The Princess Bride by William Goldman

** spoiler alert ** Please be aware: major spoilers ahead if you have not read the book or watched the film. Consider yourself warned.

A new classic tale about a woman named Buttercup, the man she loves named Westley, a giant who loves to rhyme named Fezzik and Inigo, a Spanish swordsman out for revenge.

Of course, like many, I’ve seen the film The Princess Bride about a bajillion times, but I’d never read the book. It was time to rectify that error. Because the book is always better than the movie, right?

“I love you,” Buttercup said. “I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I’ve ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more.” pg 59, ebook.

But not this time, friends. I know, I was shocked too.

That’s not to say the book isn’t charming, because it is. There’s all of the characters you love and they deliver the classic lines from the film, plus you get the backstory and additional humorous injections from William Goldman. Goldman created a story within a story — he acts as if he’s simply editing a book by S. Morgenstern and has created an entire history around this idea.

He’s so convincing, in fact, that I immediately googled Goldman to make sure I hadn’t missed something.

My favorite part of the book was exploring Prince Humperdinck’s “Zoo of Death”, which we only get to see in passing in the movie.

“The fifth level was empty. The Prince constructed it in the hopes of someday finding something worthy, something as dangerous and fierce and powerful as he was. Unlikely. Still, he was an eternal optimist, so he kept the great cage of the fifth level always in readiness.” pg 68, ebook.

Honestly, some of the scenes in the book go on a bit too long. The part where Westley challenges Prince Humperdinck “to the pain” instead of “to the death” comes off as creepy in the book, whereas, I felt, in the film it was kind of awesome. I’m not entirely certain what the difference is, except his speech is more to the point in the film.

“It means that I leave you to live in anguish, in humiliation, in freakish misery until you can stand it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this now, and live or die, it’s up to you: Drop your sword!” pg 225

Those are all just quibbles compared to the ending, which was the most shocking point of all.

Ok, as we all know, in the movie, it ends with a kiss and they all live happily ever after.

In the book, not so! Here are the last lines in the “official story” not counting a few more comments by Goldman:

However, this was before Inigo’s wound reopened, and Westley relapsed again, and Fezzik took the wrong turn, and Buttercup’s horse threw a shoe. And the night behind them was filled with the crescendoing sound of pursuit… pg 228, ebook.

That’s it. I nearly fell out of my chair when I read it. Here’s what our author said about it a few paragraphs later:

“I’m not trying to make this a downer, understand. I mean, I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”

It’s such an unsatisfying ending. I can see why they changed the film because I don’t think audiences would have stood for it, which probably says more about film-going audiences than readers, but still. Don’t readers deserve a happy ending too?

Thanks for reading!

Devil’s Day by Andrew Michael Hurley

A slow-moving horror story that asks the reader to consider what may be the truth behind ancient customs and myths, and what secrets a small, isolated community may be hiding from the rest of the world.

“One late October day, just over a century ago, the farmers of the Endlands went to gather their sheep from the moors as they did every autumn. Only this year, while the shepherds were pulling a pair of wayward lambs from a peat bog, the Devil killed one of the ewes and tore off her fleece to hide himself among the flock.” pg 1

The small gathering of farms, Underclough, is as much a character in this story as the actual characters.

“When the first buildings appeared, I could tell that Kat was disappointed. I think she’d expected to find Underclough nestled in the valley, not dark and cramped like something buried at the bottom of a bag.” pg 24

There’s a sense of inevitability about the whole thing. You’re not just born in this place. You live, work and die here, on the edge of the wilderness and the known world.

“Living on the farms was one endless round of maintenance. Nothing was ever finished. Nothing was ever settled. Nothing. Everyone here died in the midst of repairing something. Chores and damage were inherited.” pg 38

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John Pentecost knows from his childhood that there are forces in nature that cannot be explained. There are whispers in the woods and shadows beneath the trees that move with their own power. There’s a reason why the farmers have a “Devil’s Day” each year, to put the spirit to sleep while they gather their flocks in peace.

“As the Devil watched me, the same question ran through my mind as incessantly as the river. Did I like stories? Did I like stories? I answered yes.” pg 146

Andrew Michael Hurley uses the environment and setting to slowly create a feeling of dread, but then I felt like he never delivered on the story that he so painstakingly sets up. The pace is glacially slow.

That being said, there are one or two scenes from Devil’s Day that haunted me when I read them. I just happened to be reading this the night a record-breaking windstorm blew through town. I heard eerie shrieks and groans coming from outside my windows throughout the evening.

I couldn’t help but wonder what I would say if the Devil asked me if I like stories…

Thanks for reading!

Kill the Dead (Sandman Slim, #2) by Richard Kadrey

“Subtle hunting, acting like a grownup, I really miss Hell sometimes.” pg 4

First of all, don’t read the Goodreads description of Kill the Dead before you read it. It gives far too much away!

Here’s a Heidi-no-spoilers blurb that should serve you just as well: James Stark, the half-angel, half-human and one hundred percent pissed off anti-hero is back. Keeping an apartment in Los Angeles doesn’t pay for itself, so Stark is on the hook for contract work for a variety of agencies including Vigil (a super secret department of Homeland Security) and Lucifer, yes that Lucifer.

Because of a small saving-the-world situation in the last book, Stark has become an underground local celebrity, which has its ups and downs. Part of the perks includes a upsurge in customers at the Bamboo House of Dolls, Stark’s favorite local dive.

“It’s good to have one thing that hasn’t changed much. We need a few anchors in our lives to keep us from floating away into the void. Like Mr. Muninn said the one time he came in. “Quid salvum est si Roma perit?” What is safe if Rome perishes?” pg 28

Trouble brews when people start to go missing in Los Angeles’ underground and some of the members of its leading magical families turn up dead. Looks like Stark is going to have to save the day again and he’s not happy about it.

“I didn’t save anyone. I just killed the bastards who needed killing. Get it? I don’t save good people. I murder bad ones.” pg 39

Why can’t the world just save itself? Hasn’t Stark suffered enough? But what’s a nephilim to do if not save the world while holding tightly to his fracturing sanity with both hands.

“You came back to get the people who hurt you and Alice and you did it. Great. Now you need to find the next thing to do with your life.” “Like learn the flute or maybe save the whales?” pg 57

Suffice to say, Stark finds a few new motivational factors in this book and we are treated to some fairly serious zombie action.

I enjoyed the second entry in the Sandman Slim series, but less than the first book. To start, I felt it was less focused. There’s a heck of a lot going on in Stark’s life and he doesn’t stop to ponder things. He’s always on the go. It makes for a book that you can’t put down, because if you do, you’ll forget who is doing what.

We see less of some of my favorite side characters, which was another bummer. Stark is so intense. He needs more comic relief than just his literal talking head roomie who is perpetually drunk and watching garbage on his computer.

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“I know whose side I’m on. Mine.” pg 236

And there’s the darkness factor. Again, this is urban fantasy with a heavy dose of pessimism. No one is coming to save our intrepid hero. There may be angels in heaven but they couldn’t care less about what goes down on earth. At least Lucifer can be bothered to visit and throw some cash around to his favorites. How depressing is that.

That being said, of course I’m going to pick up the next volume. This is a revenge story primarily, but it is also a love story. I feel like, somewhere in the cosmos, Stark is going to find his Alice and they’re going to get the time together that he was denied. Won’t he be pleasantly surprised…

Thanks for reading!

The Good House by Tananarive Due

The Good House is a horror story spanning generations of the Toussaint family and their home. The family has a history of healing and mysterious vodun practices, or maybe they’re just extremely lucky. Take, for example, a mud slide that destroyed every home in their part of town, except theirs.

“The mud’s recent wrath had left their two-story house untouched, but sprays of buckshot fired at the house during cowardly moments, usually at night, had pocked and splintered the old door. The mere sight of the damaged door had always made her angry, and Marie Toussaint no longer trusted herself when she was angry.” pg 10, ebook.

Sacajawea, the town where the Toussaints live, is small. Everyone knows each other and have long memories.

“Aside from the handful of vacationers who frequented the town’s two popular B&Bs, most people in Sacajawea had lived here for generations, earning hourly wages in the mills in Longview or taking down trees in the woods. And even if Sacajawea had been a more sometimey place, the rules would have been different for Angela, or anyone else who was kin to Marie Toussaint.” pgs 25-26, ebook.

Why is the Toussaint home called “the Good House”?

“…this house was built in 1907 by the town pharmacist, Elijah Goode. He chose this place because he said the land felt ‘blessed beyond all description,’ or in any case that’s what he wrote to his brother in Boston.” pg 30

After a tragic Fourth of July party, Angela Toussaint, the granddaughter of Marie Toussaint, thinks her family home may be mislabeled.

What I enjoyed most about The Good House is the author Tananarive Due wrote an epic horror story around a family with characters I cared about. This wasn’t just a thrill-a-minute short story. Getting to know the residents of Sacajawea and the Toussaint family was a treat. Then, when things started to get scary, I was completely hooked.

This is a horror story for readers who enjoy a slow reveal and an extremely satisfying conclusion. Highly recommended.

Thanks for reading!

A Fatal Grace (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #2) by Louise Penny

Chief Inspector Armand Gamache solves more murders while surrounded by the sparkling personalities that compose the small town of Three Pines in Canada.

Nobody likes the victim of the murder, which makes the job harder for Gamache. As a reader, I was cheering for Gamache to solve the crime, but not because of the unlikeable CC de Poiters. She was as different a character from the victim of the first book, Jane, as you could possibly be.

I wonder if Louise Penny’s editors said, ‘Give us another cozy murder, but different.’ Well, she delivered.

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“Anything CC didn’t like didn’t exist. That included her husband and daughter. It included any unpleasantness, any criticism, any harsh words not her own, any emotions. CC lived, Saul knew, in her own world, where she was perfect, where she could hide her feelings and hide her failings. He wondered how long before that world would explode.” pg 11, ebook

Meanwhile, a storm is brewing at Gamache’s headquarters because of fall out from the mysterious Arnot case (which the reader first read about in the last book and finally gets to learn about in this one).

“Only fools underestimated (Gamache), but Brault knew the service was full of fools. Fools with power, fools with guns. The Arnot case had proved that beyond a doubt. And had almost destroyed the large, thoughtful man in front of him.” pg 57, ebook

We are also treated to more background on some of my favorite characters from the last book, Clara and Myrna, plus poetry from the irascible Ruth.

Well, all children are sad
but some get over it.
Count your blessings. Better than that,
buy a hat. Buy a coat or pet.
Take up dancing to forget. pg 39, ebook.

I like that Penny is developing these characters. They’re not just stuck in a time or place, unmoving and stiff. For example, Clara and Peter, her husband, are still fighting, but about different subjects now than from the last book. How very realistic for a married couple.

“When my death us do part
Then shall forgiven and forgiving meet again,
Or will it be, as always was, too late?” pg 61, ebook.

And it’s simply a treat to follow Gamache around and listen to his inner voice. He’s sensitive and kind, smart and intuitive. He also likes good food and drink. It makes him so relatable. He’s one of those characters that I’d like to meet for a drink sometime, if he were real. Or I’d want him in my book club.

“Gamache’s job was to collect the evidence, but also to collect the emotions. And the only way he knew to do that was to get the know the people. To watch and listen. To pay attention. And the best way to do that was in a deceptively casual manner in a deceptively casual setting. Like the bistro.” pg 142, ebook.

The only part of this book that I found a bit off-key was a moment between Gamache and one of the town’s oldest residents, Em. They talk about moments from their past when something inexplicable caused them to behave in a certain way. That conversation comes back to haunt Gamache later in the book, and it almost has an air of magical realism to it.

There’s nothing wrong with magical realism, but I felt like Three Pines and its residents had enough every day magic without resorting to the truly far out there. I’d be curious as to what other readers thought of that moment — I won’t say any more because I don’t want to spoil it. You’ll know what I’m talking about when you get there.

Highly recommended for readers with a hankering for cozy mysteries. Thanks for reading!

The Waking Land by Callie Bates

A fantasy novel about a young woman who was raised away from her home who is destined to become something greater than anyone ever imagined she could be.

There were shades of Irish mythology in this story with magic surrounding standing stones and a midnight ritual about “marrying the land”.

Overall, I just felt like I had read this book before in some form or another. It stuck to so many forms — heroine who doesn’t know her own strength, falls in love with a man who may help her or betray her, trusts everyone she shouldn’t and doesn’t trust everyone she should.

There were so few unexpected moments. Even the big stuff is heavily foreshadowed. Take this passage:

“I can do nothing. I am a botanist, not a sorcerer. Botanists have a place in this world — a respectable place. As the emperor of Paladis likes to remind us, sorcerers are worse than nothing — their impious actions are a mockery of the gods, and their historical conviction that they could rule kingdoms presented a threat to civilization itself, a danger that had to be exterminated.” pg 22

Ok, now guess what is going to happen in this book… you’re probably right. And that blurb is from the first chapter.

I’m on to the next book… and thanks for reading!

Still Life (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #1) by Louise Penny

Still Life is a satisfying start to a cozy mystery series. It has a diverse and quirky cast of characters and it kept me guessing as to what was coming next.

“Miss Jane Neal met her maker in the early morning mist of Thanksgiving Sunday. It was pretty much a surprise all around.”pg 6, ebook

The small town of Three Pines, Canada, is the kind of place where people don’t lock their doors. Or, it used to be that way.

Now, one of their kindest citizens is dead and a killer walks among them.

“Her name’s Jane Neal. Aged seventy-six. Never been married. We got this information from Mr. Hadley who says she was the same age as his mother who died a month ago.” pg 29, ebook

Chief Inspector Armand Gamache is one of the top of his field. He knows how to listen and he’s a keen observer — of people, of scenes, of everything. He’s a dazzling main character.

“Ruth Zardo, my job is to find out who killed your friend. And I will do that. I will do it in the manner I see fit. I will not be bullied and I will not be treated with disrespect. pg 41

As for the townsfolk, you’ll enjoy meeting each and every one. We have the owners of the local restaurant and bed & breakfast, local artists, real estate sales people, a book shop owner, an award winning poet and more. The dialogue between all of them is a delight to read. You may find yourself laughing out loud… I did.

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Also, I’d recommend starting the last chapters of this book either during the day or early in the evening. I thought I’d just read a few pages before bed and found myself finishing the book two hours later. (And far past my bedtime.)

Highly recommended for readers who love mysteries. This is a gem.

For readers interested in page to screen adaptions, this book has been made into a film. It is also slated to become a series for Amazon.

Thanks for reading!

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue is an enjoyable coming-of-age tale about a young gentleman who loves his best friend and how the two of them, with his annoyingly competent sister, manage to have an extraordinary adventure on their Grand Tour.

Henry “Monty” Montague is easy to love and flashes his dimples at men and women, indiscriminately. He is also fond of heavy drinking and gambling, neither of which makes his father proud of him.

We must have drunk an extraordinary amount last night if it’s hanging this heavily over me. And here I was starting to feel rather smug about my ability to get foxed out of my mind most nights and then be a functioning human by the next afternoon, provided that the afternoon in question is a late one. pg 13, ebook.

But, secretly, Monty has loved Percy Newton, his closest friend, for years. That’s troublesome because Monty’s father expects him to knuckle down, get married (to a woman) and run the estate after his Grand Tour. Plus, Monty’s not at all certain that Percy reciprocates the feeling.

“When you and I next see each other,” he continues, “I expect you to be sober and stable and… discreet, at the very least.” pg 26, ebook.

It all leads to some of the cutest relationship moments I’ve ever read in a young adult book. I kept saying “awwwww” as I read, which was rather out of character for me to the point where my husband became amused and was teasing me about it. But seriously. I bet if you read it, you’ll have the same reaction.

Please do keep in mind that this is a young adult historical fiction, meant for that audience. I get that the plot is ridiculous and meandering, but I loved it anyway. I think the character of Monty, the narrator, is what made this book so appealing. He’s a hot mess, who knows he’s a hot mess, and I was cheering for him to get his act together the whole book.

“Aren’t you tired of this— aren’t you tired of being this person? You look like a drunken ass all the time, all the bloody time, and it’s getting…” “It’s getting what, Percy?” He’s not going to say it, so I offer the word up for him. “Embarrassing? Are you embarrassed of me?” pg 87, ebook.

He’s funny, borderline alcoholic and hopeless at sharing his feelings. Plus, he has some great internal monologue.

I understand less than half the words in that sentence, but God bless the book people for their boundless knowledge absorbed from having words instead of friends. pg 219, ebook.

That’s right, God bless the book people. And may we all have the courage to tell the people we love that we love them. No matter their gender or our abysmal timing or our level of inebriation.

Recommended for young adult readers and fans of meandering historical fiction.

If you’re looking for more young adult fiction with LGBTQ characters or themes, you may want to pick up Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children #1) by Seanan McGuire

Thanks for reading!

A Gathering of Shadows (Shades of Magic, #2) by V.E. Schwab

The characters from A Darker Shade of Magic are back and up to their usual tricks. Rhy worries about Kell, Kell worries about Rhy and Lila, Lila worries about where she’s going to get her next knife. We also get to meet someone new, a dashing privateer named Alucard Emery.

Walking away had been easy. Not looking back was harder. pg 30, ebook.

The second entry in the series is usually when you get to know the characters better. What are their motivations, loves, hates? We get a bit of that in A Gathering of Shadows but, mainly, the author uses this book to introduce what has become the young adult trope of “dangerous contest” to get the characters together. Think Hunger Games or Maze Runner or the Tri-Wizard Cup but without as much excitement.

Kell is suffering after what he went through in the first book. “Once he would have hesitated — once he had hesitated — but not this time. With a flick of his hand, metal spikes slid from the sheath at his wrist and into his palm. They rose into the air and shot forward, burying themselves in the specter’s throat, his heart, his head. But there were still more shadows. Always more.” pg 43, ebook.

Rhy is suffering too: “Who drinks this?” Kell coughed. “People who want to get drunk,” said Rhy, taking a long, pained sip.” pg 58, ebook.

The pace of the story is quite slow. What goes on in Red London isn’t nearly as interesting as what goes on in other places (no spoilers). But there were so few chapters about the other Londons.

“Saints,” cursed Rhy, “do all the Londons get this cold?” “As cold,” said Kell as he followed the prince away from the bright beating heart of the city, and down a series of narrower roads. “And colder still.”

I am still enthralled with the idea of different worlds and only a few characters having the ability to walk between those worlds. I like how magic functions here. I like how Schwab gives everybody a back story. But, as in the first book, I feel like I’m probably not the target audience for this tale.

That’s not going to keep me from reading the last one though. 🙂 Recommended for young adults who adore fantasy reads.

Here’s my review of the first book: A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab

Thanks for reading!

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: book review

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Devil’s Day by Andrew Michael Hurley

Kill the Dead (Sandman Slim, #2) by Richard Kadrey

The Good House by Tananarive Due

A Fatal Grace (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #2) by Louise Penny

The Waking Land by Callie Bates

Still Life (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #1) by Louise Penny

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

A Gathering of Shadows (Shades of Magic, #2) by V.E. Schwab

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