Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson

This creatively titled self-help book, Everything is F*cked, presents psychology, philosophy and the author’s view of reality.

In a series of essays, Mark Manson discusses a variety of topics including the differences between the “thinking brain” and “feeling brain.” He uses Isaac Newton’s laws to create a parallel universe’s version of emotional laws and completes a fairly scathing dissection of religion.

Throughout the various topics, he circles back to the idea of hope and how it can potentially create more problems than it solves.

Why did Manson write a book about hope?

“This book is my little source of hope. It gives me purpose; it gives me meaning. And the narrative that I’ve constructed around hope is that I believe this book might help some people, that it might make both my life and the world a little bit better.” pg 15

I did not read Manson’s other incredibly popular title, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, so I went into this one not knowing what to expect. I found Manson to be particularly adept at breaking down complex topics into simple, easy-to-understand analogies.

For example, here’s his take on the psychological cause of a underlying feeling of unworthiness: “This feeling of unworthiness is usually the result of some bad sh*t happening to us at some point. We suffer through some terrible stuff, and our Feeling Brain decides that we deserved those bad experiences. Therefore, it sets out, despite the Thinking Brain’s better knowledge, to repeat and re-experience that suffering.” pg 46

And here’s the analogy he crafts around his explanation of unworthiness: “Put another way, the problem isn’t that we don’t know how not to get punched in the face. The problem is that, at some point, likely a long time ago, we got punched in the face, and instead of punching back, we decided we deserved it.” pg 46

His writing is simple and succinct, which could be incredibly useful for readers who are looking for more information about the self help topics presented. I didn’t particularly care for Manson’s overall style, but that’s a personal preference rather than a commentary on the value of what he’s discussing.

“The stories of our future define our hopes. And our ability to step into those narratives and live them, to make them reality, is what gives our lives meaning.” pg 70

I think this author may be similar to Sarah Knight and her series of self help books about The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k. Readers either love or hate those, I fell somewhere in between.

My favorite part of this was when Manson dived into some Buddhist philosophy in the chapter, “Pain is the Universal Constant.” He discusses the teaching of suffering being similar to a person struck by arrows. The first arrow brings physical pain and the second brings the emotional pain, which can be far worse and last longer than the physical pain because of the narratives we weave around it.

Through meditation, the second arrow, emotional pain, can be diminished or perhaps eliminated.

“That while pain is inevitable, suffering is always a choice. That there is always a separation between what we experience and how we interpret that experience. That there’s always a gap between what our Feeling Brain feels and what our Thinking Brain thinks. And in that gap, you can find the power to bear anything.” pg 186

Recommended for readers who aren’t offended by strong language and have the ability to hold the book they’re reading in that gap in their minds — between the thoughts and the emotions, in the space of pure being.

I’ll meet you there. 🙂

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