Andie Mitchell used food to entertain and provide comfort for herself during a childhood with an artistic but alcoholic father and absent (because she was working three or four jobs) mother. This is her journey through the rocky early years and realization that if she didn’t lose the weight, she was going to suffering serious health problems for the rest of her life.
“What begins as hating the cake for all its multiple layers of luscious temptation spirals quickly into hating myself and all my fat cells. I let myself down. I lament not having more control. pg 15, ebook.
Andie’s overeating starts during her childhood. Her mother went to work on the weekends and her father drank all night and slept most of the morning, leaving Andie to her own devices, which were mainly sugared cereal and cartoons.
I’d pull the box down and go about fetching a bow, a soup spoon, and the whole-milk carton from the fridge. I’d fill the bowl- cereal bobbing in milk to the rim- and make my way to the parlor. There I’d turn on the television and begin what would be hours of watching my favorite cartoons. One cereal bowl would empty without my noticing, and I’d replace it.” pg 27-28, ebook.
So, the loneliness was one of the reasons why she ate. The other was her father was emotionally abusive. She witnessed terrible scenes of him screaming at her mother and brother (Anthony). Andie internalized it and ate away her feelings.
If (my mother) fought back, (my father) roared louder. Or he’d throw something she loved across the room. But those were not the times my chubby body trembled. Those weren’t the times when my spirit split like the walls of our house. No, it was only when Anthony entered the room, when I heard his small voice try desperately to make itself bigger and less boyish, that the pit of my stomach twisted so violently, I couldn’t tell if I was hungry or about to be sick.” pg 36, ebook.
Andie’s mother loves her unconditionally, even when the doctor tells Andie that she needs to lose weight or things are going to get really bad for her. But, when Andie goes away to college, and her mother sees her again for the first time, she can’t hide her surprise at how large her daughter has become. And it is really painful for Andie.
“Until that day, that moment when I felt like a stranger in her eyes, she had been my sole source of comfort. She was the one who loved me unconditionally, who saw me as beautiful regardless. In the past when she noticed my weight, her worry seemed entirely empathetic, a way of loving me in my struggle. Now, it seemed grave.” pg 99, ebook.
Anyone who has struggled with their weight will find something to empathize with in Andie’s book. She wants to be fit, but she doesn’t know how to either eat or exercise in moderation.
Her journey may teach, encourage and cheer others on their way to a smaller size. Andie has been there and knows the daily struggles.
Thanks for reading!
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