The Princess Bride by William Goldman

** spoiler alert ** Please be aware: major spoilers ahead if you have not read the book or watched the film. Consider yourself warned.

A new classic tale about a woman named Buttercup, the man she loves named Westley, a giant who loves to rhyme named Fezzik and Inigo, a Spanish swordsman out for revenge.

Of course, like many, I’ve seen the film The Princess Bride about a bajillion times, but I’d never read the book. It was time to rectify that error. Because the book is always better than the movie, right?

“I love you,” Buttercup said. “I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I’ve ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more.” pg 59, ebook.

But not this time, friends. I know, I was shocked too.

That’s not to say the book isn’t charming, because it is. There’s all of the characters you love and they deliver the classic lines from the film, plus you get the backstory and additional humorous injections from William Goldman. Goldman created a story within a story — he acts as if he’s simply editing a book by S. Morgenstern and has created an entire history around this idea.

He’s so convincing, in fact, that I immediately googled Goldman to make sure I hadn’t missed something.

My favorite part of the book was exploring Prince Humperdinck’s “Zoo of Death”, which we only get to see in passing in the movie.

“The fifth level was empty. The Prince constructed it in the hopes of someday finding something worthy, something as dangerous and fierce and powerful as he was. Unlikely. Still, he was an eternal optimist, so he kept the great cage of the fifth level always in readiness.” pg 68, ebook.

Honestly, some of the scenes in the book go on a bit too long. The part where Westley challenges Prince Humperdinck “to the pain” instead of “to the death” comes off as creepy in the book, whereas, I felt, in the film it was kind of awesome. I’m not entirely certain what the difference is, except his speech is more to the point in the film.

“It means that I leave you to live in anguish, in humiliation, in freakish misery until you can stand it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this now, and live or die, it’s up to you: Drop your sword!” pg 225

Those are all just quibbles compared to the ending, which was the most shocking point of all.

Ok, as we all know, in the movie, it ends with a kiss and they all live happily ever after.

In the book, not so! Here are the last lines in the “official story” not counting a few more comments by Goldman:

However, this was before Inigo’s wound reopened, and Westley relapsed again, and Fezzik took the wrong turn, and Buttercup’s horse threw a shoe. And the night behind them was filled with the crescendoing sound of pursuit… pg 228, ebook.

That’s it. I nearly fell out of my chair when I read it. Here’s what our author said about it a few paragraphs later:

“I’m not trying to make this a downer, understand. I mean, I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”

It’s such an unsatisfying ending. I can see why they changed the film because I don’t think audiences would have stood for it, which probably says more about film-going audiences than readers, but still. Don’t readers deserve a happy ending too?

Thanks for reading!

You’re Married to Her? by Ira Wood

A surprising and amusing collection of essays by Ira Wood about his childhood, early relationships and, eventual marriage, to author Marge Piercy.

“Readers seeking insight into the creativity of a prolific American artist had best look at my wife’s own memoir, for these are my stories, those of the very lucky young man she chose not merely to put up with but to love, and for slim rewards except being fiercely loved in return.” pg 10, ebook.

These are not tame remembrances. Wood is cheerfully self-deprecating as he relates heavy drug use, promiscuous sexual behavior, and smashing disappointments as both an author and a publisher. He remembers the cut-throat politics during his time on the board of a small New England town. He talks gardening, sex at other people’s houses, and how he ruined one of his girlfriend’s big nights out.

Each essay, as outrageous as it may be, ties itself up in a surprisingly tender conclusion. Usually.

“The motivation that would always drive me in the face of overwhelming odds, the internal fire that no amount of personal failure, or success, would put out; as powerful as the force of life itself, my father’s everlasting gift to me: the burning envy of other people’s lives.” pg 26, ebook.

I loved Wood’s humor. I loved his insights. Really, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I found it in my library’s digital lending library and the cover drew my eye.

He reads a lot like David Sedaris but with more sex. I mean, he talks about sex more than the Sedaris books that I have read so far. Small disclaimer: I haven’t read them all.

“One night I left Boston so blindly drunk that I arrived in Wellfleet with a sandwich in my lap that I had neglected to eat and could not remember buying.” pg 38

Highly recommended for readers who like humorous non-fiction and aren’t put off by some scandalous situations.

Thanks for reading!

Step Aside, Pops (Hark! A Vagrant, #2) by Kate Beaton

An incredibly clever collection of comics with topics ranging from history to literature to pop culture and everything in between.

You don’t have to know a thing about Kate Beaton’s Hark! A Vagrant to enjoy this book. (I didn’t.) And it is so much fun.

Like any great observational comedian, Kate takes idiosyncrasies or exaggerates details to create comic gold.

For instance, here’s the dialogue from a comic about the Black Prince and some of his early exploits: “How are you feeling about being a hero of the battle of Crecy?” “Bro I am stoked.” “This is quite a momentous event so far in the war…” “Those French guys were like ‘Whoaaaaaa’.” “I keep forgetting you are sixteen.” “And my army was like eat it. Ka chow!!” pg 114

There’s another one I liked about the Greek god Zeus going on a first date that doesn’t make much sense without the pictures so you’ll just have to check it out for yourself on page 123. Basically, it’s a play on all of the mythological stories about Zeus revealing himself to mortals as a swan, shower of gold or something else and still getting the girl. Kate has a point. I mean, how does that even work… showing up as a shower of gold. It’s ridiculous and almost begging for a comic to make fun of it. Like this one. 🙂

In addition to the observational humor, Kate takes characters from old posters, newspaper clippings or magazine photos and gives them a back story. Some of her creations are just hysterical.

The spare and pencil-drawn style strongly reminded me of Nimona, which I also enjoyed. I highly recommend this collection for readers who enjoy comics or satire.

Thanks for reading!

Stay Hungry by Sebastian Maniscalco

Sebastian Maniscalco (one of my favorite comics) shares his journey from just another funny guy to successful stand-up comedian.

I was so excited to see Sebastian had penned a memoir. If you’ve never had a chance to enjoy one of his specials or to see him live, I highly recommend it. He has a very physical style of comedy. You can see his emotions on his face while he runs all around the stage, mimicking other people and ridiculous situations for laughs. Sebastian is an observational comic who skewers the every day nonsense that others might miss because it’s so mundane. It’s a gift.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t translate as well into a book. However, I was notified by Netflix that he has a special coming out this week with the same name as this book, Stay Hungry. You better believe I’m going to watch it to see if any of what was in here makes it on the screen. I think it might have a chance to shine that way.

As it is, the material just doesn’t have the same flavor as the comedy I’m accustomed to from Sebastian.

For starters, I think Jim Gaffigan has the food angle of comedy pretty well sewn up. Sebastian apparently enjoys food too, but it didn’t feel like his introduction was particularly strong because I associate food so heavily with Gaffigan.

Another thing about me: I’m constantly starving. My entire day is planning around food. What’s for breakfast? Should I scramble a couple eggs like a normal human, or wolf down the dozen my appetite is telling me to do? pg 9, ebook.

Photo by Daniela Constantini on Pexels.com

See what I mean?

On the other hand, Sebastian quickly moves away from the “food” type of hungry into the real meaning of this work, which is to always keep looking and moving towards the next step of your career. This is more about “being hungry” for success, not resting on your laurels.

He’s been a mover and a shaker almost his entire life, having worked multiple jobs from a very young age. Sebastian was kicked into the workforce by his father and supported by his large Italian family. This cocoon of family meant more to him than he realized, but its importance became clear when he moved to Los Angeles and his family was back in Chicago.

So I went from that environment, a welcoming, warm home with tons of people coming and going, to my one-bedroom in Hollywood with a naked man outside the only window. pg 20, ebook.

Success didn’t come either quickly or easily to Sebastian, but he never gave up. He always kept reaching for it. And he relied on his friends and family back home to never let him forget where he came from.

I love to share what I’m doing with my family and old friends. That’s where I get my enjoyment. No matter what, I can count on these guys to keep me grounded and rip me to shreds. pg 159, ebook.

In that way, this memoir is totally relatable. In other ways, Sebastian mingles with celebrities and lives an upper class lifestyle with his bride. He describes the first weeks of being a new parent and learning the ins-and-outs from a night nurse, who stayed with his baby so they could get some sleep. Not so relatable…

Recommended for readers who like memoirs about someone climbing the ladder to their dreams. Fans of Sebastian may want to stick to watching his stand up routines, many of which are available on Netflix.

Thanks for reading!

I’m Not a Terrorist, But I’ve Played One on TV: Memoirs of a Middle Eastern Funny Man by Maz Jobrani

Humor is an interesting concept. It varies from person to person and even day to day. Something that you find funny today might not even make you crack a smile tomorrow.

Photo by William Fortunato on Pexels.com

But what I’ve discovered through watching a variety of stand-up comics is that the most successful ones tend to bring their own lives into the act in a powerful way. They distill what makes them unique and apply a humorous lens to it, making you feel like laughing or crying. It’s almost like storytelling through jokes. I feel like you have to be a brave person to even attempt it. Because what if you fail?

Have you ever watched Maz Jobrani‘s stand up? He does some storytelling and it’s rather funny. But he also has a back-and-forth with his audience, highlighting the differences between everyone but, beneath that, our essential humanness.

It is that unique voice that comes through in his memoir. He describes growing up Iranian in America and it wasn’t an easy ride. But even through his difficulties, Maz makes it amusing.

He helped me to understand what it is like to be an Iranian in America and also a successful, stand up comic.

In addition to his life story, Maz’s detailed descriptions of other countries makes the reader want to travel to all sorts of exotic locales. This book made me want to visit Petra. 🙂 Some day, perhaps.

If you enjoyed I’m Not a Terrorist, But I’ve Played One on TV, you may want to read Sleepwalk With Me and Other Painfully True Stories by Mike Birbiglia, Shrinkage: Manhood, Marriage, and the Tumor That Tried to Kill Me by Bryan Bishop or I’m Just a Person by Tig Notaro.

In similar ways to this book, Birbiglia, Bishop and Notaro take their lives and share them with us, the readers. They make you laugh, and like Maz, you can’t help but appreciate the brilliance and bravery of comedians. Life isn’t always funny, but it can be. It just depends on what you focus on.

Thanks for reading!

Päntsdrunk (Kalsarikänni): The Finnish Path to Relaxation (Drinking at Home, Alone, in Your Underwear) by Miska Rantanen

Päntsdrunk, a satirical self help read, seemed fairly straight-forward to me. To keep your cool, occasionally you should take a page out of the Finnish playbook and put on your most comfy underwear, grab your favorite alcoholic beverage and chill out. But then Miska Rantanen had to write something to fill up the rest of the pages. There was quite a lot of filler material.

Päntsdrunk doesn’t demand over-the-top arrangements. Affordability and democracy are its hallmarks. It’s quick acting and suitable for all who have reached the age of majority.” pg 16

Photo by Mitchell Henderson on Pexels.com

Rantanen talks about how Finland developed this coping mechanism from a couple of different factors: freezing weather, long distances between cities and towns, and very little sunlight near the winter solstice.

“The Finnish term kalsarikanni is a simple compound word: kalsari (underwear) + kanni (state of inebriation). This pithy idiom crystallizes the essential: at its simplest, pantsdrunk means imbibing alcohol in one’s underwear at home without any intention of going out. The term’s ingenuity lies in everything it doesn’t imply.” pg 21

But pantsdrunk practitioners don’t have to stay in or solitary. You can drink as a couple, with friends, with a couple of friends. As the night wears on, you can go from pantsdrunk to plus pants at the club or bar, if the mood lends itself that way. The trick is to go with the flow of the evening and enter a state of total relaxation.

“As a philosophy, pantsdrunk is not in conflict with lagom and hygge. Au contraire. They all spring from the same Nordic origins and share the same ultimate goals: optimal peace of mind, joie de vivre, comfort, equilibrium, and recuperation as embodied in a snug coziness.” pg 22

Pantsdrunk is not about getting blasted as fast as possible. It’s a slow slide into mellow.

“At its most minimal, pantsdrunk is a device for balancing life and work. It can, however, be expanded into a lifestyle and worldview. The beauty of pantsdrunk lies in its possibilities.” pg 27

I’m not sure about some of the statistics Rantanen cites in his book, but he claims Finland is one of the stablest, safest, most educated countries in the world. And he credits the practice of pantsdrunk with part of this fantastic result.

Heidi, you may say, what could your problem be with pantsdrunk? Anyone who has dealt with an alcoholic can easily point out the potential roadblocks to happiness with this. Also, there’s addiction issues to consider. None of which can be dealt with if you’re indulging in this behavior by yourself and aren’t aware there’s a problem.

Rantanen does say that if pantsdrunk becomes a conscious choice every day to deal with stresses, that a reshuffling of your life may be in order. He also suggests counting bottles or cans to keep tabs on how much you’re consuming. Or gauging how well you’ve managed to balance drunk and relaxed by your hangover the next day.

I’m not entirely convinced this is possible. Rantanen also talks about how pantsdrunk has gotten a bad rap with some films depicting people drinking in their underwear alone as sad and pathetic rather than empowered and relaxed.

One of the most uplifting performances (of pantsdrunk) can be seen during the credits of Bridget Jones Diary (Maguire 2001), when Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger) belts out the quintessential pajama playback solo while sloshed on red wine. pg 76.

But wasn’t that one of her lowest points?

Recommended for brave readers over 21 who mostly have their lives together, but need to allow themselves to chill out now and then.

For other satirical self-help reads, please see the following reviews:

Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight

Check out Sarah Knight’s latest self help: You Do You

How to Be Dull by Basil Morley, Esq.

And thanks for reading!

Bloodsucking Fiends (A Love Story, #1) by Christopher Moore

Jody was attacked by a man who bit her neck and left her for dead in an alleyway. She woke up a vampire. What is she going to do now?

“(Jody) was twenty-six and pretty in a way that made men want to tuck her into flannel sheets and kiss her on the forehead before leaving the room; cute but not beautiful.”

C. Thomas Flood wants to be an author, but where he comes from (Indiana) that’s not an acceptable trade for a man. He flees to San Francisco to “starve in the city.” After some misadventures with too many roommates and turkey bowling at the Safeway, he meets Jody and his life is never the same.

“Turkey bowing is not recognized by the NCAA or the Olympic Committee. There are no professional tournaments sponsored by the Poultry Farmers of America, and the footwear companies do not manufacture turkey bowling shoes. … Despite this lack of official recognition, the fine and noble tradition of ‘skidding the buzzard’ is practiced nightly by supermarket night crews all over the nation.”

Christopher Moore takes on the “vampire genre” and it’s not his best effort. If you’re going to read one of his books, I recommend Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.

It’s still ridiculous fictional literature, but I enjoyed the characters in Lamb more. In Blocksucking Fiends, everybody reads like one cliché after another.

“In another time she would have called a girlfriend and spent the evening on the phone being comforted. She would have eaten a half gallon of ice cream and stayed up all night thinking about what she was going to do with her life. .. But that was another time, when she had been a person.”

And perhaps that was Moore’s point. It was as if he was mocking the sub-genre of vampire novels by his one-dimensional characters and thin plot.

Or maybe it is just a sub-par effort.

I don’t think I’ll be picking up the other books in this series.

Thanks for reading!

You Do You: How to Be Who You Are and Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want by Sarah Knight

The self-styled “anti-guru” Sarah Knight adds another volume to her quirky, profanity-laden self-help series with You Do You.

The focus, as you can guess from the title, is the art of allowing your authentic self to shine through without feeling guilt or being so far out of the social norms that you border on “psychopath.”

You Do You is about accepting your strengths and your flaws, whether those flaws are self-identified, or just things that you’re perfectly happy about but that other people seem to have a problem with. Or, should I say, that you WOULD be happy about, if you felt a little more confident in yourself…” loc 146, ebook.

And, like the previous books, Knight doesn’t stint on the bad words. She admits she kept the title clean so a certain publication *cough* New York Times *cough* would print the all the words of the title in their sought after Best Seller list.

Which Knight has made before… but had her titles censored for their content.

“The advice in this book boils down to one simple mantra: Stand up for who you are and what you want. How do you do that? Stop letting other people tell you what to do, how to do it, or why it can’t be done.” loc 188, ebook.

I enjoyed You Do You, but I felt it wasn’t as strong as Knight’s other titles because she spends so much time rehashing material she has already covered elsewhere.

That being said, I like Knight’s style, her famous diagrams and her illuminating stories. This is an author who has been there, done that and cussed about it.

Photo by Anna Nekrashevich on Pexels.com

My favorite diagram in You Do You is Knight’s “ouroboros” or symbolic, conjoined serpent of wisdom picture. The text with the cute doodle says: “Is it right or wrong? You won’t know unless you have the confidence to take a risk and find out. If you regret your decision, then accept the consequences, swallow the lesson, and start over. With confidence.” loc 1995, ebook.

Verges on mystic Eastern wisdom, doesn’t it?

She encourages all readers everywhere to let the strange sides of yourself out- within certain boundaries. Don’t hurt anybody. Don’t take advantage of people. Be reasonable within your freakishness.

“Now, with those ground rules established, I do declare that we, as a society, should celebrate weirdness in all its forms- and that the right to be weird should be inalienable- just like the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” loc 2130, ebook.

“You do you” and let everybody else do them. It’s that simple. It’s that hard.

Sarah Knight may be a bit of an acquired taste. Please don’t read unless you have a high tolerance for bad words and, dare I say, mild snark.

But, if you are someone in need of encouragement to let your freak flag fly, look no further.

Thank you to NetGalley and Little Brown and Company for a free digital copy of this book. And thank you for reading!

Read my reviews of Sarah Knight’s other titles:

The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight

Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight

Life Is Like a Musical: How Broadway Can Help You Live Your Best Life by Tim Federle

Life is Like a Musical is a cute, self-helpish book, full of the wisdom Tim Federle gleaned from years of experience on the stage.

“Basically, think of this book as ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’ with jazz hands.” Introduction.

Tim’s advice is common sense, but I appreciated it anyway. Make your weaknesses your strengths. Be nice to everybody. Pay attention. Don’t try to be a perfectionist, and so on.

He pairs these nuggets with his life stories. So, it’s part-memoir, part-self help.

“When Bob Fosse had a bald spot, he put on a stylish hat. Where’s your bald spot? Or blind spot? Or thing that you can barely accept about yourself? Go put a hat on it, and make it something wonderful.” pg 23. There’s nothing wrong with advice like that.

First off, the key to approximately 90 percent of adulthood is appearing more interested in something than you actually are. Seriously.” pg 31.

Truth bombs, people.

Don’t give your power away. Remember who you are: “Please, never forget you’re the leading character in your own life. Read that sentence again: You aren’t the supporting cast. You’re it, baby.” pg 48.

And most importantly of all, have a sense of humor about the whole thing.

“Forgive yourself when you screw up. Develop a sense of humor that allows you to snort-giggle before anyone else can.” pg 139.

None of us are getting out of this thing called life alive. We may as well make the most of it.

I enjoyed this book. I was also a huge fan of his drink recipe book mixed with classic book titles: Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist.

Recommended for people who are looking for a peppy voice to get them back on track and singing throughout the soundtrack of their own lives. This read will do the trick.

Thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: humor

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

You’re Married to Her? by Ira Wood

Step Aside, Pops (Hark! A Vagrant, #2) by Kate Beaton

Stay Hungry by Sebastian Maniscalco

I’m Not a Terrorist, But I’ve Played One on TV: Memoirs of a Middle Eastern Funny Man by Maz Jobrani

Päntsdrunk (Kalsarikänni): The Finnish Path to Relaxation (Drinking at Home, Alone, in Your Underwear) by Miska Rantanen

Bloodsucking Fiends (A Love Story, #1) by Christopher Moore

You Do You: How to Be Who You Are and Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want by Sarah Knight

Life Is Like a Musical: How Broadway Can Help You Live Your Best Life by Tim Federle

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