something to his experience, whether that was honing his craft or creating avenues towards other brighter stories.
Recommended for aspiring authors or any reader who is a fan of Bradbury. This book shines a spotlight on both the man and his creations.
Educated is a gripping memoir by Tara Westover about her unconventional upbringing in remote Idaho, how she left that life, and discovered both physical and emotional freedom through a world class education.
“(My father) never told me what to do if I left the mountain, if I crossed oceans and continents and found myself in strange terrain, where I could no longer search the horizon… He never told me how I’d know when it was time to come home.”‘
This not a simplistic life story and Tara takes the time to look at what happened as truthfully and clearly as she can. This has led her to some difficult conclusions.
For example, Tara’s father embraced a survivalist lifestyle not only because of his religious convictions, but also because of a deep-seated paranoia. It wasn’t until Tara attended a college level psychology class that she realized her father’s particular way of thinking could be indicative of a mental disorder.
In addition to his erratic and paranoid behavior, the conservative nature of her father’s view on the roles for women has had a long-lasting impact on Tara. It led her to minimize physical abuse that took place in her childhood home as well as struggle to find her own place in the world. And, until a life-changing accident affects her father’s health permanently, Tara never saw her mother as an equal in her parents’ relationship, which, in turn, seriously affected how she viewed herself in relationship to the people around her.
All of the various events and family members Tara describes have far reaching consequences for her eventual life away from her family’s mountain home. Her journey from the past to the future was extraordinary and makes for a great read.
I had heard a lot of bookish chatter about Educated over the last two years and was skeptical about how good it might actually be. Those fears were ill founded- I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir, reading it in only a handful of days. I highly recommend it.
There are some trigger warnings for readers who have struggled with mental disorders or been victims of physical abuse. This book also contains some slightly graphic descriptions of life threatening injuries.
David Sheff examines the life and spiritual transformation of Jarvis Jay Masters, a man who has spent years on death row and in solitary confinement for a crime he says he didn’t commit.
“Even if Masters was innocent, I didn’t know what to think about the claims that he was, as his supporters described him, an enlightened Buddhist practitioner who had changed and saved lives.”
It is a powerful non-fiction account not only because Masters is honest and open about how he came to be where he is today, but because the spiritual lessons he has discovered throughout his experience are applicable for all of us. You don’t have to be sitting in a literal prison to feel like you’re locked in a cell and can’t get out.
The mind and heart can create suffering wherever in the world you are.
“Set in a place of unremitting violence, insanity, confusion, and rage, Masters’s story traverses the haunted caverns and tributaries of loneliness, despair, trauma, and other suffering- terrain we all know too well- and arrives at healing, meaning, and wisdom.”
I don’t think you need to be a practitioner of Buddhism to appreciate the wisdom in this book. Spiritual lessons like the knowledge that can be found in self awareness and how to obtain freedom from suffering can be helpful for all of us.
I enjoyed the book so much that I read it in only a few sittings.
The lama wrote that all people have been sentenced to death- in that way, Jarvis wasn’t unique. … “We all live in a prison, and we all hold the key,” Chagdud Tulku wrote.
“Without question, if I weren’t a slutty as I am, my life thus far would have been far less interesting. … But my sluttiness has also been the cause of many existential bathroom-mirror moments.” pg 8, ebook
Karley Sciortino, sex blogger and author, has led a self-described colorful life. It certainly comes through in this tell-all memoir.
Through her experiences, Sciortino has proudly embraced her sexuality and her place in society as a woman who knows what she wants in the bedroom, and takes it. This hasn’t been a simple path.
Part of her struggles are society’s views and programming about “slutty” women.
“It’s a no-brainer that we’re influenced by the people and stories that make up the culture around us. And it’s difficult to cite an example, either real or fictional, of a happy, healthy, promiscuous person – let alone a woman.” pg 8, ebook
The rest of her difficulties seem to stem from a lack of self knowledge or awareness. Sciortino isn’t afraid to tackle any and all issues head on in her own unique way.
“…my goal isn’t to be good or normal or accepted. My goal is to be free. (And maybe also to troll society a bit in the process, for good measure.)” pg 12, ebook
It took me a couple chapters to get into this memoir. Sciortino’s writing style is frank to the point it sometimes feels abrasive, but it maintains an honest delivery throughout.
“My biggest revelation of the saga was that group sex is amazing for when you’re drunk, because you can just take a time-out whenever you’re bored or tired and someone else will literally take over for you. Genius.” pg 24, ebook
The early part of the book is fixated on sexual experiences and experimentation. As she delves deeper into her underlying motivations and psychology, Sciortino begins to get to the heart of matters. That’s when I felt this book became worth the read.
She had me asking myself some difficult questions: Why is sexuality such a complex issue? Why should people, in the privacy of their own homes and with proper consent, care what others think?
Why are there different standards for men and women?
And why is sexuality, which can play such a large part of the happiness in our lives, so difficult to talk about? (For some, not Sciortino, obviously.)
Recommended for mature readers who don’t mind a nearly stream-of-consciousness style of writing as well as a thick skin to push through Sciortino’s delivery to get to the meaning behind the words – because there is meaning to be found.
To Me, He Was Just Dad is a collection of essays written by the grown children of famous or otherwise notable men. From scientists to musicians, actors to drug lords, the vocations of the featured fathers runs the gamut. There’s even one Catholic priest.
“How wide, we wondered, is the gap between what the public thinks of notable men and what the sons or daughters of those men experience? Do great men make for great fathers?” pg 6
The essays themselves are intimate portraits into the private lives of all of these people who, because of their success at whatever they chose to do, the world acts like we already “know.” The fascinating part of this book is how little we know them at all.
We venerate famous people. This book is a great reminder that, at the end of the day, they’re just people and put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us.
Though, admittedly, some are much more talented at cooking eggs, like Claudine Pepin’s dad, the famed chef, Jacques Pepin: “I feel like Papa taught half of America how to make an omelet. He taught me how to make an omelet, too, and also how to walk, ski, and drive (that one was a touch stressful). But one of the most important things he taught me was how to be part of a deep and enduring friendship.” pg 35
Here’s Newton’s daughter, Esther: “My dad was an amazing, complicated, brilliant individual. It was important to me that he wasn’t remembered only as a nutjob with a cult.” pg 52
Escobar’s son remembers how his father, the drug lord, implored him not to do drugs. He also recalled living much of his early life on the run.
I think the small details add such dimension to these famous lives.
Take, for example, the fact that Evel Knievel, of daredevil fame, didn’t want any of his children to follow in his footsteps because he thought it was going to get them killed. It was fine for him to risk his life, but not ok for his beloved children.
Makes you view him just a little bit differently, doesn’t it? He seems like a multi-dimensional individual to me now and not just a fearless dude on a motorcycle.
Highly recommended for non-fiction readers. This book is a treat.
The Hungover Games is an amusing and poignant glimpse into the world of a woman who didn’t mean to become a mother, but who found her life’s path when she got there.
“It had all happened by accident. I hadn’t meant to have a baby at all. I hadn’t meant not to have a baby either, by which I mean I always thought I’d have children one day.”
Sophie Heawood
Sophie Heawood was barely scraping by, living from paycheck to paycheck as a journalist in Hollywood. After a misadventure in Mexico, which had nothing to do with her reproductive health, she discovers in a round-about way that if she ever does decide to have children, it may be impossible without fertility treatments.
“In my life, it was as if I was the captain of a magnificent ship but was somehow, always, at this moment, just this one perpetual moment, in a dinghy buffeted about in the ship’s wake, always about to catch up with myself. Up ahead on the magnificent ship, I was organised and sober and slim and shiny-haired, all of which was always coming soon, like a trailer in the multiplex that ran in my head twenty-four hours a day.”
And then, after a one-night stand with the man she had been one-night-standing with for years, Heawood becomes pregnant. What happens next, her journey into parenthood but also the adjustment of dreams she held her entire life, is a fantastic story.
I think part of what I enjoyed so much about this book is the nature of Heawood’s job. In the short time I spent as a reporter, I loved talking to people, learning what they had to teach me about life, and seeing who they really were behind whatever public persona they were projecting.
Heawood had the opportunity to interview Hollywood A-listers and she gives you an inside view of what that was like. Goldie Hawn, Jodie Foster, and Amy Adams are a few of the names who pop up in the memoir.
In addition to the peek behind the curtain into the mystical world of Hollywood fame, Heawood doesn’t shy away from faithfully recording the sometimes harsh reality of becoming a parent.
“My introduction to being a mother involves being told off by other women, again and again. Told that I am not doing it right, that there are rules. … When I do get home, it only takes me a couple of weeks to recover from the surgery, but it takes me about a year to recover from the few days in the hospital when I was supposed to be recovering, and to regain the caring instincts to protect this tiny creature, the ones that were crushed before they had even dared to begin.”
She faces difficulties not just with the newness of being a parent, but from her path as a single mother. Heawood has trouble finding housing as a single mother and going to prenatal classes alone. In this life transition that can be difficult at the best of times, she faces it on her own.
But her attitude is not woe-is-me. Heawood keeps the positive and empowered spin up throughout most of her challenges and, when she can’t manage it, she still appreciates the gift she has been given through her relationship with her daughter.
I enjoyed this memoir very much and read it in about two sittings. Recommended for readers who enjoy humorous memoirs about parenthood, Hollywood, dating, night-clubbing and the inevitable spiritual evolution that comes from finding the place in life that you were always meant to be.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. The brief quotations cited in this review may change or be omitted in the final print version.
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