The Princess Bride by William Goldman

** spoiler alert ** Please be aware: major spoilers ahead if you have not read the book or watched the film. Consider yourself warned.

A new classic tale about a woman named Buttercup, the man she loves named Westley, a giant who loves to rhyme named Fezzik and Inigo, a Spanish swordsman out for revenge.

Of course, like many, I’ve seen the film The Princess Bride about a bajillion times, but I’d never read the book. It was time to rectify that error. Because the book is always better than the movie, right?

“I love you,” Buttercup said. “I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I’ve ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more.” pg 59, ebook.

But not this time, friends. I know, I was shocked too.

That’s not to say the book isn’t charming, because it is. There’s all of the characters you love and they deliver the classic lines from the film, plus you get the backstory and additional humorous injections from William Goldman. Goldman created a story within a story — he acts as if he’s simply editing a book by S. Morgenstern and has created an entire history around this idea.

He’s so convincing, in fact, that I immediately googled Goldman to make sure I hadn’t missed something.

My favorite part of the book was exploring Prince Humperdinck’s “Zoo of Death”, which we only get to see in passing in the movie.

“The fifth level was empty. The Prince constructed it in the hopes of someday finding something worthy, something as dangerous and fierce and powerful as he was. Unlikely. Still, he was an eternal optimist, so he kept the great cage of the fifth level always in readiness.” pg 68, ebook.

Honestly, some of the scenes in the book go on a bit too long. The part where Westley challenges Prince Humperdinck “to the pain” instead of “to the death” comes off as creepy in the book, whereas, I felt, in the film it was kind of awesome. I’m not entirely certain what the difference is, except his speech is more to the point in the film.

“It means that I leave you to live in anguish, in humiliation, in freakish misery until you can stand it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this now, and live or die, it’s up to you: Drop your sword!” pg 225

Those are all just quibbles compared to the ending, which was the most shocking point of all.

Ok, as we all know, in the movie, it ends with a kiss and they all live happily ever after.

In the book, not so! Here are the last lines in the “official story” not counting a few more comments by Goldman:

However, this was before Inigo’s wound reopened, and Westley relapsed again, and Fezzik took the wrong turn, and Buttercup’s horse threw a shoe. And the night behind them was filled with the crescendoing sound of pursuit… pg 228, ebook.

That’s it. I nearly fell out of my chair when I read it. Here’s what our author said about it a few paragraphs later:

“I’m not trying to make this a downer, understand. I mean, I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”

It’s such an unsatisfying ending. I can see why they changed the film because I don’t think audiences would have stood for it, which probably says more about film-going audiences than readers, but still. Don’t readers deserve a happy ending too?

Thanks for reading!

Devil’s Day by Andrew Michael Hurley

A slow-moving horror story that asks the reader to consider what may be the truth behind ancient customs and myths, and what secrets a small, isolated community may be hiding from the rest of the world.

“One late October day, just over a century ago, the farmers of the Endlands went to gather their sheep from the moors as they did every autumn. Only this year, while the shepherds were pulling a pair of wayward lambs from a peat bog, the Devil killed one of the ewes and tore off her fleece to hide himself among the flock.” pg 1

The small gathering of farms, Underclough, is as much a character in this story as the actual characters.

“When the first buildings appeared, I could tell that Kat was disappointed. I think she’d expected to find Underclough nestled in the valley, not dark and cramped like something buried at the bottom of a bag.” pg 24

There’s a sense of inevitability about the whole thing. You’re not just born in this place. You live, work and die here, on the edge of the wilderness and the known world.

“Living on the farms was one endless round of maintenance. Nothing was ever finished. Nothing was ever settled. Nothing. Everyone here died in the midst of repairing something. Chores and damage were inherited.” pg 38

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John Pentecost knows from his childhood that there are forces in nature that cannot be explained. There are whispers in the woods and shadows beneath the trees that move with their own power. There’s a reason why the farmers have a “Devil’s Day” each year, to put the spirit to sleep while they gather their flocks in peace.

“As the Devil watched me, the same question ran through my mind as incessantly as the river. Did I like stories? Did I like stories? I answered yes.” pg 146

Andrew Michael Hurley uses the environment and setting to slowly create a feeling of dread, but then I felt like he never delivered on the story that he so painstakingly sets up. The pace is glacially slow.

That being said, there are one or two scenes from Devil’s Day that haunted me when I read them. I just happened to be reading this the night a record-breaking windstorm blew through town. I heard eerie shrieks and groans coming from outside my windows throughout the evening.

I couldn’t help but wonder what I would say if the Devil asked me if I like stories…

Thanks for reading!

Kill the Dead (Sandman Slim, #2) by Richard Kadrey

“Subtle hunting, acting like a grownup, I really miss Hell sometimes.” pg 4

First of all, don’t read the Goodreads description of Kill the Dead before you read it. It gives far too much away!

Here’s a Heidi-no-spoilers blurb that should serve you just as well: James Stark, the half-angel, half-human and one hundred percent pissed off anti-hero is back. Keeping an apartment in Los Angeles doesn’t pay for itself, so Stark is on the hook for contract work for a variety of agencies including Vigil (a super secret department of Homeland Security) and Lucifer, yes that Lucifer.

Because of a small saving-the-world situation in the last book, Stark has become an underground local celebrity, which has its ups and downs. Part of the perks includes a upsurge in customers at the Bamboo House of Dolls, Stark’s favorite local dive.

“It’s good to have one thing that hasn’t changed much. We need a few anchors in our lives to keep us from floating away into the void. Like Mr. Muninn said the one time he came in. “Quid salvum est si Roma perit?” What is safe if Rome perishes?” pg 28

Trouble brews when people start to go missing in Los Angeles’ underground and some of the members of its leading magical families turn up dead. Looks like Stark is going to have to save the day again and he’s not happy about it.

“I didn’t save anyone. I just killed the bastards who needed killing. Get it? I don’t save good people. I murder bad ones.” pg 39

Why can’t the world just save itself? Hasn’t Stark suffered enough? But what’s a nephilim to do if not save the world while holding tightly to his fracturing sanity with both hands.

“You came back to get the people who hurt you and Alice and you did it. Great. Now you need to find the next thing to do with your life.” “Like learn the flute or maybe save the whales?” pg 57

Suffice to say, Stark finds a few new motivational factors in this book and we are treated to some fairly serious zombie action.

I enjoyed the second entry in the Sandman Slim series, but less than the first book. To start, I felt it was less focused. There’s a heck of a lot going on in Stark’s life and he doesn’t stop to ponder things. He’s always on the go. It makes for a book that you can’t put down, because if you do, you’ll forget who is doing what.

We see less of some of my favorite side characters, which was another bummer. Stark is so intense. He needs more comic relief than just his literal talking head roomie who is perpetually drunk and watching garbage on his computer.

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“I know whose side I’m on. Mine.” pg 236

And there’s the darkness factor. Again, this is urban fantasy with a heavy dose of pessimism. No one is coming to save our intrepid hero. There may be angels in heaven but they couldn’t care less about what goes down on earth. At least Lucifer can be bothered to visit and throw some cash around to his favorites. How depressing is that.

That being said, of course I’m going to pick up the next volume. This is a revenge story primarily, but it is also a love story. I feel like, somewhere in the cosmos, Stark is going to find his Alice and they’re going to get the time together that he was denied. Won’t he be pleasantly surprised…

Thanks for reading!

The Good House by Tananarive Due

The Good House is a horror story spanning generations of the Toussaint family and their home. The family has a history of healing and mysterious vodun practices, or maybe they’re just extremely lucky. Take, for example, a mud slide that destroyed every home in their part of town, except theirs.

“The mud’s recent wrath had left their two-story house untouched, but sprays of buckshot fired at the house during cowardly moments, usually at night, had pocked and splintered the old door. The mere sight of the damaged door had always made her angry, and Marie Toussaint no longer trusted herself when she was angry.” pg 10, ebook.

Sacajawea, the town where the Toussaints live, is small. Everyone knows each other and have long memories.

“Aside from the handful of vacationers who frequented the town’s two popular B&Bs, most people in Sacajawea had lived here for generations, earning hourly wages in the mills in Longview or taking down trees in the woods. And even if Sacajawea had been a more sometimey place, the rules would have been different for Angela, or anyone else who was kin to Marie Toussaint.” pgs 25-26, ebook.

Why is the Toussaint home called “the Good House”?

“…this house was built in 1907 by the town pharmacist, Elijah Goode. He chose this place because he said the land felt ‘blessed beyond all description,’ or in any case that’s what he wrote to his brother in Boston.” pg 30

After a tragic Fourth of July party, Angela Toussaint, the granddaughter of Marie Toussaint, thinks her family home may be mislabeled.

What I enjoyed most about The Good House is the author Tananarive Due wrote an epic horror story around a family with characters I cared about. This wasn’t just a thrill-a-minute short story. Getting to know the residents of Sacajawea and the Toussaint family was a treat. Then, when things started to get scary, I was completely hooked.

This is a horror story for readers who enjoy a slow reveal and an extremely satisfying conclusion. Highly recommended.

Thanks for reading!

The Waking Land by Callie Bates

A fantasy novel about a young woman who was raised away from her home who is destined to become something greater than anyone ever imagined she could be.

There were shades of Irish mythology in this story with magic surrounding standing stones and a midnight ritual about “marrying the land”.

Overall, I just felt like I had read this book before in some form or another. It stuck to so many forms — heroine who doesn’t know her own strength, falls in love with a man who may help her or betray her, trusts everyone she shouldn’t and doesn’t trust everyone she should.

There were so few unexpected moments. Even the big stuff is heavily foreshadowed. Take this passage:

“I can do nothing. I am a botanist, not a sorcerer. Botanists have a place in this world — a respectable place. As the emperor of Paladis likes to remind us, sorcerers are worse than nothing — their impious actions are a mockery of the gods, and their historical conviction that they could rule kingdoms presented a threat to civilization itself, a danger that had to be exterminated.” pg 22

Ok, now guess what is going to happen in this book… you’re probably right. And that blurb is from the first chapter.

I’m on to the next book… and thanks for reading!

Sandman Slim (Sandman Slim, #1) by Richard Kadrey

Sandman Slim is a dark, urban fantasy read about a magician who was given to demons by people he considered his friends. Now, James Stark’s back for revenge.

Because, what does he have to lose. He’s already been to hell.

“.. I’m lucky that way. Always have been. Otherwise, I might have crawled back into this world and ended up a charcoal briquette in my first five minutes home. And wouldn’t those black-hearted bastards down under have laughed when I ended right back in Hell after slipping so sweetly out the back door? pgs 1-2

James is not just claiming revenge for himself. While he was with the demons, someone killed the love of his life. That someone is going to have to pay.

I’ve been gone eleven years. I was nineteen when I went Downtown. I’m practically an old man now. pgs 11-12

Meanwhile on earth, someone or something has been causing more chaos and destruction than usual. Los Angeles, though never particularly a “city of angels”, seems to be something much worse now. But why should James care — he’s not going to be around long enough to figure out what’s going on anyway.

I really enjoyed Sandman Slim. James Stark is brooding, angry and you can’t help but hope for him to succeed.

Revenge is never what you think it’s going to be. There’s no pleasure or glory, and when you’re done your grief remains. pg 54

The world Richard Kadrey has created has levels and different forms of spirituality and magic. Angels, demons and monsters walk the streets, in plain view but hidden from those who don’t know what they’re looking at.

There’s an alchemist named Vidocq who accidentally made himself immortal. A mysterious doctor who helps those in the magical community but doesn’t charge for his services. And readers are also introduced to Allegra, a beautiful young woman who runs a video shop and wants to learn more about magic.

“Where was God when I was stuck in Hell?” I ask her. …. “Maybe God thought you were where you belonged. pg 228

Recommended for readers who don’t mind their urban fantasy reads filled with some profanity and angry heroes.

Thanks for reading!

The God Hunter (Field Ops #1) by Tim Lees

An interesting science fiction novel about a company that captures gods and transforms their energy into a commodity.

“The official view is, all we’re dragging up are imprints. Worship at a certain site for long enough, you charge it up. The power gets compressed, like coal.” pg 11, ebook.

When something goes wrong, as one would expect it to, the results are pretty bad. Chris Copeland is called in to clean it up. But there may be no stopping what happens next…

This book was like the film Ghostbusters, except instead of containing the ghosts like in the movie, they’re transmuting them somehow. Well, and the film has ghosts instead of gods. But, you see the similarities.

It’s an interesting idea. Everyone is looking to develop new, clean and renewable energy. What if we could mine that from emotions or other planes of existence? Would such a thing be possible? And what would be the costs?

“I don’t believe in premonitions. You only see them looking back, once the mind’s had the chance to make up shapes and patterns, and give form to random data. And yet now, in retrospect, it seems those days were full of omens, all trying to tell me something, circling me like softly-whispered threats.” pg 28

Chris is an interesting character. He embodies the “over-worked into absolute nonchalance” type. Chris and his coworkers are literally capturing gods and he’s like “so what?”. I imagine you could get used to anything after awhile, but his attitude was amusing to me.

Especially when you put him next to professional detectives later in the book. They have the exact same attitude except about criminals rather than spirit energy. It makes for a fascinating juxtaposition.

“It’s manna,” Martin Klein announced, matter-of-fact. “The stuff that fed the Israelites.” “Wrong desert,” I said. “You’d have to be a thousand miles east for that.” “Well.” He shrugged. “It gets around.” pg 74

Like any business that can generate enormous profits or be controlled by the government, the god-into-energy racket has attracted some unsavory and cutthroat characters. But the stakes are higher than simple wealth or power. A misstep could mean the end of the world.

I wanted this book to be more mystical, with more conspiracies, and more romance. I enjoyed the premise and the questions the story raised about people being people, no matter their level of technology. I also liked the character of Anna Ganz, the strong female detective.

I did not like how the author Tim Lees gave us very little context. I also didn’t like how he didn’t develop the characters much beyond the main two.

Recommended for science fiction readers who like their stories thick with questions and a bit thin on the answers.

Thanks for reading!

SuperMutant Magic Academy by Jillian Tamaki

At the SuperMutant Magic Academy, strange things happen and everyone looks different, but teenage angst and questions about reality remain the same. There is unrequited love, hormones run amok and popularity problems. There is a young man who can’t seem to die, no matter how he tries to end his life. There’s an artist who puts herself into shocking situations to underline the pointlessness of reality.

There’s a young woman with the head of a lizard who just wants to find a boyfriend and a beautiful girl with ears like a fox who occasionally has to change into a fox and hunt prey. There’s drugs and alcohol and a host of other issues, while the poor teachers are simply trying to educate the group.

I didn’t connect well with this graphic novel and question its appropriateness for the younger end of the young adult scale. Older or more mature teens should be ok. There’s moments that make light of self harm without, what I think, is the appropriate context. There’s some sexual content that may be incredibly confusing and inappropriate for 11 and 12 year olds.

When I borrowed this from the library, I was under the impression that I could share this book with my child. After reading it, I realized I was wrong. That may have affected my opinions of SuperMutant Magic Academy. If I had just read it for enjoyment’s sake, maybe I would have thought more of its content.

Or maybe not. Jillian Tamaki gives herself, usually, just six panels to create a narrative and it isn’t enough. The jarring moments of reality left me with more questions than answers. I wanted more of a story and never really got that.

It made me think maybe I was missing out on something. If this is based off of a web comic, maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I had read it in its original medium.

Thanks for reading!

Skin Game (The Dresden Files, #15) by Jim Butcher

Harry Dresden, wizard-for-hire and Winter Knight, joins a group of unsavory characters to pay off a debt owed by Mab and to steal something incredibly valuable from a god. And he thought he had bad days before this. At least he still has a way with words.

“… Nicodemus is a murderous murdering murderer,” I said. “And if he’s picking a crew, they’re going to be just as bad.” pg 26, ebook

Is there anyone he can trust? Can he even trust himself with the strange “parasite”-thing growing in his head?

“Sometimes when you find yourself alone, for whatever reason, you review every little thing you know about someone, searching your memory for small, subtle things that you may have missed about them.”pg 10, ebook.

Any guesses on what they’re going to be stealing?

“My sources say he’s the collector of the supernatural world. He’s famous for it. Art, treasure, gems, jewels, antiques, you name.” pg 37, ebook.

Skin Game is a clever mix of heist and The Dresden Files. I thoroughly enjoyed it. And now my heart is broken because the next book isn’t written yet.

We were finally getting somewhere with Harry’s relationships with his friends and a certain someone in particular. (No spoilers!) Harry was learning how to juggle his “mantle of power”. Molly was coming into her own unique situation.

We’ve learned about angels, demons, fairies, pixies, gods and more in this series. I’ve really come to enjoy the world and the strange things that happen in it. I love the shifting balance of power and how when Harry’s up, he’s really up. And when he’s down… well…

“And since when had I become the guy that things happened to ten years ago?” pg 49, ebook.

I think all of the readers are wondering that too. Not that we’re complaining because this series seems to have such staying power. I really wish it would keep going for awhile longer, just spit-balling here, how about another 15 books? 🙂 Or, at least, perhaps we could tie up the loose ends.

“I know that things happen to people,” he said. “And maybe you’ve got excellent and real reasons for doing what you’ve done. But… at the end of the day, there’s just no replacement for being here.” pg 84, ebook.

I like being in this world and I think plenty of other readers do too. Jim Butcher, give the people what they want. Write, please. Write now!

Thanks for reading.

The Help Desk Book Blog

Sharing reviews and deep thoughts about life.

Category: Fantasy

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Devil’s Day by Andrew Michael Hurley

Kill the Dead (Sandman Slim, #2) by Richard Kadrey

The Good House by Tananarive Due

The Waking Land by Callie Bates

Sandman Slim (Sandman Slim, #1) by Richard Kadrey

The God Hunter (Field Ops #1) by Tim Lees

SuperMutant Magic Academy by Jillian Tamaki

Skin Game (The Dresden Files, #15) by Jim Butcher

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