Spare by Prince Harry

“I love my Mother Country, and I love my family, and I always will. I just wish, at the second-darkest moment of my life, they’d both been there for me. And I believe they’ll look back one day and wish they had too.” pg 386

I didn’t know what to expect from Spare, Prince Harry’s memoir. In the days after its release, it seemed like readers were quickly scanning the pages, looking for the most shocking details to smear in headlines.

What they left out in favor of the more salacious details, in my opinion, were the tender and intimate moments that really mattered.

What do I mean?

I mean the countless, quiet and unremarkable moments Harry shared with his friends and family.

The fact that Harry struggled with mental health and chose to seek out treatments again and again in an effort to find healing and peace.

He paints the picture of not an out-of-touch prince, but as a flawed yet hopeful person trying to find his place in the world.

Harry’s grief for his mother and love for his family form the large part of his narrative. Almost the entire book is a beautiful dedication to them.

I liked how Harry took widely reported events and shared his own feelings about what happened – from an unfortunate costume choice to the rumors swirling around about his out-of-control behavior.

He takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t seek to lay blame at the feet of others. Which, let’s be honest, he could have.

Some kinds of fame provide extra freedom, maybe, I suppose, but royal fame was fancy captivity. pg 199

Harry could have focused on the bubble he was raised in and put every decision he ever made into the hands of others. But, in this book, he doesn’t.

I came away from reading Spare with a new found respect for Prince Harry. I hope that his new life, away from the flashing lights, is everything that he hopes and dreams it will be.

Highly recommended for readers who enjoy memoirs. Thanks for reading!

Lust, Lies and Monarchy: The Secrets Behind Britain’s Royal Portraits by Stephen Millar

Stephen Millar examines British royal portraits and artwork created about royalty throughout history. In examining the small details and the context around the art, he shines the light on so many moments of forgotten history.

Through the strategic use of art, royals have controlled their images and used those images to maintain or increase their power. Take, for example, how the famous portrait of Henry VIII by Hans Holbein the Younger affected viewers:

“Strategically placed in the Palace of Whitehall and measuring three metres by four, the wall painting dominated the privy chamber where it was located. The effect on visitors was dramatic, one writing it was so ‘lifelike that the spectator felt abashed, annihilated in its presence.'” loc 444, ebook

Millar examines postures, costuming, setting and more so readers feel as if they have a new appreciation of these classic works of art. We’re also given an insider’s view and able to appreciate nuances that we might otherwise have missed.

“Why was Holbein’s depiction of Henry so influential? The stance taken by the king in the painting was radical, unashamedly masculine and defiant, with Henry staring directly at the viewer in a way that was highly unusual in royal portraiture in the early 16th century.” loc 457, ebook

My favorite of the art discussions is “The Rainbow Portrait” of Elizabeth I by Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger or Isaac Oliver. There is so much symbolism packed into one portrait. It’s fun to take it all apart.

Plus, Elizabeth I is one of my favorite historical figures. I go on about that in my review of Elizabeth I by Margaret George.

Millar helpfully includes the family tree of the royals every couple of chapters so its easy to keep track of who is who. And after the art, there’s a whole section of walking tours through London. At first, the two parts of the book seem unrelated, but when you go through the tours, you notice that he brought forward some of the history from the art and tied it to real world locations.

Talk about making history come alive.

Highly recommended for fans of history, especially forgotten history. Though some of the figures and events are well known, this book contained a few I had never heard of, which is always exciting to discover.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free copy of this ebook.

The Hungover Games: A True Story by Sophie Heawood

The Hungover Games is an amusing and poignant glimpse into the world of a woman who didn’t mean to become a mother, but who found her life’s path when she got there.

“It had all happened by accident. I hadn’t meant to have a baby at all. I hadn’t meant not to have a baby either, by which I mean I always thought I’d have children one day.”
Sophie Heawood

Sophie Heawood was barely scraping by, living from paycheck to paycheck as a journalist in Hollywood. After a misadventure in Mexico, which had nothing to do with her reproductive health, she discovers in a round-about way that if she ever does decide to have children, it may be impossible without fertility treatments.

“In my life, it was as if I was the captain of a magnificent ship but was somehow, always, at this moment, just this one perpetual moment, in a dinghy buffeted about in the ship’s wake, always about to catch up with myself. Up ahead on the magnificent ship, I was organised and sober and slim and shiny-haired, all of which was always coming soon, like a trailer in the multiplex that ran in my head twenty-four hours a day.”

But she never seemed to get there.

And then, after a one-night stand with the man she had been one-night-standing with for years, Heawood becomes pregnant. What happens next, her journey into parenthood but also the adjustment of dreams she held her entire life, is a fantastic story.

I think part of what I enjoyed so much about this book is the nature of Heawood’s job. In the short time I spent as a reporter, I loved talking to people, learning what they had to teach me about life, and seeing who they really were behind whatever public persona they were projecting.

Heawood had the opportunity to interview Hollywood A-listers and she gives you an inside view of what that was like. Goldie Hawn, Jodie Foster, and Amy Adams are a few of the names who pop up in the memoir.

In addition to the peek behind the curtain into the mystical world of Hollywood fame, Heawood doesn’t shy away from faithfully recording the sometimes harsh reality of becoming a parent.

“My introduction to being a mother involves being told off by other women, again and again. Told that I am not doing it right, that there are rules. … When I do get home, it only takes me a couple of weeks to recover from the surgery, but it takes me about a year to recover from the few days in the hospital when I was supposed to be recovering, and to regain the caring instincts to protect this tiny creature, the ones that were crushed before they had even dared to begin.”

She faces difficulties not just with the newness of being a parent, but from her path as a single mother. Heawood has trouble finding housing as a single mother and going to prenatal classes alone. In this life transition that can be difficult at the best of times, she faces it on her own.

But her attitude is not woe-is-me. Heawood keeps the positive and empowered spin up throughout most of her challenges and, when she can’t manage it, she still appreciates the gift she has been given through her relationship with her daughter.

I enjoyed this memoir very much and read it in about two sittings. Recommended for readers who enjoy humorous memoirs about parenthood, Hollywood, dating, night-clubbing and the inevitable spiritual evolution that comes from finding the place in life that you were always meant to be.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. The brief quotations cited in this review may change or be omitted in the final print version.

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures by Sonia Purnell

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures is a sparkling biography about Mrs. Winston Churchill. The biographer credits Clementine with supporting and providing the confidence necessary to her famous husband so that he could live the extraordinary life of service that he did.

In the meantime, she also devoted herself to her country as well as raised a family. Her role in Churchill’s life has gone largely unnoticed, but it seems she is finally taking her place in history.

Not only did they weather repeated public and personal humiliation together, they overcame the bitterest of personal tragedies, and survived the all but intolerable strains of being at the center of two world wars. … The question is not simply what did she do for him, but also what could he have done without her? pg 9

I knew, in a general way about Winston Churchill’s life, but this biography about Clementine fills in many of the gaps in my knowledge. And actually, it was quite interesting reading. The personal life of the Churchills was filled with a surprising amount of drama and scandal.

In addition, they worked with and knew so many powerful people from the time period. I particularly liked the chapters about Clementine’s acquaintance with Eleanor Roosevelt.

The case can be made that no other premier’s wife, in a democratic country at least, has played such a pivotal role in her husband’s government — arguably greater during the Second World War than the greatest of American First Ladies, Clementine’s direct contemporary, Eleanor Roosevelt. pg 18

The pictures bring this incredible woman, and the trying times she lived in, to life. Many of the photos are un-posed and Clementine is looking off camera, smiling at other people. Even in photos, one gets the sense of how much of this woman’s life was lived in the public eye.

Though her contributions were perhaps unrecognized during her lifetime, Clementine was appreciated by her husband. Take this note he wrote to her on their fortieth wedding anniversary:

“I send this token, but how little can it express my gratitude to you for making my life & any work I have done possible.”

She is certainly a woman who deserves to be remembered.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. It is slated to be on sale in October 2019. Please note, the brief quotations I cited in this review may change or be omitted in the final print edition.

Black Tudors: The Untold Story by Miranda Kaufmann

Scholar and historian Miranda Kaufmann has written vignettes of half a dozen or so Africans who lived and worked in England during the Tudor Era.

The trouble with this collection is that so little information exists, Kaufmann has to parcel it out among other more well-known history. I still found it interesting, but for readers looking for Black History only, it feels rather disappointing.

The answers are complex, but the questions that most commonly spring to mind about the Black Tudors are simple: why and how did they come to England? How were they treated? What were their lives like?” pg 3

The answers, in addition to complex, are brief. But this book did clear up some misconceptions I held about the time period.

For example: “Tudors were far more likely to judge a new acquaintance by his or her religion and social class than by where they were born or the colour of their skin, though these categories did on occasion intersect.” pg 4

Many of the records Kaufmann produces were held by the church — baptisms, marriages and so forth.

As an American, it is a different perspective to learn about a country’s history that was affected so little by slavery. People could move in and out of England with their slaves, but these unfortunate persons could also be freed or claim their freedom.

Henry VII set a precedent when he freed an African man named Pero Alvarez who was from Portugal, a country with slavery at that time. And it was backed up by the courts.

In author William Harrison’s “Description of England”, he wrote: “As for slaves and bondmen, we have none; nay such is the privilege of our country by the especial grace of God and bounty of our princes, that if any come hither from other realms, so soon as they set food on land they become as free in condition as their masters, whereby all note of servile bondage is utterly removed from them.” pg 16

I wish America had been more like that.

Readers get to learn about musicians, African princes, ship wreck divers, explorers and more in this book. Recommended for fans of history and non-fiction.

Thanks for reading!

Here’s the History Guy episode that I wrote after reading some of the historical happenings in this book:

Across Time And Death: A Mother’s Search For Her Past Life Children by Jenny Cockell

Jenny Cockell retained memories of a former life. In these memories, she died young and left children behind. Across Time and Death documents her acceptance of the memories and her search to find her previous family.

In childhood, my dreams were swamped by memories of Mary’s death. … All this, however, seemed inconsequential beside my fear for the children I was leaving behind.” pg 1.

In the religion of my childhood, reincarnation was neither taught nor accepted. But, as I’ve read different books, I’ve come to believe that it’s true.

I was so curious about it, in fact, that I participated in a past-life regression therapy session. The recording of it is mildly interesting, but mainly traumatic. I saw abuse, a lifetime of servitude and then a death that was penniless and alone in the dark.

The therapist can be heard on the recording, murmuring niceties about being “safe and secure.” There was a lot of, “let it go into the light” and “breathe in and out, slowly.”

Still, I walked out of that session and haven’t gone to another one since. I most likely never will.

If we do indeed live again and again, perhaps there’s a reason that we retain no memory of it. That’s my two cents. Back to Across Time and Death.

As a child, Jenny understood her past life memories more clearly than when she was an adult. “I had no cause to doubt that these memories were real. I assumed that memories of this kind were normal, and I expected everyone else to have them too.”pg 12.

Culture has such power to shape our worldview. Isn’t it true that part of the process for choosing the next Dalai Lama is that the candidate has to recognize the previous Lama’s belongings?

Jenny’s experience with regression through hypnosis seemed to echo mine. “Hypnosis is a strange experience even without the element of regression. All sorts of memories which have been hidden deep within the subconscious and cannot ordinarily be reached can be brought to the surface. This is double edged – both a wonderful and a disturbing experience at the same time.” pg 34. Yes.

When Jenny is finally able to overcome all of her doubts and fears, she then has to consider what the, now grown, children are going to think of her. “I needed to ask for help because I was beginning to panic. I wondered if I had any right to disturb Mary’s children or, conversely, if I had the right to keep my story from them.” pg 107. Which is a legitimate concern.

I’d recommend this book for people who are on the fence or just curious about reincarnation. If your mind is completely made up one way or another, I don’t know that Jenny’s testimony will mean as much to you.

Thanks for reading!

Nerd Do Well by Simon Pegg

Nerd Do Well is Simon Pegg’s life story interspersed with the tale of a fictional alter ego, Pegg, a James Bond figure with a robotic sidekick. His coming of age stories and fictional bits are hilarious but once Pegg gets into his movie making period, the book loses it’s momentum.

I preferred the nostalgia of the first time he saw Star Wars to the actuality of meeting his hero, George Lucas and finding him stand-offish. There’s something heart breaking about seeing childhood hero worship crumble in the face of cold hard reality.

Pegg’s education in film appreciation and critique make for truly fascinating observations about pop culture films. I took his thoughts about how the Anakin/Frankenstein scene in the third Star Wars movie could have been made into a memorable and fitting theatrical moment instead of the joke that it was (pg 328-329) to my husband, who is the most ardent Star Wars fan that I know. Husband said in response, “His way would have made it much better.” You’ll have to trust me when I say that that’s very high praise.

Another of my favorite parts in Nerd Do Well was Pegg’s explanation for American readers about why the pub occupies a prominent place at the center of British social life. I’d never really understood what the attraction was until he painted the scene.

I mean, in my hometown, we have all sorts of dive-bars lining main street where, any night of the week, I could roll in there and meet up with the prematurely aged classmates of mine who will never get out of that place. But, who wants to do that. The bar is the epitome of failure rather than community.

With his homemade quizzes, neighborhood regulars, and music, Pegg’s pub seems to be somewhere warm and inviting where I would actually enjoy hanging out. It makes much more sense to me now why Shaun of the Dead was based around a pub and also why most DnD campaigns begin in taverns.

If you enjoyed Nerd Do Well, you may want to read My Booky Wook (less Star Wars, more drugs, fairly funny) or Just a Geek: Unflinchingly honest tales of the search for life, love, and fulfillment beyond the Starship Enterprise (more Star Trek, more angst-filled than funny).

Thanks for reading!

Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners by Therese Oneill

Unmentionable made me truly appreciate how good I have it compared to my female ancestors.

This clever little book examines the gross, disturbing, and, at times, hilarious “unmentionable” facets of a Victorian woman’s life and also, their powerlessness in society when compared to their male counterparts.

The women’s rights portion sounds grim, but Oneill’s writing keeps it light. I learned so much and was entertained too.

For example, I don’t consider modern cities to be very clean, but Oneill explains in her book, that they are shining examples of cleanliness compared to what came before: Some would argue that the nineteenth century was one of the filthiest times in all of Western history, particularly in any urban, developed area. … Ankle deep in filth, I said, but forgive me, I was inaccurate. You will wish the filth terminated at your ankles. Foulness is everywhere. Grime and rot cling to the very air, the buildings, the people; even the soap is made out of lard and poison.” pg 20, ebook.

All that dirt, but bathing was considered bad for your health and even, depending upon your religious upbringing, immoral! I’ve never read a historical fiction that describes the foul stench of the streets or the crowd upon it… now, I know better. Thanks Unmentionable!

Make up and other personal care products used to be either oily goop or filled with poisonous substances that could kill you or permanently wreck your face.

With this in mind, Oneill gives us a new take on the story of Jezebel: “She painted her face, and tired her head [fixed her hair], and looked out at a window.” “Some think this means Jezebel planned to seduce her way out of this problem; others think she was facing death with composure and dignity. At any rate, her eunuchs saw that they were on the wrong team and shoved her out the aforementioned window, and dogs ate her face. Which reinforces the assumption that her face was coated in sinfully delicious animal fat.” pgs 67-68, ebook.

Because women really had no other choice, being the ideal wife and mother was no laughing matter: “Your only job now that you are a nineteenth-century wife is to do everything within your power during every waking moment to make his life so sweet and full that he will literally dread the glory of Christ’s return, if only because it will mean parting from your secret strudel recipe and the unmatched craftsmanship of your trouser hemstitch.” pg 130, ebook.

So, unreasonable expectations of perfection abounded at home.

Women, especially single, unmarried ones, weren’t supposed to go anywhere alone: “Etiquette for Ladies reminds us that no woman has any business being alone in a museum, a library, or any other such den of unwholesomeness. Wherever you are going, your behavior once you arrive should remain every bit as self-aware-but-pretending-not-to-be as when you were in transit.”pg 165, ebook.

The library is a “den of unwholesomeness”… ha!

But the worst of the era, in my opinion, was the medical community’s attitude towards women. At that time, we hadn’t figured out how the female body worked and didn’t connect the idea that people need intellectual stimulation and purpose for a life well lived.

That lead to the lumping of every female complaint under the title, “Hysteria”: “First I would like to tell you what hysteria actually was. Which is incredibly difficult. Because the only honest definition I can give you is “a misdiagnosis.” Epilepsy, diabetic shock, neural disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, postpartum depression, and bipolar disorders do not necessarily cause similar symptoms, but they were all commonly diagnosed as hysteria.” pg 173, ebook. So, pretty much, everything then.

Oneill reminds the reader that many of the rights, and indoor plumbing, and personal care products that we enjoy today are because of the demands for a better life by women who lived during the Victorian era.

I am so very grateful and humbled for their contributions to society and the sufferings that they endured so that their children’s children’s children would have it better. Some further (non-humorous) reading: Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own or Artemis: The Indomitable Spirit in Everywoman.

Thank you to Netgalley and Little, Brown and Company for a digital copy of this book & thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: great britain

Spare by Prince Harry

Lust, Lies and Monarchy: The Secrets Behind Britain’s Royal Portraits by Stephen Millar

The Hungover Games: A True Story by Sophie Heawood

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures by Sonia Purnell

Black Tudors: The Untold Story by Miranda Kaufmann

Across Time And Death: A Mother’s Search For Her Past Life Children by Jenny Cockell

Nerd Do Well by Simon Pegg

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