Spare by Prince Harry

“I love my Mother Country, and I love my family, and I always will. I just wish, at the second-darkest moment of my life, they’d both been there for me. And I believe they’ll look back one day and wish they had too.” pg 386

I didn’t know what to expect from Spare, Prince Harry’s memoir. In the days after its release, it seemed like readers were quickly scanning the pages, looking for the most shocking details to smear in headlines.

What they left out in favor of the more salacious details, in my opinion, were the tender and intimate moments that really mattered.

What do I mean?

I mean the countless, quiet and unremarkable moments Harry shared with his friends and family.

The fact that Harry struggled with mental health and chose to seek out treatments again and again in an effort to find healing and peace.

He paints the picture of not an out-of-touch prince, but as a flawed yet hopeful person trying to find his place in the world.

Harry’s grief for his mother and love for his family form the large part of his narrative. Almost the entire book is a beautiful dedication to them.

I liked how Harry took widely reported events and shared his own feelings about what happened – from an unfortunate costume choice to the rumors swirling around about his out-of-control behavior.

He takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t seek to lay blame at the feet of others. Which, let’s be honest, he could have.

Some kinds of fame provide extra freedom, maybe, I suppose, but royal fame was fancy captivity. pg 199

Harry could have focused on the bubble he was raised in and put every decision he ever made into the hands of others. But, in this book, he doesn’t.

I came away from reading Spare with a new found respect for Prince Harry. I hope that his new life, away from the flashing lights, is everything that he hopes and dreams it will be.

Highly recommended for readers who enjoy memoirs. Thanks for reading!

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford

“Fate did not hand Genghis Khan his destiny; he made it for himself.” pg 9, ebook

Author Jack Weatherford follows the Mongol empire from Genghis Khan to his grandson, Khubilai, and on to the distant descendants and faded glory of a once-great kingdom.

The early years of Genghis Khan’s life were the most interesting part of this book. However, this history relies on a single text, The Secret History of the Mongols, which was written in code, filled with exaggerations and inflated numbers (perhaps as propaganda) and still has not been thoroughly interpreted.

Photo by Mathias P.R. Reding on Pexels.com

So, Genghis Khan, the historical personage, remains a shadowy figure. On the other hand, Weatherford opines that Genghis Khan’s empire had long lasting effects even to the present day.

“Seemingly every aspect of European life- technology, warfare, clothing, commerce, food, art, literature, and music- changed during the Renaissance as a result of the Mongol influence.” pg 14

Because the Mongols subjugated so many people, they controlled huge areas of the world and facilitated trade among different kingdoms. Weatherford writes that the Mongols didn’t press their culture upon the peoples they conquered (like the Romans) but adopted and adapted pragmatic customs and manners of civilization from everybody they ran into.

This diversity made the empire strong. For a little while.

But as the years passed, Genghis Khan’s descendants began to suffocate under the weight of this sprawling empire. They squabbled among themselves and spent lavishly on entertainment and comfort.

Their social policies weren’t as open as their patriarch’s. Notably, some of the rulers began to torture and abase their enemies, something that was not practiced during Genghis Khan’s time according to Weatherford.

Plague further divided the empire as the world’s populations decreased and trade faltered. The empire’s ending wasn’t a clear cut cessation, but more of a slow descent into darkness.

As a student of history, I was fascinated by the relatively recent disappearance of Genghis Khan’s Spirit Banner, a ceremonial spear with strands of horse hair braided atop it. It was a potent symbol of the Mongol’s strength and leadership.

“Somewhere in the 1960s, eight centuries after the birth of Genghis Khan, his sulde, the Spirit Banner that he had carried across Eurasia, disappeared from where the Communist authorities had kept it. … others hope that just perhaps the sulde lies forgotten in some dusty basement or bricked-up room from which it will, one day, be brought out to lead and inspire the Mongols once again.” pg 199, ebook

Rather like the Arc of the Covenant at the end of an Indiana Jones movie.

Genghis Khan arguably wasn’t the only conqueror whose empire shaped the modern world, but Weatherford has convinced me that he’s one of the big ones.

Recommended for readers who love history, particularly Mongol military history, as this book is heavy on that.

Thanks for reading!

Educated by Tara Westover

Educated is a gripping memoir by Tara Westover about her unconventional upbringing in remote Idaho, how she left that life, and discovered both physical and emotional freedom through a world class education.

“(My father) never told me what to do if I left the mountain, if I crossed oceans and continents and found myself in strange terrain, where I could no longer search the horizon… He never told me how I’d know when it was time to come home.”‘

This not a simplistic life story and Tara takes the time to look at what happened as truthfully and clearly as she can. This has led her to some difficult conclusions.

For example, Tara’s father embraced a survivalist lifestyle not only because of his religious convictions, but also because of a deep-seated paranoia. It wasn’t until Tara attended a college level psychology class that she realized her father’s particular way of thinking could be indicative of a mental disorder.

In addition to his erratic and paranoid behavior, the conservative nature of her father’s view on the roles for women has had a long-lasting impact on Tara. It led her to minimize physical abuse that took place in her childhood home as well as struggle to find her own place in the world. And, until a life-changing accident affects her father’s health permanently, Tara never saw her mother as an equal in her parents’ relationship, which, in turn, seriously affected how she viewed herself in relationship to the people around her.

All of the various events and family members Tara describes have far reaching consequences for her eventual life away from her family’s mountain home. Her journey from the past to the future was extraordinary and makes for a great read.

I had heard a lot of bookish chatter about Educated over the last two years and was skeptical about how good it might actually be. Those fears were ill founded- I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir, reading it in only a handful of days. I highly recommend it.

There are some trigger warnings for readers who have struggled with mental disorders or been victims of physical abuse. This book also contains some slightly graphic descriptions of life threatening injuries.

The Buddhist on Death Row by David Sheff

David Sheff examines the life and spiritual transformation of Jarvis Jay Masters, a man who has spent years on death row and in solitary confinement for a crime he says he didn’t commit.

“Even if Masters was innocent, I didn’t know what to think about the claims that he was, as his supporters described him, an enlightened Buddhist practitioner who had changed and saved lives.”

It is a powerful non-fiction account not only because Masters is honest and open about how he came to be where he is today, but because the spiritual lessons he has discovered throughout his experience are applicable for all of us. You don’t have to be sitting in a literal prison to feel like you’re locked in a cell and can’t get out.

The mind and heart can create suffering wherever in the world you are.

“Set in a place of unremitting violence, insanity, confusion, and rage, Masters’s story traverses the haunted caverns and tributaries of loneliness, despair, trauma, and other suffering- terrain we all know too well- and arrives at healing, meaning, and wisdom.”

I don’t think you need to be a practitioner of Buddhism to appreciate the wisdom in this book. Spiritual lessons like the knowledge that can be found in self awareness and how to obtain freedom from suffering can be helpful for all of us.

I enjoyed the book so much that I read it in only a few sittings.

The lama wrote that all people have been sentenced to death- in that way, Jarvis wasn’t unique. … “We all live in a prison, and we all hold the key,” Chagdud Tulku wrote.

Highly recommended for spiritual seekers of all types.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free digital copy of this book.

Slutever: Dispatches from a Sexually Autonomous Woman in a Post-Shame World by Karley Sciortino

“Without question, if I weren’t a slutty as I am, my life thus far would have been far less interesting. … But my sluttiness has also been the cause of many existential bathroom-mirror moments.” pg 8, ebook

Karley Sciortino, sex blogger and author, has led a self-described colorful life. It certainly comes through in this tell-all memoir.

Through her experiences, Sciortino has proudly embraced her sexuality and her place in society as a woman who knows what she wants in the bedroom, and takes it. This hasn’t been a simple path.

Part of her struggles are society’s views and programming about “slutty” women.

“It’s a no-brainer that we’re influenced by the people and stories that make up the culture around us. And it’s difficult to cite an example, either real or fictional, of a happy, healthy, promiscuous person – let alone a woman.” pg 8, ebook

The rest of her difficulties seem to stem from a lack of self knowledge or awareness. Sciortino isn’t afraid to tackle any and all issues head on in her own unique way.

“…my goal isn’t to be good or normal or accepted. My goal is to be free. (And maybe also to troll society a bit in the process, for good measure.)” pg 12, ebook

Photo by Nina Uhlu00edkovu00e1 on Pexels.com

It took me a couple chapters to get into this memoir. Sciortino’s writing style is frank to the point it sometimes feels abrasive, but it maintains an honest delivery throughout.

“My biggest revelation of the saga was that group sex is amazing for when you’re drunk, because you can just take a time-out whenever you’re bored or tired and someone else will literally take over for you. Genius.” pg 24, ebook

The early part of the book is fixated on sexual experiences and experimentation. As she delves deeper into her underlying motivations and psychology, Sciortino begins to get to the heart of matters. That’s when I felt this book became worth the read.

She had me asking myself some difficult questions: Why is sexuality such a complex issue? Why should people, in the privacy of their own homes and with proper consent, care what others think?

Why are there different standards for men and women?

And why is sexuality, which can play such a large part of the happiness in our lives, so difficult to talk about? (For some, not Sciortino, obviously.)

Recommended for mature readers who don’t mind a nearly stream-of-consciousness style of writing as well as a thick skin to push through Sciortino’s delivery to get to the meaning behind the words – because there is meaning to be found.

Thanks for reading!

To Me, He Was Just Dad: Stories of Growing Up with Famous Fathers by Joshua David Stein

To Me, He Was Just Dad is a collection of essays written by the grown children of famous or otherwise notable men. From scientists to musicians, actors to drug lords, the vocations of the featured fathers runs the gamut. There’s even one Catholic priest.

“How wide, we wondered, is the gap between what the public thinks of notable men and what the sons or daughters of those men experience? Do great men make for great fathers?” pg 6

The essays themselves are intimate portraits into the private lives of all of these people who, because of their success at whatever they chose to do, the world acts like we already “know.” The fascinating part of this book is how little we know them at all.

We venerate famous people. This book is a great reminder that, at the end of the day, they’re just people and put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us.

Though, admittedly, some are much more talented at cooking eggs, like Claudine Pepin’s dad, the famed chef, Jacques Pepin: “I feel like Papa taught half of America how to make an omelet. He taught me how to make an omelet, too, and also how to walk, ski, and drive (that one was a touch stressful). But one of the most important things he taught me was how to be part of a deep and enduring friendship.” pg 35

Fame is such a strange lens. Through it, some qualities are magnified while others are lost in the glare.

The same is true for infamy. The two who stuck out to me in that particular category were “My Father the Cult Leader, Saul B. Newton” and “My Father the Drug Lord, Pablo Escobar“.

Here’s Newton’s daughter, Esther: “My dad was an amazing, complicated, brilliant individual. It was important to me that he wasn’t remembered only as a nutjob with a cult.” pg 52

Escobar’s son remembers how his father, the drug lord, implored him not to do drugs. He also recalled living much of his early life on the run.

I think the small details add such dimension to these famous lives.

Take, for example, the fact that Evel Knievel, of daredevil fame, didn’t want any of his children to follow in his footsteps because he thought it was going to get them killed. It was fine for him to risk his life, but not ok for his beloved children.

Makes you view him just a little bit differently, doesn’t it? He seems like a multi-dimensional individual to me now and not just a fearless dude on a motorcycle.

Highly recommended for non-fiction readers. This book is a treat.

Thanks for reading!

Lust, Lies and Monarchy: The Secrets Behind Britain’s Royal Portraits by Stephen Millar

Stephen Millar examines British royal portraits and artwork created about royalty throughout history. In examining the small details and the context around the art, he shines the light on so many moments of forgotten history.

Through the strategic use of art, royals have controlled their images and used those images to maintain or increase their power. Take, for example, how the famous portrait of Henry VIII by Hans Holbein the Younger affected viewers:

“Strategically placed in the Palace of Whitehall and measuring three metres by four, the wall painting dominated the privy chamber where it was located. The effect on visitors was dramatic, one writing it was so ‘lifelike that the spectator felt abashed, annihilated in its presence.'” loc 444, ebook

Millar examines postures, costuming, setting and more so readers feel as if they have a new appreciation of these classic works of art. We’re also given an insider’s view and able to appreciate nuances that we might otherwise have missed.

“Why was Holbein’s depiction of Henry so influential? The stance taken by the king in the painting was radical, unashamedly masculine and defiant, with Henry staring directly at the viewer in a way that was highly unusual in royal portraiture in the early 16th century.” loc 457, ebook

My favorite of the art discussions is “The Rainbow Portrait” of Elizabeth I by Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger or Isaac Oliver. There is so much symbolism packed into one portrait. It’s fun to take it all apart.

Plus, Elizabeth I is one of my favorite historical figures. I go on about that in my review of Elizabeth I by Margaret George.

Millar helpfully includes the family tree of the royals every couple of chapters so its easy to keep track of who is who. And after the art, there’s a whole section of walking tours through London. At first, the two parts of the book seem unrelated, but when you go through the tours, you notice that he brought forward some of the history from the art and tied it to real world locations.

Talk about making history come alive.

Highly recommended for fans of history, especially forgotten history. Though some of the figures and events are well known, this book contained a few I had never heard of, which is always exciting to discover.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free copy of this ebook.

Fresh Off the Boat: A Memoir by Eddie Huang

Fresh Off the Boat is the life story of Eddie Huang.

After learning about his various exploits, some of which were extremely dangerous, I was amazed that he’s still around to recount them.

I picked up this memoir because I’ve seen almost every episode of the network family comedy, “Fresh Off the Boat,” and wanted to read the source material behind it.

As sweet as the show is, I think it does Huang a disservice.

I guess because it’s on network television, writers have essentially edited Huang’s life story. In the television show, the character of Eddie loves rap music, basketball and eating, (like he did in real life) but it leaves out the more real portions of Huang’s history.

His classmates called him racial slurs on an almost daily basis. He was subjected to physical abuse from his parents. He got mixed up in drugs and selling name brand shoes. He was arrested for fighting.

The reason why his grandmother is in a wheelchair, which is depicted on the show though the reason is never given, is because her feet were bound as a child.

All of that realness is completely missing from the television show. But it is so important to creating the man Huang is today.

The differences between the book and the tv series aside, Huang has a fascinating voice. He’s, at turns, funny and real. He explains his more obscure slang references at the end of each chapter in footnotes.

“I think my mom is manic, but Chinese people don’t believe in psychologists. We just drink more tea when things go bad.” pg 12, ebook

The window Huang opens into his culture is an enlightening one. He’s the first generation of his family to be born in the United States, but he doesn’t ever really embrace being American. He exists in a realm in between because he is never truly accepted by his European peers.

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

“Since kindergarten my parents had been sending me to Christian schools, where the teachers would feed me soap and made me use my right hand even though I’m a lefty, because we supposedly got a better education at parochial schools even if we weren’t actually Christians.” pg 26, ebook

In an effort to get along better with his teachers, Huang even acts as if he embraces Christianity when in reality he was just trying to survive. I felt sad that he had to pretend to be something other than who he was to make his way in the world.

“They’ll never let someone with a face like you on television.” To this day, I wake up at times, look in the mirror, and just stare, obsessed with the idea that the person I am in my head is something entirely different than what everyone else sees. pg 41

I highly recommend this memoir for readers who want to learn about another person’s life experience. Huang has penned an engrossing memoir about someone who took some unexpected turns on the way to his destiny — creating a wildly popular eatery in New York City. I enjoyed every story and learned so much.

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures by Sonia Purnell

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures is a sparkling biography about Mrs. Winston Churchill. The biographer credits Clementine with supporting and providing the confidence necessary to her famous husband so that he could live the extraordinary life of service that he did.

In the meantime, she also devoted herself to her country as well as raised a family. Her role in Churchill’s life has gone largely unnoticed, but it seems she is finally taking her place in history.

Not only did they weather repeated public and personal humiliation together, they overcame the bitterest of personal tragedies, and survived the all but intolerable strains of being at the center of two world wars. … The question is not simply what did she do for him, but also what could he have done without her? pg 9

I knew, in a general way about Winston Churchill’s life, but this biography about Clementine fills in many of the gaps in my knowledge. And actually, it was quite interesting reading. The personal life of the Churchills was filled with a surprising amount of drama and scandal.

In addition, they worked with and knew so many powerful people from the time period. I particularly liked the chapters about Clementine’s acquaintance with Eleanor Roosevelt.

The case can be made that no other premier’s wife, in a democratic country at least, has played such a pivotal role in her husband’s government — arguably greater during the Second World War than the greatest of American First Ladies, Clementine’s direct contemporary, Eleanor Roosevelt. pg 18

The pictures bring this incredible woman, and the trying times she lived in, to life. Many of the photos are un-posed and Clementine is looking off camera, smiling at other people. Even in photos, one gets the sense of how much of this woman’s life was lived in the public eye.

Though her contributions were perhaps unrecognized during her lifetime, Clementine was appreciated by her husband. Take this note he wrote to her on their fortieth wedding anniversary:

“I send this token, but how little can it express my gratitude to you for making my life & any work I have done possible.”

She is certainly a woman who deserves to be remembered.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. It is slated to be on sale in October 2019. Please note, the brief quotations I cited in this review may change or be omitted in the final print edition.

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Tag: biography

Spare by Prince Harry

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford

Educated by Tara Westover

The Buddhist on Death Row by David Sheff

Slutever: Dispatches from a Sexually Autonomous Woman in a Post-Shame World by Karley Sciortino

To Me, He Was Just Dad: Stories of Growing Up with Famous Fathers by Joshua David Stein

Lust, Lies and Monarchy: The Secrets Behind Britain’s Royal Portraits by Stephen Millar

Fresh Off the Boat: A Memoir by Eddie Huang

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures by Sonia Purnell

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