Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

“We shouldn’t regard rest as a mere physical necessity to be satisfied grudgingly; we should see it as an opportunity. When we stop and rest properly, we’re not paying a tax on creativity. We’re investing in it.” pg 11

I think we’re living in a culture that generally glorifies busyness and a frantic pace of achievement. That’s not news.

Alex Soojung-Kim Pang takes a deep dive into the science of rest and shares the insight that taking breaks isn’t something we should squeeze into our schedule. Rest, he argues, is as important as the work itself.

Four of his major points are: “work and rest are partners”, “rest is active”, “rest is a skill”, and “deliberate rest stimulates and sustains creativity”.

I was particularly interested in the creativity-related point of Pang’s hypothesis.

“You need time for rest because that’s when the unconscious mind can get to work. You can’t command inspiration to appear, but you can nudge it, most notably by working steadily and regularly. The romantic image of the artist who does nothing until he’s inspired and then produces in a furious burst of work is misleading.” pg 91

Pang looked into the lives and routines of creative thinkers throughout history and came to the perhaps surprising conclusion that four concentrated hours of work per day is sufficient.

“The pattern of working four hard hours with occasional breaks isn’t just confined to scientists, writers, or other people who are already successful, well-established, and have the freedom to set their own schedules. You can also see it among students who go on to become leaders in their fields.” pg 67

The rest of the day that geniuses such as Charles Darwin or Ernest Hemingway lived were filled with activities like long walks, day dreaming, active rest, sport and other seemingly unrelated moments that fueled the subconscious mind.

“The right kinds of rest would restore their energy while allowing their muse, that mysterious part of their minds that helps drive the creative process, to keep going.”

What these activities may be vary from person to person, but Pang’s research proves time and again that the rest portion of the day is critical.

One of my favorite parts of this book dealt with Malcolm Gladwell’s popular 10,000 hours for mastery idea that he discusses in his book, Outliers. Yes, Pang argues, 10,000 hours are necessary for exceptional performance. But we’re ignoring the rest of the equation.

“It comes after 10,000 hours of deliberate practice, 12,500 hours of deliberate rest, and 30,000 hours of sleep.” pg 74

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

From morning routines and sabbaticals to naps and carving out time for more sleep, Pang exhorts the reader to make rest a priority. It’s not lazy, it is one of the building blocks of a creative and productive life.

Sign me up. 🙂

Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson

This creatively titled self-help book, Everything is F*cked, presents psychology, philosophy and the author’s view of reality.

In a series of essays, Mark Manson discusses a variety of topics including the differences between the “thinking brain” and “feeling brain.” He uses Isaac Newton’s laws to create a parallel universe’s version of emotional laws and completes a fairly scathing dissection of religion.

Throughout the various topics, he circles back to the idea of hope and how it can potentially create more problems than it solves.

Why did Manson write a book about hope?

“This book is my little source of hope. It gives me purpose; it gives me meaning. And the narrative that I’ve constructed around hope is that I believe this book might help some people, that it might make both my life and the world a little bit better.” pg 15

I did not read Manson’s other incredibly popular title, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, so I went into this one not knowing what to expect. I found Manson to be particularly adept at breaking down complex topics into simple, easy-to-understand analogies.

For example, here’s his take on the psychological cause of a underlying feeling of unworthiness: “This feeling of unworthiness is usually the result of some bad sh*t happening to us at some point. We suffer through some terrible stuff, and our Feeling Brain decides that we deserved those bad experiences. Therefore, it sets out, despite the Thinking Brain’s better knowledge, to repeat and re-experience that suffering.” pg 46

And here’s the analogy he crafts around his explanation of unworthiness: “Put another way, the problem isn’t that we don’t know how not to get punched in the face. The problem is that, at some point, likely a long time ago, we got punched in the face, and instead of punching back, we decided we deserved it.” pg 46

His writing is simple and succinct, which could be incredibly useful for readers who are looking for more information about the self help topics presented. I didn’t particularly care for Manson’s overall style, but that’s a personal preference rather than a commentary on the value of what he’s discussing.

“The stories of our future define our hopes. And our ability to step into those narratives and live them, to make them reality, is what gives our lives meaning.” pg 70

I think this author may be similar to Sarah Knight and her series of self help books about The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k. Readers either love or hate those, I fell somewhere in between.

My favorite part of this was when Manson dived into some Buddhist philosophy in the chapter, “Pain is the Universal Constant.” He discusses the teaching of suffering being similar to a person struck by arrows. The first arrow brings physical pain and the second brings the emotional pain, which can be far worse and last longer than the physical pain because of the narratives we weave around it.

Through meditation, the second arrow, emotional pain, can be diminished or perhaps eliminated.

“That while pain is inevitable, suffering is always a choice. That there is always a separation between what we experience and how we interpret that experience. That there’s always a gap between what our Feeling Brain feels and what our Thinking Brain thinks. And in that gap, you can find the power to bear anything.” pg 186

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

Recommended for readers who aren’t offended by strong language and have the ability to hold the book they’re reading in that gap in their minds — between the thoughts and the emotions, in the space of pure being.

I’ll meet you there. 🙂

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures by Sonia Purnell

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures is a sparkling biography about Mrs. Winston Churchill. The biographer credits Clementine with supporting and providing the confidence necessary to her famous husband so that he could live the extraordinary life of service that he did.

In the meantime, she also devoted herself to her country as well as raised a family. Her role in Churchill’s life has gone largely unnoticed, but it seems she is finally taking her place in history.

Not only did they weather repeated public and personal humiliation together, they overcame the bitterest of personal tragedies, and survived the all but intolerable strains of being at the center of two world wars. … The question is not simply what did she do for him, but also what could he have done without her? pg 9

I knew, in a general way about Winston Churchill’s life, but this biography about Clementine fills in many of the gaps in my knowledge. And actually, it was quite interesting reading. The personal life of the Churchills was filled with a surprising amount of drama and scandal.

In addition, they worked with and knew so many powerful people from the time period. I particularly liked the chapters about Clementine’s acquaintance with Eleanor Roosevelt.

The case can be made that no other premier’s wife, in a democratic country at least, has played such a pivotal role in her husband’s government — arguably greater during the Second World War than the greatest of American First Ladies, Clementine’s direct contemporary, Eleanor Roosevelt. pg 18

The pictures bring this incredible woman, and the trying times she lived in, to life. Many of the photos are un-posed and Clementine is looking off camera, smiling at other people. Even in photos, one gets the sense of how much of this woman’s life was lived in the public eye.

Though her contributions were perhaps unrecognized during her lifetime, Clementine was appreciated by her husband. Take this note he wrote to her on their fortieth wedding anniversary:

“I send this token, but how little can it express my gratitude to you for making my life & any work I have done possible.”

She is certainly a woman who deserves to be remembered.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. It is slated to be on sale in October 2019. Please note, the brief quotations I cited in this review may change or be omitted in the final print edition.

Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence by Daniel J. Siegel

Daniel Siegel, MD, psychiatrist and author, shares his research into neuroscience and a meditation practice he has developed called the “Wheel of Awareness“.

“The Wheel practice is a way to open awareness and cultivate a larger, more expansive container of consciousness. People who participate in the practice seem to be strengthening their minds.” pg 9

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

The practice uses focused attention on the senses, bodily sensations, mental activities and interconnectedness, in order to encourage the mind to become more integrated. When this integration happens, the mind gives off certain brainwaves that Siegel and other researchers have measured coming from experienced meditation practitioners such as monks.

Basically, Siegel is using western science in an effort to measure and replicate meditation practices.

The science portions of Aware are not very accessible to the non-scientists readers and I could see that being off-putting. However, if you are interested in the intersection of neuroscience and meditation practice, this book could be incredibly useful to you.

“Where attention goes, neural firing flows, and neural connection grows.” pg 19

I found the implications of Siegel’s research to be fascinating. He claims, through focused attention, one can change the neural patterns and behavior of the brain. Meditation affects biology in a physically measurable way.

There have been countless studies on the positive benefits of meditation practice, but, I think, fewer on the changes in the function and integration of the mind. The rewards of such can be profound.

“When our minds wander unintentionally, we are not present, we are not receptively aware, we are not mindful, and studies suggest, we inhibit being happy — even if we are daydreaming about exciting things. … Presence cultivates happiness.” pg 49

Besides the Wheel of Awareness portion, the part of Aware I found most helpful was a discussion about the proper cultivation of empathy, the ability to put yourself in another’s place to feel and share what they are feeling.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Tania Singer, in a presentation to the Dalai Lama, had this advice: “… we need to place empathy in the larger space of altruistic love and compassion. This space will act like a buffer for empathic distress. Since altruism and compassion are positive mental states, they reinforce our courage and give us the resources to deal with the suffering of others in a constructive way.” pg 86

I liked the visual of that and think it will come in handy in the future.

Recommended for non-fiction readers interested in the science behind meditation and the development of presence. Spiritual seekers looking for different meditation methods may want to look for that in another, less technical, book.

Thanks for reading!

My Squirrel Days by Ellie Kemper

Ellie Kemper, the hilarious actress from the Netflix show “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” shares a few essays highlighting moments from her life. I laughed out loud a few times, both in amusement and embarrassment for Kemper. She’s not afraid to make fun of herself.

The best part of the memoir is, as I read it, I could hear each word being read in Kemper’s distinctive voice. She definitely has a style of expressing herself that stays true for the whole book.

“As a reasonably talented person who is also part fraud, I cannot praise highly enough the virtues of enthusiasm and tenacity as substitutes for finely honed skills or intensive training. And in this book, Reader, I will tell you about the numerous times that I have made up in pluck what I have lacked in natural ability.” pg 4

Unlike other readers, I didn’t fault this book for its mundane subject matter. I think, no matter our age or experience, people have valid things to say. Maybe it didn’t make for a gripping read, but I was able to relate to many of Kemper’s childhood experiences.

I too grew up near St. Louis, Missouri. I also went on an elementary school age field trip to Hannibal, Missouri, to learn about Mark Twain.

I also get scatter-brained when meeting authors I admire, like this moment between Kemper and Doris Kearns Goodwin:

“Doris Kearns Goodwin smiled brightly, and I leaned in, enthusiastically, to hug her. Unfortunately, she had begun to turn away by then, and — arms still outstretched — I lost my balance, stumbling forward and accidentally pushing the legendary biographer to the ground.” pg 24-25

My experience: It was near Thanksgiving in 2005. George R.R. Martin was coming to Denver to do a book signing at the Tattered Cover because he had recently published A Feast for Crows. (And I’m still super pissed that he didn’t finish writing his series before the television show ended, but that’s neither here nor there.)

But this was long before the television show. The only people showing up for a signed copy of Martin’s new book were the nerdy bookworms like me and my then-boyfriend now-husband, Lance, who I dragged along because I didn’t want to drive downtown by myself.

We arrived late and had to sit at the back. But that was cool, because I was there! We got to listen to him chat about his vision for the series and then a couple people from the audience asked him questions. Someone asked who his favorite character was, and he said, Tyrion, which hit me as a total surprise. But I guess if I had thought about it and the extraordinary luck Tyrion enjoys in a world where every other person gets slaughtered in ever more inventive and disgusting ways, I could have guessed.

Then, we all queued up to have our new book signed! Because of my position in the nook-area, I was the second-to-last in line. I was hopping up and down in excitement for almost an hour as everyone filed past the bespectacled and hat-sporting author. We finally got to the front, I handed my book to his assistant, who pushed it in front of him.

“Hi!” I exclaimed and then just stood there, grinning like Hodor and equally as eloquent. Martin turns to Lance and says, “What’s her name?”, which Lance gamely told him and then gave him the correct spelling. Meanwhile, I’m talking a blue-streak in my head.

“Say something,” I told myself. “Now’s your chance.” And nothing came out. “This man has provided you with hours of entertainment and you’ve got nothing!” My book was signed. He handed it to me. We were walking away from the table… and I frantically turned back and blurted out, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

George R.R. Martin smiled and said, “Happy Thanksgiving to you too.” And that was that.

Here’s to people like Ellie Kemper, who lose their minds when they meet rock-star authors, get stuck in Japanese temples, and amuse themselves perhaps more than they entertain others. It may not make for the most exciting book, but it’s real and that matters. Recommended for readers who are a fan of Kemper’s work and enjoy humorous memoirs.

Thanks for reading!

A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by B.J. Miller, Shoshana Berger

A Beginner’s Guide to the End is a definitive guide about death and how to handle it, both for yourself and your loved ones.

Topics range from planning your estate and dealing with life-ending illnesses all the way through to what to do in the first 24 hours after someone dies and how to liquidate an estate.

I could see this book being incredibly useful to anyone who has received a terminal diagnosis, their family or caregivers of all types.

I picked this book up because my father-in-law recently died and I was looking for information on how to help myself and others with grief.

“Grief is a force of nature. Though it can feel problematic as hell, bereavement is an essential piece of the human picture, whichever way it surfaces. pg 420

I learned all about that, but also a bunch of other helpful end-of-life details. For example, I knew nothing about the legalities of transporting and spreading cremated remains. Now, I know.

“A friend snuck down to the field of the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum at half-time and dumped some of his father’s dust at the fifteen-yard line. His pop, a doctor, had been a hard-core Raiders fan, and though his son knew he was doing something illegal, he felt a jolt of joy, knowing that part of his father would always be in that stadium.” pg 459

The text in this book is printed slightly larger than normal, which could be exactly what is needed for elderly readers.

Highly recommended for anyone who needs some guidance about death-related issues.

Thanks for reading.

How to Love (Mindfulness Essentials, #3) by Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh, monk and spiritual leader, has written a short series of books he calls “Mindfulness Essentials.” This entry is all about love. You might ask yourself, what could a monk possibly know about love? Turns out, plenty.

Hanh applies the mindfulness techniques he’s learned over his lifetime of spiritual practice to the potentially thorny pathways of love, and the result is a gem of a read.

Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

He counsels lovers to bring happiness to each other through being present in the moment and sharing your appreciation with each other. For example, if someone is distracted or worried, Hanh says you should draw their attention to the physical beauty of the world around them. In this way, you anchor the other in the present moment and ease the suffering of their busy mind.

This type of presence is a gift that you can give to anyone at anytime. And it doesn’t cost anything.

Hahn describes four defining traits of love as loving-kindness, joy, compassion, and equanimity. Then he examines these traits in detail so readers can ponder the mystery of love and see where, potentially, we may be falling short of these ideals.

He teaches all love begins with self love and walks hand-in-hand with spiritual practice. Through deep listening and the establishment of intimacy, Hahn believes love heals through empathy and “karuna,” a term that describes suffering with another and then doing what you can to end that suffering.

In addition, don’t take the other person for granted or make assumptions about what they may need. It is only through open communication that, Hahn believes, love lives.

He makes it sound so easy. I wish it was.

Recommended for readers looking to learn about the spiritual side of love in a quick and easy read. Hanh doesn’t waste words and I am always in awe of what teachings he has to impart.

Thanks for reading!

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc Brackett

“And when we can’t recognize, understand, or put into words what we feel, it’s impossible for us to do anything about it: to master our feelings — not to deny them but to accept them all, even embrace them — and learn to make our emotions work for us, not against us.” pg 2

Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In this book, Permission to Feel, he has given the world a new set of tools to learn more about ourselves through our emotions, to facilitate communication, and to teach the next generation how to do the same.

I really appreciated this book as I am someone who has trouble sharing emotions.

I am probably like this because, as Brackett explains, we learn our communication styles from our parents. My mother had a lot of kids and, though I know she cares, never had much time for one-on-one interaction.

My father is so introverted he barely speaks to his family. I have spent entire car rides with my dad while sitting in absolute silence, which sounds like it could be desperately uncomfortable, but with him it’s not. That’s just the way he is.

And what I have become. It can take time to coax anything like an intimate conversation out of me and few have ever bothered to try.

But I want to be better at sharing what’s going on in my inner world. This book has shown me a way I can move towards making that happen.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

“Feelings are a form of information. They’re like news reports from inside our psyches, sending messages about what’s going on inside the unique person that is each of us in response to whatever internal or external events we’re experiencing. We need to access that information and then figure out what it’s telling us.”

Brackett first outlines why emotions are important as they affect everything from “where we direction our attention” to decision making, relationships, creativity and our physical health.

He then explains how to become “emotion scientists,” which he says are more desirable than “emotion judges.” The scientist listens and seeks clues to tease out what is going on in order to help. The judge does the same, but then, rather than helping, he strangles any potential improvement by putting the smack down on what they discover.

“We all want our lives, and the lives of the people we love, to be free of hardship and troubling events. We can never make that happen. We all want our lives to be filled with healthy relationships, compassion, and a sense of purpose. That we can make happen.” pg 21

Then, he gives the tool kit he has spent years honing in workshops and studies, and shares how to apply it in various areas of your life.

I could see this book being useful to parents, educators, leaders or people like me. I knew I had room for improvement in accessing my emotions, but no idea how to go about it. Now, I know.

Thank you to the publisher for a free advance reader copy of this book. The short quotations I cited in my review may change or be omitted in the final print copy. Permission to Feel should be published in early September 2019.

Thanks for reading!

Just Nuisance A.B.: His Full Story by Terence Sisson

This is a biography about a very special dog, Just Nuisance, the only dog in history to be enlisted in the Royal Navy.

He was a great dane who befriended the sailors around the port of Simon’s Town, South Africa, in the days before the outbreak of the Second World War. The sailors fed the enormous dog and even gave him portions of their lager. In turn, he guided drunken sailors home and protected them from any ruffians on the street.

Just Nuisance received his name because he loved to fall asleep on the gangplanks leading to the decks and so the sailors would have to choose another way to board the ship, because they couldn’t move the enormous animal. So, they called him, “Nuisance,” as well as a variety of other colorful adjectives.

He was enlisted in the navy because Just Nuisance was causing an issue on the train. He liked the ride the train to and fro with the sailors, but the officials running the line said the great dane was taking up a space that could be filled by paying passengers. They threatened to put Just Nuisance down if the sailors couldn’t keep him off the train.

However, sailors in the Royal Navy were allowed to ride the train for free. So, they came up with a creative solution to their problem. Just Nuisance would join their ranks and be issued a pass. Then he too could ride the train for free.

And so he was.

“The first problem arose when it came to filling in the heading listed as Christian Name. … “No dog has a Christian name, what the hell should I put here?” … “Well I can’t see any other way out than to leave it blank and give the name as just Nuisance.” The petty officer looked at the lieutenant with a broad smile on his face: “That’s it, sir, his Christian name, write ‘Just’ in that column.”pg 26

This is a very sweet book. It is composed of the reminiscences of sailors who served with the great dane and shares how he affected each of their lives. He had a prodigious appetite, multiple “wives,” and took his service in the navy seriously, showing up at fundraisers and participating in parades.

But his broader legacy, how he raised the spirits of the men of the Royal Navy prior to one of humankind’s darkest sagas, deserves to be remembered.

I recommend this biography for readers who like small, forgotten moments of history and enjoy reading about the extraordinary way our canine companions can make our lives so much better.

Thanks for reading!

Here’s The History Guy’s video about Just Nuisance (I didn’t write the script for this one, Lance did.):

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Category: Non-Fiction

Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson

Clementine Churchill: A Life in Pictures by Sonia Purnell

Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence by Daniel J. Siegel

My Squirrel Days by Ellie Kemper

A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by B.J. Miller, Shoshana Berger

How to Love (Mindfulness Essentials, #3) by Thich Nhat Hanh

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc Brackett

Just Nuisance A.B.: His Full Story by Terence Sisson

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