The Power of Charm is a book written for business professionals, who want to give themselves a bit of a leg up, by increasing their charm potential.
I found the book to be interesting, but it also flirts with the line between charming and manipulating. I suppose we could ask ourselves if, at the end of the day, there is any difference between the two.
Personally, I think there is.
In my mind, charm is unrehearsed, natural and springs from a genuine interest in others. Manipulation is ego-driven scheming. But, both can get you what you want.
I’m torn as to how this book actually fell on that scale. Some of the exercises feel like charm practices- others, like manipulation strategies.
Essentially, Brian Tracy and Ron Arden give listening and speaking tips to better understand whoever it is you’re interacting with. There’s nothing all that manipulative about polishing your communication skills.
On the other hand, in the chapter entitled: “Do Your Homework” in which the authors say, “Anytime you are getting together with someone, socially or professionally, whom you particularly want to impress, do your homework. Learn what you can about that person before you actually meet. It’s the best way to be charming and interesting to others.” pg 107. It didn’t sit so well with me.
Here’s why- Tracy gives the following story as an example: “I learned of a successful business owner with a crack sales team who was discontented with the company he was representing. … In asking around, I discovered that he was heavily into numerology and made all his decisions based on the numbers of the birth dates of potential business partners… One of his first questions of me was my birthday. I was prepared. I told him that it was a certain day, month, and year that added up to a ‘lucky number’ for business relationships. … The preparation was the key.” pg 108.
That smacks to me of manipulation rather than charm. What do you think?
On the other hand, I seriously appreciated the tips on how to become a better conversationalist. I’ve got some work to do there.
Generally, I let my fast-talking husband take the lead in social conversations because he always has something to say. I see now how that may be a disservice to others who may want to get to know me better.
“The Secret of Charm: The deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel valued and valuable. The secret of charm is therefore simple: make others feel important.” pg 12.
It is as simple and powerful as that. I’d also recommend being kind. The world could use more charm and kindness.
Recommended for readers who understand the difference between charm and manipulation. I’m not sure that includes me, but I’ve already read it so… sorry.
And thanks for reading!
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