“Deciding to trust someone, more than almost any other decision we make, holds the keys to how resilient we, both as individuals and as a society, will be.” pg 241
Trust is one of the things that makes society work. We trust that our taxes will go towards making our society better. We trust we will be paid for the jobs we perform. We trust in contracts, news agencies and family members. Sometimes it seems this trust is misplaced. David DeSteno examines trust, what is it and how or why you decide to give someone all your trust or not.
I held as true many of the fallacies that DeSteno deconstructs in The Truth About Trust. That was disturbing, in a way, but I also enjoyed it because I learned new ways to approach trust issues and even to define what trust is. Although it may seem like a simple concept, I realized that I didn’t know the basic definition of trust. I knew what it felt like, but not the mechanics behind it.
Tell me: what do you think trust is?
“There are two facets to trust: integrity and competence. Some of the best partners or teachers you may ever have had may not be the warmest people in the world, but they knew their stuff.” pg 33
DeSteno reminds readers that beyond examining a new business or potential romantic partner to determine their trustworthiness, you need to remember your own perceptions color your reality.
If you want to be able to trust as you should, take a moment before negotiating with someone new to allow any feelings from a previous event to dissipate. pg 60
I liked that DeSteno waded into the potentially thorny world of cyberspace and who or what to give your trust to in the technological age. It seems that is going to be the future — programs, applications and machines.
…the basic issue of whether to trust technology has in fact been around for thousands of years. What makes it feel new now, however, is that technology is beginning to encroach on what had until recently been a solely human domain — sociality. pg 183
DeSteno gave me plenty to think about including why I sometimes place great trust where it has not necessarily been earned. Recommended for readers who want to ask themselves the same types of questions.
If you enjoyed The Truth About Trust, I’d suggest also picking up Terms of Service: Social Media and the Price of Constant Connection (DeSteno deals with trust in cyberspace and the two books complement each other nicely) or The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work (which discusses the issue of trusting yourself to do the things that will benefit you most in the future and why we don’t always do those things).
Thanks for reading!
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